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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-03 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163535
Caption: The Search is on for Tom Price Replacement. C'mon, we've got binders of sadistic doctors. Look harder! But we need someone who has no regard for the taxpayer' loves or their money. Most of these doctors are normal decent people … What is wrong with them? I think we have to face it. We may never find another Tom Price. Drat the luck ... Not as easy as you think ... Wait a minute ... Here's a possibility. Males, creepy, really, no really, very. Do not re-cycle.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-21 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-21 Pub. Date: 2017-07-21
Image Number: 160779
Caption: Who's' Gonna Own the Failure if Obamacare Fails to Fail? Hmmm? Well, I'm not gonna own it, and the Republican party is not gonna own it. That leaves who? Obama, right? Mnphm.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-07-02 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 160136
Caption: Trump Will Send Federal Police to Help Chicago. Who sent you? The president sent us. Yeah? Well we don't want nobody nobody sent …
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-23 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-23 Pub. Date: 2017-06-23
Image Number: 159701
Caption: Who Objected to Trump's visit to England? The Queen? No … I had no objections. I think your hat is lovely.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-13 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-13 Pub. Date: 2017-04-13
Image Number: 157172
Caption: NATO No Longer Obsolete. Obsolete? This fine vehicle? Who told you that? Some cheap politician? Don's Used Cars. Hey! Your credit stinks? So does mine. Cream puff! Money talks, nobody walks. 1993 NATO. No longer obsolete. Amazing.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-01 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-01 Pub. Date: 2017-04-01
Image Number: 156638
Caption: A Reminder to All Who Think Baseball Can Only be Played by Millionaires. You can Actually Play Baseball Yourself With Some Friends. It's Quite a Lot of Fun.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-28 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-28 Pub. Date: 2017-02-28
Image Number: 155258
Caption: Jobs for Americans. We've kicked out all those Mexicans who were stealing American jobs. So what would you like to do? Shovel chicken guts or pick grapes in the broiling sun? Please wait. What difference does a few years make? Il Douchey. Trump Job Service.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-16 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154707
Caption: General Flynn's Job Said To Be in Jeopardy. Heil! Maybe Stephen Miller has the right idea … It worked for Goebbels. Who?
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-07 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-07 Pub. Date: 2017-02-07
Image Number: 154421
Caption: Syria. Hurry … before Trump finds a judge who needs a favor. USA.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-28 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-28 Pub. Date: 2017-01-28
Image Number: 154123
Caption: Señor Spicer Explains About the Wall. Ok, who will pay for the wall? Ok, that will be the Mexican government. Ok, not, actually - there will be some sort of tax. Well, not exactly a tax, but more like a fee. Ok, not a fee, but a sort of thing at the border. Ok, not exactly a thing, but sort of a concept. Actually an idea, right, well, and idea that is based on a whatchamacallit so that we get some money somewhere and nobody notices ... Feliz Na Idad.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-18 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153620
Caption: Former British Spy Who Wrote the Dossier on Trump and the Russians Has Gone into Hiding in Fear for His Life. Excuse me squire, are you Christopher Steele who wrote that thing about Trump and the Russians, and is now in hiding in fear for his life? 'Cause if you are the wife and I would like to buy you a drink. Keep Clam (wot?)
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-05 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-05 Pub. Date: 2017-01-05
Image Number: 153268
Caption: T. Julian Assange! What are you doing here? Actually I'm not here. I just seem to have appeared so I can back up insults to the CIA which I have always wanted to do anyway. Don't worry, dear. He's still in that Ecuadorean thing in London … If he's a problem I'll just deny everything. It's easy. Watch ... Julian who?? T.
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-22 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-22 Pub. Date: 2016-12-22
Image Number: 152614
Caption: Mr. Trump's Friends Like the Swamp. Drain the swamp? What are you talking about? We like the swamp … Did I say drain the swamp? Did I say that? Ok, I did say it … but I didn't mean it. I just said it. I thought I heard you say it. See? You thought you heard him say it. You thought ... Who cares? What's he saying now?
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-12-19 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-12-19 Pub. Date: 2016-12-19
Image Number: 152523
Caption: Who's Running What. Mr. Tillerson will run the State Department. Mr. Mnuchin will run the Treasury. General Mattis will run Defense. Senator Sessions will run Justice. Dr. Carson will run HUD. Rick Perry will run the Department of Energy. Leaving Mr. Trump free to run ... his mouth.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-29 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151729
Caption: What About Those Two Million More People Who Voted for Clinton? Darling don't feel bad … obviously they were all illegal voters … Now, bo de wee nosey …
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-28 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151728
Caption: It's safe to get out of bed, grampa! Look who's back! Jeff Sessions to be AG. Not Very Brite Bart. Ammo. Debbie Does Dallas. VHS. Holy Bible.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-06 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-06 Pub. Date: 2016-09-06
Image Number: 148406
Caption: Secretary Kerry in the Mideast. Ok, who wants peace? Peace? Let's see a show of hands for peace Mines. Cluster bombs.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-03 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-03 Pub. Date: 2016-09-03
Image Number: 148404
Caption: The Mission. Ok, bomb the YPG buy make it look like the PKK are being backed by the KDP not the PUK, unless you can support the PKK and make the YPG think Turkey is backing the PUK-backed KDP, who think that we are supporting the Turkey-backed anti-Kurdish pro-Russian forces, fighting the Syrian rebels loyal to you-know-who and whathisname from Ramalamastan ... And if you are killed or captured the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your mission ... USAF.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-22 who 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-22 Pub. Date: 2016-08-22
Image Number: 147842
Caption: Kellyanne Conway, Dog Trainer. Was it you who did poop on the carpet? Was it? Hmmm? I think it was. Well, what are we going to do about that? Hmmm? What? Are we going to apologize? Are we going to say we're sorry? Are we going to say we are very sorry we were a bad dog? Are we? I think we are. Oh yes ... I think we are.
     
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