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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2019-01-06 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2019-01-06 Pub. Date: 2019-01-06
Image Number: 175789
Caption: Nancy Pelosi Counsels Rashida Tlaib on Use of the M-F Bomb. When we decide to impeach the (M-F bomb) I will be the one to announce it. Until that time … Acme Gag Co. Quote of the Day. We'll impeach. Bad Words for all Occasions.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-11-29 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-11-29 Pub. Date: 2018-11-29
Image Number: 175236
Caption: Gene Editing. Stet.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-09-03 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173944
Caption: Pallbearers. Ok, make a list. I don't want McCain's damn daughter there, and I don't want Obama, or Hillary or … The T Word.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-12-24 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-12-24 Pub. Date: 2017-12-24
Image Number: 166525
Caption: From a Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. "Oh, Man!" looks here. Look, look, down here!" exclaimed the Ghost. They were a boy and a girl. Yellow, meagre, scowling, wolfish; but prostrate, too, in their humility. Where graceful youth should have filled their features out, and touched them with its freshest tints, a stale and shrivelled hand, like that of age, had pinched, and twisted them, and pulled them into shreds. Where angels might have sat enthroned, devils lurked, and glared out menacing. No change, no degradation, no perversion of humanity, in any grade, through all the mysteries of wonderful creation, has monsters half so horrible and dread. Scrooge started back, appalled. Having them shown to him in this way, he tried to say they were fine children, but the words choked themselves, rather than be parties to a lie of such enormous magnitude. "Spirit! Are they yours!" Scrooge could say now more. "They are Man's," said the Spirit, looking down upon them. "And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased. "Deny it!" cried the Spirit, stretching out its hand towards the city. "Slander those who tell it ye! Admit it for your factious purposes, and make it worse. And bide the end!" "Have they no refuge or resource!" cried Scrooge. "Are there no prisons!" said the Spirit, turning on him for the last time with his own words. "Are there no workhouses!"
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-22 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-22 Pub. Date: 2017-10-22
Image Number: 164187
Caption: From Catch 22* "Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. and Mrs. _______: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father, or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action." Got those letter ready fro me to sign, Sarah? FOX. *From Chapter 31, Catch 22, with apologies to Joseph Heller.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-24 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-24 Pub. Date: 2017-04-24
Image Number: 157466
Caption: Mr. Sessions Instructs American Cities They Better Cooperate With the Feds. Ok, pay attention. This is a strongly worded letter … LA. Philly. New York. Chicago. Boston. Eh … You better obey … er um … er …
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-23 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139756
Caption: Word Reaches Your Cartoonist that Mitt Romney May be Thinking About Running. Real Men Use Higgins Ink. Make every penny a prisoner. TRMS. Dog on car! Dog on car! Dog on car! Milk. Eggs. Bread.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-24 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-24 Pub. Date: 2015-06-24
Image Number: 129240
Caption: The Suth. Ah figger if the president kin use the N-word, ah kin too. Yew got a future in Suthen politics, bubba. Suth Clina.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-06-17 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-06-17 Pub. Date: 2015-06-17
Image Number: 128850
Caption: Word Is that the Koch Brothers and Sheldon Adelson Are Joining Forces … and here, Sheldon, why don't you take our dog Scott for a walk? Scott Walker? $.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-04-08 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-04-08 Pub. Date: 2015-04-08
Image Number: 126753
Caption: Ron Paul, George H. W. Bush and Raul Cruz discuss advising sons running for President. Well, I think it's best to let them do whatever they think is best. I agree, that's the best way. Yea, verily, woe and etc. Heed the words of thy father and hold his wisdom to thy breast! As it says in the second epistle to Habakkuk which I wrote! Yea, verily, woe!
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-08-03 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-08-03 Pub. Date: 2014-08-03
Image Number: 114849
Caption: Democrats See GOP Lawsuit Against President as a Plus or in other words … Bring it on …
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-06-02 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-06-02 Pub. Date: 2014-06-02
Image Number: 112246
Caption: Obama Foreign Policy Boiled Down to Four Words: "Don't Do Stupid Stuff." Meanwhile, Over at Pentagon Planning. "Stupid stuff"? What does that mean? Some sort of code? Let's try reading it backwards. "Ffuts diputs". Hmmm … I'm beginning to smell a big fat Commie rat. this may be a problem ... We'll have to attack the problem. Don't do stupid stuff.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-12-23 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-12-23 Pub. Date: 2012-12-23
Image Number: 91647
Caption: The Lord's Word. Them dam' librels don't ever read their bahble! It sex right there in Paul's epistol to the Americans. Y'all kin have all the guns y'want. Read it! Ah know it's here somewheres … Holy bible. Can't you find it? Jus' a minit … I know it's here. Hmmm ... Seems like it done disappeared! How's you like that? The Lord's word is gone! They's only one explanation. Thet dayum Obama snuck in and took it out when we wuz sleepin'.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-28 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-28 Pub. Date: 2012-06-28
Image Number: 83109
Caption: A Letter from the Tea Party. Dear Justis (hah!) Roberts, We hate yew. Yew don't know nuthin' about the constitushun. Yew are stoopid. Why don't yew jump in the lake. God is gonna get yew and send yew to hell. Then you'll be sorry. We will never vote for yew again. You are a ... Gimme a word. Wait a minute ... Roget's Thesaurus for Dummies.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-15 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-15 Pub. Date: 2012-06-15
Image Number: 82289
Caption: Well … Perhaps we should stop sending so much armament to our friend in Syria … Da … We may need it here, ourselves. Vodka. (Russian language word).
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-04-17 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-04-17 Pub. Date: 2012-04-17
Image Number: 79665
Caption: New in America: Multi-age Households and Their Discontents. You young people today! You don't know nuthin' about baseball. I tell you Smookee Sam Brezooski was the best underhand knuckleballer in the world. Why if it wasn't for the war he would have … Which war was that, Grandma? Don't start an argument. The next thing you'll be claiming they should let Fooznoggle start ... Dam' right! The management is too old, that's what they got against Fooz. You said a bad word, pop. It ain't like the ol' days ...
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-03-11 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-03-11 Pub. Date: 2012-03-11
Image Number: 77574
Caption: Sauce for the Goose. You dam' cartoonists attack me! You make me look bad! You put words in my mouth I never said! You make me look like a slob! You tell lies! You make up facts! You … But Mr. Limbaugh .. I'm just and entertainer. Famous Artists School (Barely). Can you draw me? Any Ideas? How to Drew. Magic Pencils. 1 gross. Erasers.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-02-10 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-02-10 Pub. Date: 2012-02-10
Image Number: 76530
Caption: Modern Theology. What's this I hear about the great Catholic President, John F. Kennedy, having an adulterous affair with a 19-year old trollop? Well, there's only her word that it happened, you grace … No proof then, otherwise? No. It appears she used a contraceptive of some sort. One of those sinful condom things ... Thank God. In this style 10/6.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-07-28 word 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-07-28 Pub. Date: 2011-07-28
Image Number: 63856
Caption: No Caption (Elderly woman sitting on a rock holding a gun with a banner attached to it with the word "votes." She is sitting in a rainstorm under an umbrella looking at an open mailbox with "My dam' Social Security check better be here!" written on it.).
     
Result page:    2  Next  (22 images)