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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about wonders and wondering.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-06 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-06 Pub. Date: 2018-06-06
Image Number: 172070
Caption: I heard a loud, mysterious boom last night, Tyrone. As have people all over the world, Rosencrantz. Earthquakes where there should be none. Loud booms of unascertained origin. The masses are beginning to wonder if something is wrong with the earth itself. Or ... it could be that when you thought me asleep, you donned ballet shoes, crept to the middle of the alley and began twirling and dancing and accidentally leapt a grand jete into the dumpster ... it could've been that. What a man does in an alley, stays in the alley.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-04 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-04 Pub. Date: 2018-06-04
Image Number: 172068
Caption: Has it occurred to you, Rosencrantz, that we are never there? Wherever we are at any given moment is but a rest stop on a journey form where we were to where we are headed. All of existence is in motion. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if some great being would put its finger on existence and bring it to a halt. Even the great finger could not remain there forever, for the finger is always on a journey to somewhere else. I sense this thesis is about to go sideways, Tyrone.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-04 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-04 Pub. Date: 2018-05-04
Image Number: 171056
Caption: I read our article about how lead poisoning might be one of the main causes of violent crimes in Chicago and other cities. I liked the cost-benefit analysis part the best … where you compared the cot of replacing our cities' lead pipes vs. the cost of incarcerating criminals who were raised near those lead pipes. I bet you're going to win a Pulitzer for this one, Lemont. I wonder if there's any lead in that trophy.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-29 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-29 Pub. Date: 2018-04-29
Image Number: 170626
Caption: I read your article called We Still Have Slavery in America. What a load of nonsense. Everyone knows our dear, sweet and wonderful Congress abolished slavery with the thirteenth amendment. That's right. But that same 13th amendment says Except as punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly connected. Trump calls mass incarceration "good start". Black and brown people are stopped more often, and convicted more harshly than white people who've done that same stuff, our prisons are mostly black and brown. They force these people to work. Sometimes for next to nothing. But often for nothing at all. They lease convicts out to work in mines, to pick cotton on farms, to sew lingerie, to build weapons of war, and if they refuse to work for free, they're punished. Yeah, well ... slavery was in the 19th century. This is the 21st, ipso facto, it can't be slavery. Haven't you wondered why they've sent millions and millions to prison for smoking the wrong plant?
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-12 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-12 Pub. Date: 2018-03-12
Image Number: 169393
Caption: Hello, you've reached the Pentagon. Hi, Pentagon, this is Lemont Brown with the news site candorville.com. I'm writing a story, and I'm just wondering … could you remind me how many countries we're currently bombing? I wouldn't want to get it wrong. Is it still seven, or is it eight now? Click. Can I quote you on that?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-29 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-29 Pub. Date: 2017-10-29
Image Number: 163801
Caption: Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one in the office who notices the boss is a moron. Dr Noodle. Well … is he a moron? Certifiably. I even looked up the definition to be sure. A "moron" is defines as "a stupid person." So then I looked up "stupid" just to be sure. It means "having or showing a great lack of intelligence or common sense." I see you've given this a lot of thought. Yeah. Problem is, the last time he displayed his dingbattery I lose my temper and said "moron" out loud. The cretin heard about it. So to cover my behind, I had everyone gather around me and I praised him effusively. I laid it on thick, really buttered him up. Any intelligent person would have seen right through that. But your boss bought it. Instantly! See? Moron! How come no one else at works sees it?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-03 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163371
Caption: I wonder why people didn't seem to care as much about the devastation in Puerto Rico as they did about Houston. You serious, bruh? How old you is, six? Seven? Is you even potty trained yet? Or was you asleep the last two years when the country elected a white supremacist for president? It's not always about race. Sometimes it's just about laziness. Five. I think you five.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-18 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 158658
Caption: I read your article bashing Congressman Thugman for assaulting a reporter, you'd better watch your back, Leroy. Lemont. Whatever. You should change your name to "Enemy of the American People." Trump said so, and he's right. How was he right? There's nothing more American than a free press. Read the first amendment. The press is enshrined in the Constitution! Journalists report being beaten, arrested. Oh yeah? Well, the so-called "Constitution" also enshrined slavery. Yeah, but then the Constitution abolished slavery, with the 13th amendment. Exactly. It's crazy for you to defend yourself with a document that can't even make up its mind. No wonder they're body-slamming you guys now. I'm starting to think you'll say anything just to win an argument. That's my first amendment right. Why do you hate the Constitution?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-04 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156466
Caption: Good game, Big L. You only put it in the wrong basket once. I was preoccupied, Clyde. Taxes are due. If I take too many deductions, my income'll look tiny and I won't qualify for a mortgage. I see, bruh. When we was kids, your excuse was "the sun was in my eyes." Also, I saw an unfamiliar mole and wondered if it was malignant.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-24 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-24 Pub. Date: 2017-03-24
