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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-24 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160757
Caption: I'm glad you're not mad at me, Lemont. Why would I be mad at you, Susan? You didn't make me accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me just because she had an innocent dinner with some other guy. Sure, you sent me the video and warned me it was too painful to watch, so I sprung it on her sight-unseen and it turned out to be nothing ... and sure, you forgot to tell me they didn't leave together or exchange numbers ... And sure, you almost single-handedly wrecked one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life ... Well, I'm just glad you're no mad, old buddy. And sure ...
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-15 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-15 Pub. Date: 2017-07-15
Image Number: 160224
Caption: Lemont, it's Susan. I have bad news to tell you. Can it wait? Divided Airlines tossed me out of the plane to make room for one of their employees. I suspect they were actually Russian spied, but that's not important right now. When you called, I was watching a youtube video about how to grab ahold of an albatross and ride it to safety. Youtube has everything. I know, right? Excuse me ... what does "employee has pet" mean?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-12 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-12 Pub. Date: 2017-03-12
Image Number: 154859
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I think I'm done watching "The Flash." You know, the superhero who can run faster than a bullet. I just saw the episode where he has to fight someone who could teleport. But she could only teleport if she could see where she was going. After the Flash figured that out, he did all these things to limit her field of vision. He ran all around knocking out street lights, for instance. He did all sorts of things to make sure she couldn't see. All sorts of things ... except putting a bag over the villain's head. Well that would've been a pretty short episode. I'd rather have five minutes of brilliance than 45 minutes of not putting a bag over the villain's head.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-06 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-06 Pub. Date: 2017-01-06
Image Number: 152859
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who don't take care of theyselves an' don't watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-18 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-18 Pub. Date: 2016-08-18
Image Number: 147388
Caption: Susan's out of town next week. Momma's got plans. My old boss is going to be on a fishing trip. My mailman is going to be eloping in Vegas. The corner hobo is going to be out of town at a convention. Ok, now I'm feelin' a little less honored that you asked me to watch yo' son for you. Just don't tattoo him like you did my goldfish.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-10 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-10 Pub. Date: 2016-07-10
Image Number: 144955
Caption: Let's watch "Lou Grant" on Hulu. "Lou Grant"? Ain't that that show your momma used to watch when we was kids? Yeah. I ran out of things to watch, so I figured I'd finally check out some of the shows that bored me to death when I was young. It was really depressing. If it was depressin', why you wanna watch it? I mean it's depressing how good it is. Our parents' generation had writers and actors who knew how to use mature, flawed characters to tell stories that really examined human nature in all its intricacies. And it's set in a major newspaper back when they were still widely read and mostly family-owned, and saw what they did as a calling. When I think of all the time I wasted watching "Sesame Street" when I could've watched this ... I don't watch nothin' older than the milk in my fridge, bruh. That's policy.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-07 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144220
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of stepping out in her with her mother. I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! Lie detector results are in, and they show that you Ö DID have relations with her mother. Sometimes you just need a break from the stupidity of the Donald Trump elections. Shh! They 'bout to say it Brian's son also be Brian' brother-in-law.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-25 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-25 Pub. Date: 2016-03-25
Image Number: 140812
Caption: Harrison Ford gonna play Indiana Jones again. He gonna be 77 years old. That mean the movie gonna have to be set in the 1980s. They already done found everything by the eighties. What there was for an archaeologist to do in the eighties? I'll tell you what: In 1984, archaeologists found a sunk slave ship called the "Whydah Gally." The '80s story I'm picturin' got it all: jheri curls, leg warmers, an' 200 ticked off slave ghosts bent on revenge. That's ... wait, I'd watch the heck out of that.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-14 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138656
Caption: I put spyware on my son's computer. Last night, I saw what he's been looking at. Now I feel so guilty. He was watching dozens of Youtube videos detailing the theory that Jar Jar Binks was actually the most powerful evil Jedi in all of "Star Wars." I watched them all. They showed clips from the prequels where Jar Jar was clearly using the Jedi mind trick to manipulate everyone around him. Isaac Asimov was a huge "Star Wars" inspiration. These videos pointed out how Binks is eerily similar to a deceptively buffoonish character named "The Mule" in Asimov's "Foundation" series. It's undeniable. Jar Jar was the real "Phantom Menace," and Lucas must've abandoned that whole idea when we all jumped down his throat about the character. So ... you feel guilty for spying on your child since he wasn't doing anything wrong? I feel guilty for giving George Lucas such a hard time about Phantom Menace. The man was a genius.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-10 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-10 Pub. Date: 2015-09-10
