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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-20 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163919
Caption: Boss? Did you happen to start a Youtube channel? We have no proof of that, minion. But I came across a Youtube video called "Humiliate Your Employees for Fun and Profit." Sounds interesting. The guy giving advice in that video looks just like you. No he doesn't. He's got a huge mustache and an eye patch. I mean ... he sounds like he probably has a huge mustache and an eye patch. Very bad man.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-19 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-19 Pub. Date: 2017-10-19
Image Number: 163918
Caption: Randy, I heard you're making a killing from your Youtube channel. How can a guy get in on that action? Simple … Just sit down in front of a camera and talk from the heart about something you're passionate about. Just be a genuine human being. People are drawn to that. I see, I see. Just one thing: What if the phrase "genuine human being" makes a guy break out in hives? Plan B: Find out what people are googling and pretend to be an expert on the highest-ranked search term. No we're talking.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-18 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-18 Pub. Date: 2017-10-18
Image Number: 163917
Caption: I can watch tv anywhere I bet that blows your mind. Why's that, loser? Tap tap tap tap. Because in your day, a televisions was a 5-ton steam-powered machine. You had to crank a handle to make it run … and "running" meant a curtain would open and two old-timey people in the box would act out a silent tv show. Wait ... are you trying to insult me ... or are you getting your history from Youtube again? "Buck-Naked Historian" has 5 million subscribers, so it must be accurate.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-17 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-17 Pub. Date: 2017-10-17
Image Number: 163916
Caption: I can't believe blade runner 2049 flopped so hard, Randy. I can, little buddy. It was amazing. It was beautifully done. But it was fifteen thousand hours long. At the 2.5 hour mark, your eye starts to wander. You start thinking about other movies. You think maybe you rushed into this one and you're just settling. Are we still talking about movies? You think of sneaking into a different one.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-15 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-15 Pub. Date: 2017-10-15
Image Number: 163200
Caption: You look tired, Rudy. Nah, I'm actually not tired. Why don't you go take a break. I'll man the counter for you. That's ok, Uncle Mort. Look at those bags beneath your eyes. And … are those wrinkles I see there? Did you know you age faster if you don't sleep? I'm on to you, Uncle Mort. You want me to step away so you can fix yourself an Espresso. Your doctors said no caffeine. You sound paranoid, Rudy. You're seeing duplicity everywhere. That's a symptom of sleep deprivation. I'm just thinking about your well-being. You're getting very very tired!!! Nice try, Uncle Mort.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-13 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163644
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in education programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never opened.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-12 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-12 Pub. Date: 2017-10-12
Image Number: 163643
Caption: All right, you may tell me about your internet startup idea. It's revolutionary. You know how the only way to tell if you stink is to sniff your armpit? Continue … and you know how embarrassing it is when people you know catch you sniffing your own armpit? Continue ... and you know how apps like "Uber" let you summon total strangers to drive by and provide you a service? Stop right there.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-10 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-10 Pub. Date: 2017-10-10
Image Number: 163641
Caption: I have an idea for a new internet startup. What is it? I can't tell you. Someone may overhear. It's such a good idea, someone's bound to steal it if I tell even a single soul You're supposed to beg to hear it. You're not begging. You had your chance.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-08 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-08 Pub. Date: 2017-10-08
Image Number: 162958
Caption: What was it you wanted to talk about, minion? Boss, you called me in at 2a.m. to clean out the gutters. We don't have any gutters. Of course we don't have any gutters. I'm confused. When I ordered you to clean out the gutters, it was clearly implied that you're first supposed to install them. Am I supposed to do all your thinking for you, Rudy? This is very disappointing. This will impact your next weekly performance review. Anyway, you'd better get to it. How do you expect the cafe's rooftop garden to properly drain without gutters? We don't have a rooftop garden. Very bad man. How do you expect to placate the green-freaks once we install the oil wells without a rooftop garden.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-07 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-07 Pub. Date: 2017-10-07
Image Number: 163387
Caption: The Ask Sadie Show. Actual answers to actual reader questions. Dear Sadie, When you were a teenager, did your parents tell you you were too young to date? How did you deal with that? - Frustrated with Dad. Never! In my day, there were no "teen-agers." You were either big enough to run the machinery, or small enough to be used as a pipe-cleaner in the machinery.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-06 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163386
Caption: Do you remember your early childhood, Randy? Of course, little buddy. I come from a long line of Randies who have photographic memories. It's an evolutionary trait that enabled early Randies to survive despite being connoisseurs of the female form. "Evolution"? Doesn't that mean some of them didn't make it? Overly long stares lead to nothing but trouble.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-05 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-05 Pub. Date: 2017-10-05
Image Number: 163385
Caption: Do you remember your early childhood, Randy? Of course, little buddy. I come from a long line of Randies who have photographic memories. It's an evolutionary trait that enabled early Randies to survive despite being connoisseurs of the female form. "Evolution"? Doesn't that mean some of them didn't make it? Overly long stares lead to nothing but trouble.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-04 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-04 Pub. Date: 2017-10-04
Image Number: 163384
Caption: I googled your great-great-great-great-grandmother. There's no mention of her at all. You nincompoop. They didn't have Facebook or Tweeter or anything in the 1760s. You have to march your lazy behind into a hall of records and search through the catacombs for a dusty old file. By "file," I mean an actual file folder with supple paper, not a blinky little folder cartoon on a glowy computer screen. (Sigh) ... by "paper," I mean ...
