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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-13 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-13 Pub. Date: 2019-09-13
Image Number: 179398
Caption: The world's going to censored Susan. I don’t think it's wrong for me to want one last shot at absolute euphoria. How about it, Susan? Just you and me. But … Lemont … What about your girlfriend? I don't think she'd mind if I saw Coming to America 2 with you.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-12 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-12 Pub. Date: 2019-09-12
Image Number: 179397
Caption: I'm tellin' you, Big L, it's a exciting time to be alive. Kids in cages … Right wing demagogues subverting democracies all over the world … mass shootings … climate change … No, Clyde, I don't see what's so exciting about these times. Eddie Murphy comin' all the way back, bruh. Cages, Clyde. Cages!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-24 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-24 Pub. Date: 2019-08-24
Image Number: 179098
Caption: Do you think you'll ever get tired of working for the TSA, Randy? Let me see, little buddy … Will I ever get tired of encountering some of the most interesting people in the world … like Beyonce, and Rihanna, and Emilia Clarke, and Amber Heard, and Jennifer Lawrence, and the rest ... and making sure their pat-downs are completely professional yet totally thorough? This is why I never fly anywhere anymore. As long as blood pumps through my veins, I will never tire of this job.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-13 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-13 Pub. Date: 2019-07-13
Image Number: 178425
Caption: Did you see that video where important world leaders are talking at the G-20 … and wondering why the heck Donald Trump's daughter is trying to be part of their conversation? It triggered me. It brought back that time in college where I found myself at the same party with Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. I interjected with a pretty enlightening Sanford and Son analogy, and things got awkward. Why is you still talkin'?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-02 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-02 Pub. Date: 2019-07-02
Image Number: 178391
Caption: Remember how the whole country spent the last couple weeks debating whether the centers where we stick migrants are technically concentration camps? Of course. Why? Why? … Because that's not normal. When you find yourself saying the way we torture toddlers and infants isn't as bad as the way Nazis tortured them ... I think you've got a problem.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-27 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-27 Pub. Date: 2019-06-27
Image Number: 178258
Caption: Germany, 1933 … I'm tired of you calling the places where we house Jewish people concentration camps. That diminishes the atrocity those barbaric British in South Africa did to the Boer people in their actual concentration camps. That could never happen here. You owe the Boer people an apology. Gute nacht opa.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-26 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-26 Pub. Date: 2019-06-26
Image Number: 178257
Caption: As I was saying, you can't call what we have concentration camps because that diminishes what happened in the Holocaust. Never again means never again will we let people commit genocide. I always thought it meant never again will we let people even begin to do things that led to genocide ... like calling people an infestation and locking them in camps. You thought wrong.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-19 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-19 Pub. Date: 2019-06-19
Image Number: 178162
Caption: I read the President's going to start keeping migrant kids at Fort Sill … one of the concentration camps where we kept Japanese Americans during World War II. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Santayana. It's one of the most-repeated quotes ever ... which means all of mankind probably needs to see a ... what do you call a memory-doctor? I forget.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-19 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-19 Pub. Date: 2019-05-19
Image Number: 177643
Caption: NASA found seven earthlike planets, Randy. Amazing times, little buddy. And they're all in the same star system. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Almost certainly not. I'm thinking it's not coincidence. There are seven earthlike worlds in that system, and seven continents on earth. Stop! I don't want to hear any crazy conspiracy theories! Not everything is connected! Get over it, loser! I always thought it was fishy that both the first Jewish menorah and the Kwanzaa kinara have seven candles. We should have our own astronomy show. STOP!!! Come to think of it, I once dated seven sisters from Caracas, which has seven letters. Coincidence???