Image Number: 155917
Caption: This is the Ask Sadie Radio Hour. "Lemont" in Candorville, you're on. Yeah. I'm moving to Canada to be with a woman I love. I don't mean right now, I mean maybe next month. Or six months from now. Or maybe next year. Anyway, I'm definitely going. Maybe. Please don't tell me you want to know if you're moving too fast. Of course not. I want to know if I should consider wondering if I'm moving too fast. A Train.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-29 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-29 Pub. Date: 2017-01-29
Image Number: 153149
Caption: It all started back in college when I bought a copy of "Mimic City." It was cheap: About 20 simoleons. Dr. Noodle. I played it night and day. When "Mimic City 2" came out, I rushed out to buy it. And every few years a newer, better one would come out. Every iteration was more advanced than the last. The little mimics who populated Mimic City came to seem more and more real. They had jobs, and love lives, and had mimic kids, and grew old. Eventually, I started to wonder: If my mimics behave as if they're real ... what if they actually believe they're real? Would that make me their God? And, if they think they're real ... what if I only THINK I'm real? What if I and everyone else in Simkind are actually living in some game called "Sim City"? Not to self: Stop self-medicating, and just to be sure, delete games from phone. Thank you, Almighty Noodle, for listening to my prayers. Amen.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-05 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-05 Pub. Date: 2016-12-05
Image Number: 151813
Caption: What ever happened with you and Sasha? Not a thing. Two years ago. But when she wrote to you on Facebook after 14 years, you were so thrilled. Yeah. We ended up talking all day and all night for months, made plans for the future, designed matching tattoos ... but then it turned out she was married with five kids, so that was that. I heard she's now divorced and living in another state. Are you sure "that was that"? Have you ever wondered what's the best way to change a subject?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-25 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-25 Pub. Date: 2016-11-25
Image Number: 151298
Caption: Tyrone? I miss the days when my mother held me to her breast and sang nursery rhymes to me. That's because you're gullible, Rosencrantz. Nursery rhymes are how they program us to accept the notion that there is no truth, that facts are fungible and open to interpretation. Take "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star," for instance. We know exactly what stars are. We don't have to "wonder." Twinkle twinkle little star ... we know exactly what you are ... giant spheres of glowing gas ... powered by nuclear fusion ... Spare change?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-25 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-25 Pub. Date: 2016-09-25
Image Number: 148272
Caption: It all started when I considered voting for Donald Trump. He's against illegal immigration. I'm against illegal immigration. So why not? People said that made him racist. But I agree with him, and I know I'm not racist. And if people were wrong to call him "racist" about that, maybe they're wrong to call him racist about everything. I started arguing with my own wife. I said demanding Obama's birth certificate wasn't racist. I said wanting to ban all Muslim immigrants wasn't racist. Trump saying a judge couldn't do his job because he's Mexican-American? I said that wasn't racist. I said the fact he kept retweeting white supremacists wasn't racist. But yesterday ... I caught myself saying "What's so racist about white supremacists anyway?" You're worried that supporting Trump is desensitizing you to racism? No, I just wondered if I can bunk here tonight. My wife kicked me out.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-20 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-20 Pub. Date: 2016-09-20
Image Number: 148762
Caption: You're with what? "Jehovah's Alibi." Wit' all the terrible things happening in the world today … you may be wonderin' if a higher power know you done some o' that … and you may be wonderin' how you can blame that higher power for the stuff you done did. Tell me more. Kevin, give her a copy of the I-Ain't-Seen-Nothin' Tower.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-05 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-05 Pub. Date: 2016-09-05
Image Number: 148214
Caption: You ever wonder how many barbecues you got left in your life, Big L? I done the math. You factor in holidays an' summers an' weekends, that come to 148 barbecue opportunities a year. Given life expectancies, that only 11,603 official excuses to barbecue, on average. 9,620 if you a black man. I like to think 'bout these things on National Barbecue Day. Labor Day, Clyde. It's Labor Day.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-30 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-30 Pub. Date: 2016-06-30
Image Number: 145231
Caption: Do you ever wonder whether you ever wonder? Stop it. I once thought I thoughts, but now I'm not sure I think I think. Stop it. I'm just saying, how do we know our thoughts are our own and not placed in our heads by a higher power? Aren't you the least bit curious about the curiosity known as "curiosity"? Stop it.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-25 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-25 Pub. Date: 2016-06-25
Image Number: 144902
Caption: Sir, I just found out Gary earns 15% more than I do. I'd like an explanation. Well, it's simple, Garcia: Gary has a wife to support. You don't. That's why he's paid more.. Seriously, sir? That explanations the worst. But earlier you said you'd "like" it. You lied. And you wonder why Gary's paid more.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-21 wonder 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-21 Pub. Date: 2015-12-21
Image Number: 136828
Caption: Vancouver said she's down for our double date next week, Susan. That's good. Mr. B said he's looking forward to it too. "Mister B"? You call the guy "Mister B"? What's up with that? He calls me "Miss G." It's just a little thing we do. I wonder if our little things are as disgusting as YOUR little things. We only do that when we're rubbing noses.
     
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