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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-05 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-05 Pub. Date: 2018-07-05
Image Number: 172690
Caption: Society has forsaken nuance. Everything is either black or white now. No one admits that anyone else has a valid opinion. Don't you agree? Spare change? Will work 4 food. NO!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-03 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-03 Pub. Date: 2018-07-03
Image Number: 172688
Caption: Sir, why won't you let me fire Dick Fink? He's blackmailing you, isn't he? He's lazy, he's conniving, he's incompetent, he's a disaster. Don't you see, Garcia? I've given you the most precious gift an executive could have: Your very own scapegoat. Dios mio, what's he have on you?! The phrase you're looking for is "thank you."
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-02 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-02 Pub. Date: 2018-07-02
Image Number: 172687
Caption: Dick, can you get met the "Ask Shadie Show" metrics and then get Sadie Cohen on the phone? Can't ma'am. This is America. Don't use the metric system. Doesn't pay to appear un-American in there perilous times. Get to work, Dick. You'll thank me when "they" don't come for you.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-29 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172491
Caption: Ms. Garcia, I just want to thank you for trusting me to handle the Ask Sadie Show account. I've been waiting for a chance to prove myself. When I opened your memo this morning, I got right to work on a ten-step action plan. I wasted no time. I promise I won't let you down. I sent you that memo last year, Courtney. Step one is to tell you I disagree with having Kevin Spacey do the voiceover.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-17 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-17 Pub. Date: 2018-06-17
Image Number: 172067
Caption: Why're you reading that … thing? Well, because it's interesting. It's a book of political cartoons. We Eat the Poor. Do you have any idea how important political cartoons are? Political cartoons helped bring down King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. And then there's Napoleon ... He was so terrified of cartoonists that he banned them. And when that didn't work, he commissioned cartoons to counterattack his enemies with. Hitler was terrified of cartoons. Nixon put cartoonists on his enemies list. Tyrants all over the world are jailing of killing them. No, I mean why are you reading that flappy think? Don't you have a Kindle or a phone? ... Someone needs to draw a cartoon about you.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-14 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-14 Pub. Date: 2018-06-14
Image Number: 172215
Caption: Remember Rudy Park, my college roommate? He just tipped me off to breaking news. Some geological disaster across the bridge. Wow. You should totally go cover that. I'm glad you think so, 'cause it wouldn't really be responsible to take a 2-year-old to a geological disaster. Could you watch my boy for a few days? On second thought, that's a boring story. Nobody wants to hear about that. He's almost potty trained. Sorry, I have a ... work ... ish thing.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-11 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-11 Pub. Date: 2018-05-11
Image Number: 171293
Caption: How come everyone leaves work early on Fridays, Clyde? People just have no work ethic. What ever happened to It ain't over 'til the f … um … I mean, what ever happened to It ain't over 'til it's over? What was you gonna say, Big L? Nothing that's become incredibly, horrendously outdated and offensive. you was gonna say 'Til the fat lady sing, wasn't you? Never.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-10 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-10 Pub. Date: 2018-05-10
Image Number: 171292
Caption: I'm working on an article called The Unified Theory of Everything. But I've hit a snag. Every single science-related government agency I've contacted is stonewalling me. None of them will provide someone I can interview. NASA … the EPA … USGS … NSF … NOAA ... They all gave me the phone number for a new oversight department run out of the White House. It's called the Mendacious yammering Obstruction Bureau ... MYOB?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-29 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-29 Pub. Date: 2018-04-29
Image Number: 170626
Caption: I read your article called We Still Have Slavery in America. What a load of nonsense. Everyone knows our dear, sweet and wonderful Congress abolished slavery with the thirteenth amendment. That's right. But that same 13th amendment says Except as punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly connected. Trump calls mass incarceration "good start". Black and brown people are stopped more often, and convicted more harshly than white people who've done that same stuff, our prisons are mostly black and brown. They force these people to work. Sometimes for next to nothing. But often for nothing at all. They lease convicts out to work in mines, to pick cotton on farms, to sew lingerie, to build weapons of war, and if they refuse to work for free, they're punished. Yeah, well ... slavery was in the 19th century. This is the 21st, ipso facto, it can't be slavery. Haven't you wondered why they've sent millions and millions to prison for smoking the wrong plant?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-27 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-27 Pub. Date: 2018-04-27
Image Number: 170823