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-18 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-18 Pub. Date: 2019-05-18
Image Number: 177625
Caption: Have you seen Avengers? Yeah, I saw that Socialist propaganda. What? Men in tights who thought they could make everything great with the snap of a finger. The world moved on when 3.5 billion people vanished. That means if they came back, they'd all be unemployed. Not everything has to be political. I turned to the stranger next to me said How are they going to pay for that?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-09 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-09 Pub. Date: 2019-05-09
Image Number: 177531
Caption: Do you understand now why I never want to have kids, Lemont? You hate kids. No, I love them. And I don't want them living in a world where they have to be taught what to do in case of an active shooter. It's not the world, Susan. It's America. You could move to lots of places where school shootings don't happen. Well ... can I move to someplace that won't be affected by climate change? It's ok to admit you just don't like kids.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-05 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-05 Pub. Date: 2019-05-05
Image Number: 177448
Caption: What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jollee? My unhappy coworkers. Dr. Noodle. They're the ones with the problem, not me. I'm happy. All of the time. All of the time? Every moment, I greet the world with a smile and with laughter! No matter what's happening! Aaris brought donuts, and I said What a great guy! whenever anyone makes a sale, I lead a cheer! When Andy fell out the window, I shouted Cheer up! There're trees down there! Aim for those! What? The next day, everyone else was moping around, but not me. I put on a smile and said On the bright side, almost all the cactuses are still ok! ... and that's when they sent you to therapy. No, they sent me here after I gave the eulogy.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-29 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-29 Pub. Date: 2019-04-29
Image Number: 177383
Caption: Lemont? How come you kept sending me straight to voicemail all weekend? It wasn't 'cause they're announcing the Pulitzer Prize winners today and I thought they might call the winners over the weekend. I wasn't hoping to win or anything. I already know I'm a good writer. I don't need external validation. You're the worst liar in the world. Is there an award for that?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-26 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-26 Pub. Date: 2019-04-26
Image Number: 177327
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some old quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. My bad can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-04-08 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-04-08 Pub. Date: 2019-04-08
Image Number: 177113
Caption: California accounted for 75% of all new jobs in February. Pareto Principle. It's how the world works. 20% of the people own 80% of the land. 20% of my clients give me 80% of my sales. I bet if we studies it, we'd find that 20% of what happens to us gives us 80% of our memories. Technically, California only has 12% of the population, not 20%. 20% of the time, you get 80% of the point.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-28 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-28 Pub. Date: 2019-03-28
Image Number: 176942
Caption: Your article about the electoral college was riddled with inaccuracies. You mean my humor column? The electoral college not a for-profit, fake real estate training program started by James and Ivanka Madison to defraud people out of their life savings. It was a joke. And Hollywood actors and rich CEOs did not bribe people to get their spoiled kids into the electoral college. It was a joke. (Sigh) People always get extra-literal when their worldview is challenged. We're talking about my view of the electoral college, not of the world.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-02 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-02 Pub. Date: 2019-03-02
Image Number: 176502
Caption: What I believe. Part 480. My child is me. His body came first from me. His thoughts began as a reaction to me and to the world as I introduced it to him. When he judges me, I'm being judged but the most honest, innocent part of myself … So maybe my butt really IS getting big.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-24 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176205
Caption: In my day, we were happier. We spent more time with friends. We even got along with people who disagreed with us political. We got outside more, traveled the roads, counted the stars, went fishing, watched the tumbleweeds … We were out in the world, ambling around. Experiencing it all. We didn't waste 11 hours a day staring into screens! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up. I said, I can handle a quadruple espresso. I don't care what Google told you.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-21 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-21 Pub. Date: 2019-02-21
Image Number: 176394
Caption: I looked up that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote. He said … To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment. I wonder if he'd have said that if he hadn't died in 1882. I'm not sure marching to the beat of one's own drummer is as great an accomplishment as walking on the moon, for instance. Shhh. Gilligan Island be on.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-08 world 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-08 Pub. Date: 2019-01-08
Image Number: 175737
Caption: William Shakespeare didn't really write any of those plays. Biggie an' Tupac faked they own deaths. We never went to the moon. Elvis an' Hitler faked they own deaths. Lizard people fun the world. Yo momma never loved you. When Name Your Favorite Conspiracy Theories Goes Wrong. Your girlfriend be cheatin' on you.
     
Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  Next  (309 images)