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-26 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-26 Pub. Date: 2017-09-26
Image Number: 163104
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie show. You're on caller. What's your problem? The Orville. Don't get me started. Orville Redenbacher stole his popping-corn recipe from Grandma Cohen. But … "but she stole it from Clarence Hornswaggler descendant of the guy who stole it from the Native Americans," Yeah everyone knows that story; it's fake news. No, I meant "The Orville," that "Star-Trek" type show by Seth McFarlane. What's that have to do with popcorn? Call back when you're not so confused. Next caller!
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-24 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-24 Pub. Date: 2017-09-24
Image Number: 162444
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Groupeé? You can call me "Booster." Dr. Noodle. Hey, who was that who just left your office? Was that that historian I saw on TV? Herodotus Jenkins? I can't say. He's the best. He come here this time every week? I can't say. And who's that out in the waiting room? Is that Brock Manly of "Fast & Furious 12" fame? I can't say. What brings you here? I heard you treat all the famous people. I just thought it might be nice to know the rich and famous are as messed up as me. This is a space for discussing you, not other people. I hear you, I hear you. What'd Brock Manly say when you told him that?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-23 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-23 Pub. Date: 2017-09-23
Image Number: 162865
Caption: I was eating my muffin and drinking my latte when I noticed the tv on your wall is only 1080p resolution. That's right. So you admit it! Your tv is not an 8k UHD television! And yet your sign outside says "good eats and state of the art tech inside." That's false advertising. I might be willing to forgo the class action lawsuit and settle out of court. I'd settle for a 1080p tv. Get out.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-18 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-18 Pub. Date: 2017-09-18
Image Number: 162860
Caption: I'm panicking. You know how the Andromeda galaxy is supposed to collide with our Milky Way in billions of years? What are you talking about, little buddy? I just learned that there's an awful lot of ionized hydrogen from Andromeda's halo that's already touching the ionized hydrogen from our galaxy's halo. I'm not following. It's like when you're in your 30s and your hand brushes against a girl's had for the very first time. HOJ. I see. Why didn't you just say ... wait ... your thirties? ... and you panic because you're still years away from being ready.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-17 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-17 Pub. Date: 2017-09-17
Image Number: 162203
Caption: My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actually an Alternate Reality Version of Your Girlfriend So it's OK Saturdays." In other words, Saturdays are just fun stories about dumb guys who couldn't get away with dumb things. Viewership spikes to about 15 mil for those. Well ... anyway, like I was saying ... I'm just 87 subscribers away from hitting the 100-subscriber mark. Cool ... Hey, can I feature you on an upcoming "Stop Embarrassing Yourself Sunday"?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-15 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162613
Caption: I've edited our Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. I could not care less. Now whenever anyone searches for "Sadie Cohen" … they'll find that your personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired … and that you're the world's first successfully-bred human-wildebeest hybrid. I was wrong. I could care less.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-11 your 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-11 Pub. Date: 2017-09-11
Image Number: 162609
Caption: Andrea Wheaton doesn’t even notice I'm alive. Good! At your age, you shouldn't be wasting your time on crushes and other interpersonal relationships. Not unless the girl's mom or dad has connections you can exploit. Is Rudy here? You should be 100% focused on building your empire.
     
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