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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-10-08 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-10-08 Pub. Date: 2019-10-08
Image Number: 179833
Caption: How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-08-21 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-08-21 Pub. Date: 2019-08-21
Image Number: 179023
Caption: Rudy Park, citizen journalist. Impressive. Scoops are my business, the internet is my medium. My just cause is keeping government and corporations honest through impartial and dogged … um … and … Is that a new iPhone? Awesome!! Oh brother.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-08-20 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-08-20 Pub. Date: 2019-08-20
Image Number: 179022
Caption: Idea! Waste it on someone else. I know how I can spend my spare time now that my work hours have been cut. Citizen journalist. What did you know and when did you know it?! Oh brother.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-05-13 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-05-13 Pub. Date: 2019-05-13
Image Number: 177632
Caption: Hey wannabe Steve Jobs, get me a coffee. In a sec. What? I'm live blogging my job. I'm writing a moment-by-moment account of the day and uploading it in real time to the web. Preparing for a massacre. Charming customer.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-28 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176948
Caption: I have laryngitis. I lost my voice screaming because the internet generation is so self-centered. You write self-centered blogs, internet sites, and now you tweet. You are navel-gazing narcissists. Aaaah. Getting yelled at by a sign. Tap tap tap tap.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-27 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-27 Pub. Date: 2019-03-27
Image Number: 176947
Caption: Ask Sadie listeners, I've just learned about something called tweeting. It involves writing short messages on your phone about whatever dumb thing you're doing and then broadcasting them to your followers. Aaaaahhhhh! Ask Sadie will be out for several days due to laryngitis.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-02-03 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-02-03 Pub. Date: 2019-02-03
Image Number: 175852
Caption: Ask Sadie! I'm 50, reasonably attractive and intelligent, but I haven't had a date in 19 years. How do I get back into the dating scene? - KC, Tacoma, WA** **actual reader question. KC, you've been out of the game for a bit, but don't be afraid to use the latest technology. First, find someone you like, then write them an email in which you explain your feelings. And threaten that if they refuse your overture, you'll dig into their past and expose their legal, personal and financial failings to the world over the world wide internet. Love can be so much more exciting in the modern age. Ask Sadie. Spreading the word of hope and live in the modern world.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-13 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-13 Pub. Date: 2018-11-13
Image Number: 174942
Caption: You are really really old and you don't have a life. GET A LIFE!!!!!!! - Haley. Actual reader letter. You want to handle this one, pardner? Pretty straight-forward. If her life is pathetic then how pathetic is your life if you're writing to comment about it? Thank you, reader. You've brought us together. condescension.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-16 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-16 Pub. Date: 2018-08-16
Image Number: 173524
Caption: … and so I promise my audience this: I will repent. I will redouble my efforts to be cruel to Rudy. I will … Wait … redouble my efforts … who writes this @#$% crud? This is a bunch of hooey. I've been out up to this. I was never nice to Rudy. The network faked the video tape. It's a lie!!! Pull the plug. The old lady's finished ...
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-03 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-03 Pub. Date: 2018-08-03
Image Number: 173261
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Most people mellow with age. So what's your problem? -Baldwood. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. I'll handle this one. She has mellowed. You’re witnessing a watered-down Sadie Cohen. He's right. Five years ago, I'd have found the person who wrote this letter and beaten him silly with tree branches. Not a bad plan. Is there a return address? I stand corrected. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-11)
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-15 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-15 Pub. Date: 2018-07-15
Image Number: 172922
Caption: Rudy Park Enterprises is proud to announce its own Sadie Cohen has been selected as most obnoxious and caustic radio host of the year. Speech, speech!!! You're too kind. Obviously, every girl dreams of getting this kind of recognition. I'm well aware it's customary to thank everyone who made this moment possible. It's true. I might not have won if it weren't for the lifeless jerks imbeciles who listen to the show and write in with their stupid email questions. But you are all beneath contempt. The only person I want to thank is Rudy Park. Your shallow and insipid existence inspired m every single day. Can I tweet that?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-05 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-05 Pub. Date: 2018-05-05
Image Number: 171063
Caption: Boss? I was cleaning out the bunker like you said to, when I stumbled across blueprints for an O'Neill cylinder. You're imagining things, minion. The front page was a to-do list: Step five was herd genetically modified people onto orbital O'Neill cylinder. Step four was slip fattener into coffee. Step three was become minister of cafes. Step two: Elect Trump. Relax, it's just a short story I wrote in the '80s when I was a hatchling - I mean when I was a kid. Step one was assume identity of original Armstrong Maynard.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-01 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169596
Caption: Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't exactly go as planned. So I said to him I thought you were the Union! And I got up and walked out. Which was just as well, because in retrospect I'm sur ehe was trying to become my sugar daddy. And what was the question again? Ask Sadie. Almost answering questions since 1920-something. Send questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-06 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-06 Pub. Date: 2018-03-06
Image Number: 169196
Caption: I've been reading a lot of ancient history lately. That's good, little buddy. The distant past is pretty fascinating. You're preaching to the choir. Before every date, I like to revisit the pax romana. The point in time when all the squabbling ceased and all of Europe got down to some good lovin'. What's your favorite time in ancient history? March 28th, 2015. that's when I retweeted a great tweet I'd written back on December 5th, 2014.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-04 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-04 Pub. Date: 2018-03-04
Image Number: 168535
Caption: I wonder what life was like before the internet. What are you talking about? You don't have to wonder what life was like before the internet. You were here! We have no proof of that. I've googled myself. There's no reference to me existing prior to 1994. No blog posts, no photos, no tweets. I mean sure, you can find my birth certificate, but that means nothing. There is nothing online that was written by me, personally prior to 1994. Stop that!!! I found a box of old polaroids. They're supposedly pictures of me as a child. But there's no proof of that. There are no photos of me that have verifiable metadata or time stamps prior to 1994. Don't look at me like that. There isn't a single link proving you existed prior to 1997 ... so respect your elders. Stop that!!!
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-17 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-17 Pub. Date: 2018-01-17
Image Number: 167379
Caption: I'm exhausted, Randy. What happened, little buddy? It's my side gig, where I back people up in online arguments for $5 per thread. I got a new client at 3 a.m. last night … morning … whatever. I just spent twelve hours writing things like What a genius comment! Definitely doesn't seem senile to me! Hm. I suspect you'll be able to mile this cash cow for at least three more years. if I have to type fake news! One more time, I'm gonna lose it.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-10 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-10 Pub. Date: 2018-01-10
Image Number: 167106
Caption: Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say now problem because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-31 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-31 Pub. Date: 2017-12-31
Image Number: 166139
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... Troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea coming up.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-30 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-30 Pub. Date: 2017-12-30
Image Number: 166544
Caption: John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-01 write 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-01 Pub. Date: 2017-11-01
Image Number: 164423
Caption: Sadie, I saw something disturbing on Youtube. A theoretical physicist named S. James Gates Jr. was attempting to discern the elementary structure of nature. It let him to a set of equations that were indistinguishable from computer code. Computer code, he found, is written into the equations that describe the cosmos. Do you have any idea what this means? It means it might be true that we're all part of a simulation! I'm assuming you've stopped talking, since your lips are no longer flapping.
     
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