Caption: What are the most important issues facing the working class? The what? The working class. And poor folks. Oh. Yeah. Of course. Mainstream Media. Trump's working-class voters stick with him, as Democrats can't decide whether to once again be the party of FDR. No, I mean tell me about actual, non-Trump-related issues working class people have to deal with. Progressives and corporate Dems book mud-wrestling pit to discuss midterm strategy.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-17 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-17 Pub. Date: 2018-04-17
Image Number: 170575
Caption: My assistant, Dick Fink, somehow removed all the glass from my windows and I nearly plummeted to my death. I need to fire him, sir. Don't you think you're being just a tiny bit hysterical, Garcia? You're not sure it was him. And the man has a family to support. Whatever it is, work it out. Does he have something on you, Mr. Fitzhugh? You're always protecting him. Does he know some dirty secret? Of course not. By the way, totally unrelated ... let's whisper when we discuss Fink, ... just for kicks. Yayle. CEO of the Year.2002.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-19 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-19 Pub. Date: 2018-03-19
Image Number: 169626
Caption: I was listening to the radio this morning. They were talking about the Great Recession. Remember how Congress regulated the financial industry after the Great Recession to help ensure it wouldn't happen again? It's worked for almost eight whole years, so now Congress figures Well, that's enough of that. On the bright side, the recovery was so slow that I still have nothing to lose when the Great Recession II happens.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-07 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169165
Caption: Have you already had any coffee from that pot, Ms. Garcia? Why do you ask, Terry? Oh … no reason. No reason at all. If you've already had some, you may as well have more. It wouldn't make a difference at this point. Are you trying to scare me away form the coffee so you can have it all yourself? It's been an honor working with you, ma'am.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-03 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-03 Pub. Date: 2018-03-03
Image Number: 168932
Caption: Big business co-opts everything. Will work for $$$. Will work for $$ Inc., a Concast subsidiary.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-17 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-17 Pub. Date: 2018-02-17
Image Number: 168418
Caption: I realized this morning I'm not nineteen anymore, Susan. I was riding my bike faster than I had in years. I was flying! Pedaling hard and strong. I'd just hit warp speed … when an actual nineteen-year-old zoomed past me going twice as fast. He wasn't even breaking a sweat. I'm sure he was working hard too, Lemont. He was sipping a Slurpee and dribbling a basketball.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-04 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-04 Pub. Date: 2018-02-04
Image Number: 167354
Caption: More than 170 million of us might have radium in our tap water, Clyde. Radium. Do you have any idea what this means? What it mean, Big L? Canada or Bust! It means we may be drinking radioactive water. It could cause all sorts of things: anemia, bone cancer, cataracts, fractured teeth, death ... invisibility, super speed, wings, teleportation, mind-reading, laser eyes, crime-fighting, and a spandex-and-cape fetish. I'm just trying to look on the bright side of living in a country where the White House keeps nominating a person who's known for falsifying data to get around water safety regulations to be head of the White House Council of Environmental Quality. I don't drink nothin' but Pepsi, bruh, so I don't care 'bout none of this. I'm gonna have to start working out if I have to wear spandex.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-27 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-27 Pub. Date: 2018-01-27
Image Number: 167655
Caption: Hi momma, how are you doing? It's Lemont. Your son. What do you mean it can't be. It is. What do you mean the real Lemont is busy sending me videos of my grandson like he promised. I did send you videos. What do you mean they don't work? Did you press play? What do you mean ... (sigh) Did you press the triangle? (Sigh) No, momma, I can't just send a VHS.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-26 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-26 Pub. Date: 2018-01-26
Image Number: 167654
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.comcandorville. @candorville - I read your article about Orpah maybe running for president. I agree with you, the amateurization of America, from Uber to academia to AirBnB to the White House, is a troubling trend. If only we'd all get certified by taking awesome online courses for only $299/month at tinyurl.com/bxn8Lm6. They just get sneakier and sneakier. Anyway, I'm totally just a fan writing to tell you I love your work.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-20 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-20 Pub. Date: 2018-01-20
Image Number: 167360
Caption: Will work for $$$. Will explain the appeal of Donald Trump for $$$. (Originally published on 2016-01-02).
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-17 work 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-17 Pub. Date: 2018-01-17
Image Number: 167357
Caption: I'm not in love with my girlfriend anymore. How do I fix that? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice 50¢. Here what you do, bruh: Pretend she ain't your girlfriend. Pretend she the hot single women you first noticed. You mean try to look at her with fresh eyes again? I meant go see other women ... but that could work too. (Originally published on 2015-12-30)
     
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