Image Number: 132204
Caption: You didn't watch Donald Trump's press conference, did you? Which one you mean? You mean the press conference where you got up an' asked him why he think the KKK Like him so much Ö an' he had his bodyguard pick you up by your underpants an' throw you out? THAT press conference? I'm ruined. Nah, I ain't seen that, bruh.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-12 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-12 Pub. Date: 2015-04-12
Image Number: 124956
Caption: I read the government's using planes to spy on our cellphones. I think it's funny people care about that #$%@. The government been spyin' on me all my life, and didn't nobody care 'bout that. What do you mean? I step out my front door, the police watch from they car. If I walk by a cop, he ask what I got in my jeans. If I walk to 7-Eleven, the police ask where I'm goin'. When I get there, the security guard follow me around the store. Didn't nobody care about "government surveillance" when they thought it only happened to me. Where was Edward Snowman when cops was feelin' me up? Technically, security guards aren't the government.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-08 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-08 Pub. Date: 2015-03-08
Image Number: 123395
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I think I'm done watching "The Flash." You know, the superhero who can run faster than a bullet. I just saw the episode where he had to fight someone who could teleport. But she could only teleport if she could see where she's going. After the flash figured that out, he did all these things to limit her field of vision. He ran all around knocking out street lights, for instance. He did all sorts of things to make sure she couldn't see. All sorts of things ... except putting a bag over the villain's head. Well that would've been a pretty short episode. I'd rather have five minutes of brilliance than 45 minutes of not putting a bag over the villain's head.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-14 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-14 Pub. Date: 2014-12-14
Image Number: 119508
Caption: Mommy caught me watching The Cosby Show and other old sitcoms and she flipped out. What does "I haven't done a criminal background check on Mr. Drummond yet" mean?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-12-06 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-12-06 Pub. Date: 2014-12-06
Image Number: 119646
Caption: I feel like a burrito right now, Clyde. You can't have no burrito, Big L. You a single dad raisin' a two-year-old baby. What'll happen to him if you drop dead of a heart attack? Parents who donít take care of theyselves an' donít watch they carbs an minerals an' such is selfish. Whatever. Give me back my burrito, Clyde. Somebody gotta look out for the children.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-13 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-13 Pub. Date: 2014-03-13
Image Number: 108530
Caption: Susan's out of town next week. Momma's got plans. My old boss is going to be on a fishing trip. My mailman is going to be eloping in Vegas. The corner hobo is going to be out of town at a convention. Ok, now I'm feelin' a little less honored that you asked me to watch yo' son for you. Just don't tattoo him like you did my goldfish.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-05 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-05 Pub. Date: 2013-06-05
Image Number: 97640
Caption: Studies show that channel-flipping leads to attention deficit disorder. Click. Thug 4 Life. This side up. In other news, what you're doing right now is likely to kill you if you donít stop right this instant. Click. Find out more after the break. Click. Studies show that channel-flipping leads to ... Something or other ... I don't recall. Back to you, Wolf.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-30 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-30 Pub. Date: 2013-05-30
Image Number: 97402
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." I ain't the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! Hold on Ö Let's find out. We have the results of the paternity test. You in trouble now! Brian, in the case of Linda's baby, Little Brian Jr, you are. BEEEEEEP! This is the Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program to say "Are you really watching this #$%?"
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-19 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-19 Pub. Date: 2012-05-19
Image Number: 80980
Caption: Melvin in 4F got a flat screen. Wanna come over an' watch the Amazing Spider-man bootleg? No thanks, I wanna see it in 3-D. I don't know them, but if they out we can break in. What? What? Thug 4 Life. Thug 4 Life. Thug 4 Life.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-12-31 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-12-31 Pub. Date: 2011-12-31
Image Number: 74744
Caption: So where is Lionel? I worked out a deal with Wanda, my neighbor. She runs an illegal day care center out of her apartment. She promised to watch Lionel a couple hours a day Ö and I promised not to turn her in. How sweet. We all have to do our part in this new economy.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-04 watch out 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-04 Pub. Date: 2011-09-04
Image Number: 64822
Caption: Couples Sessions Today. Dr. Noodle. I"ve been thinking about how you said men are nonverbal communicators. So, lately I've paying to Ebenezer's body language. Go on. His silence, his distance, his late nights at the office, all forced me to realize I cannot fulfill his needs. In opening the door to leave, he let in the light that illuminated all the roaches in our relationahip. Last week, I paused at the door before leaving with the kids, the dog and my luggage. His refusal to even look away from his baseball game so say goodbye told me he was hurting, and couldn't bear to watch. Ebenezer's courage in reaching out to me in nonverbally has made me fall in love with him all over again. Pate, please get me tix for tonight's game. Yes, Ben ... we can get back together. Wait ... we broke up?
     
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