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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about wars and warring.

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-08 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-08 Pub. Date: 2015-11-08
Image Number: 134166
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other like that. It was different times. Don't judge. What were we talking about, again? You were ordering the gentle flower chamomile tea.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-02 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-02 Pub. Date: 2015-11-02
Image Number: 134797
Caption: Did you see the "Star Wars" trailer? O … M … G!!! I'm avoiding it like the plague, little buddy. I saw the prequels. I won't get fooled again. You don't know what you're missing! This trailer is like fifty times more exciting and satisfying than all three prequels combined! In fact, I've just posted my own cut of the movie on YouTube. I just copied and pasted the trailer 90 times in Final Cut, so it repeats for two hours. It's already got 7 million views. George Lucas must need a hug right now.
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-02 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-02 Pub. Date: 2015-10-02
Image Number: 133161
Caption: Did you just say "I'm stuck with a sand person and a rabbi head"? I did. I was dating a rabbi who was really into "Star Wars," so I got this great idea for a first date. I took her to this guy I know who makes bobbleheads while you wait. You've got a "bobblehead guy"? What kind of conniving Lothario has a "bobblehead guy"? The successful kind.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-22 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-22 Pub. Date: 2015-06-22
Image Number: 128752
Caption: Hi, this is Jeb. Jeb who? I'm officially announcing that I'm running for president. Jeb who? Let's not talk about the past. Mistakes were made. Nobody could've foreseen how Iraq would turn out. I'm my own man. I'm proud of my family. House of Java Cybercafe. Then why aren't you mentioning your last name? That's not important right now.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-21 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-21 Pub. Date: 2015-06-21
Image Number: 127850
Caption: Krycek, totally. No way. Lando, my friend. Lando. There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek. Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is. That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day. Stop! When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about. That Krycek. Oh, how I hated him. Stop!!! Krycek wasn't fit to comb Lando Calrissian's mustache.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-19 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-19 Pub. Date: 2015-03-19
Image Number: 124317
Caption: Father, if Google and Apple compete, to whom should I show allegiance? We are mere mortals. We cannot pretend to understand the meaning of this war. Perhaps it is like Zeus vs. Godzilla, or Terminator vs the Hobbit. Or even the force from Star Wars vs. the sentient tree from the planet Pandora. I have no idea what you're saying. My point. It's beyond our understanding. Computer Villa Customer Service.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-18 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-18 Pub. Date: 2015-03-18
Image Number: 124316
Caption: Please help, I'm in turmoil. What is it, my son? Apple and Google are competing vigorously. Yes, the war of the patron saints. As it was foretold. What? You knew this was going to happen?! I read analyst reports. I'm not a dolt. Computer Villa.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-05 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-05 Pub. Date: 2015-03-05
Image Number: 123747
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Brian Williams said he wrongly remembered being shot down over Iraq, and reporters who were there are saying Bill O'Reilly's really exaggerated his experiences during the Falklands War. What do you think of that? THEY'RE LIARS!!! But it's nothing new. Even Edward R. Murrow lied about being in World War II. I have it on good authority he filed all his "battlefield" reports from a love nest in the Swiss Alps, while I - I mean, while an unknown buxom beauty massaged his toes.
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-11 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-11 Pub. Date: 2015-02-11
Image Number: 122754
Caption: America's a great place. But you know what it doesn't have? Moscow? Wrong. No, I'm pretty sure Moscow isn't in the United States. Unless you count that city in Idaho. But you have to wonder why people in the "Heartland" didn't change the name during the Cold War. Why do they call the middle the "Heartland" when the heart is on the left side of the chest? America doesn't have focus, is what I was going to say.
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-08 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-08 Pub. Date: 2015-02-08
Image Number: 121926
Caption: The Afghanistan war officially ended one month ago. The "Af-What-Istan what" did what? What? That's what I asked you. I said, the Afghanistan war ended. You know, the war we've been fighting for the last thirteen years! We've been fighting a war for the last 13 years? That's odd ... I don't know anyone who was in it. Did we win? Holy Moses. Woulda been cool if it had kept going for 101 years, then it would be a world record. You're the best argument there is for bringing back the draft. "Draft"? You mean beer?
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-17 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-17 Pub. Date: 2015-01-17
Image Number: 121464
Caption: You ever wonder what the world would be like if Lincoln had lived? Stop! I'm tired of everyone trying to blame my great-grandmother for what happened! I mean, sure, she could've let J.W. Booth down easy, instead of mocking and taunting him until the shame made him snap. But blaming her for what happened hours later is just unfair! The history books are so incomplete. She always got blamed for everything. Like the time she set off a firecracker at Fort Sumter. How was she to know?
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-21 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-21 Pub. Date: 2014-12-21
Image Number: 119729
Caption: Are you a "Star Wars" fan, good sir? Who isn't? I would like to propose a small wager. Ask me any question about Star Wars. Any question at all … and if I answer with 100% accuracy, I will win a free coffee and scone per day, for an entire year. Interesting. And what do I get if you answer wrong? You get this laptop computer. It's fully functional, except for a slight catastrophic logic board failure. Deal. Sucker. Here's the question: what was I wearing when I saw 'Empire Strikes Back' in the theater in 1980? Huh? What was I wearing, smart guy? Underpants. Ha! Nice try, but I always wore my Underoos OVER my pants!
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-11-21 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-11-21 Pub. Date: 2014-11-21
Image Number: 119146
Caption: All you young people keep whining about the country being "divided." You don’t know what "divided" is. Grandmother Cohen was a general in the Union army. Her sister was a confederate general. They didn’t let women fight in the civil war. Of course not. But as luck would have it, GREAT grandmother Cohen was the best fake-beard-maker in the land. Nobody ever dared ask "Stonewall Jackson" why "he" often wore his hair in a bun. The history books always leave out the best parts.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-03 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-03 Pub. Date: 2014-10-03
Image Number: 117142
Caption: You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don’t want me getting hurt in the war? I just don’t think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the world lightweight champion of thumb wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-11 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-11 Pub. Date: 2014-08-11
Image Number: 114987
Caption: All those broken cease-fires between the Israelis and the Palestinians take me way back. I once lived with a girl who'd break up with me once a week. We'd break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over and over again. We couldn’t live together but each of us thought we had a right to that apartment, so we fought over it for a long time. It's more complicated than that. Maybe Israel should try leaving Palestine and moving in with her sister. I don't even know what that means.
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-20 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113257
Caption: You've been avoiding me. Have not, Uncle Mort. For weeks, you've been dashing out of rooms as soon as I entered. Coincidence. What about when I knocked on your door yesterday and you jumped out the back window? Look, Uncle Mort, I just didn’t want to go through what I went through in 1994. I was just going to say one thing about the 20th anniversary of the OJ Simpson "trial of the century." YOU WOULD THINK THE "TRIAL OF THE CENTURY" WOULD'VE BEEN THE NUREMBERG TRIALS!
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-10 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-10 Pub. Date: 2014-07-10
Image Number: 113516
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Were you ever young? If so, what was it like for you? -Grandma Pat. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Awful and typical. I experienced wild hormone swings, had crazy flings with key members of the Roosevelt administration, indirectly caused two world wars and, in a drunken rage, destroyed evidence of alien landings in Roswell. The usual stuff. Getting old is worse. I don't want to hear about it.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-26 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-26 Pub. Date: 2014-06-26
Image Number: 112982
Caption: How many people in history do you think have died fighting over lines someone drew on a map? Occupiers have often forced people who are polar opposites to live in one artificial "country." Iraq … Ethiopia … Yugoslavia … The United States … But then if we only lived in countries made up of people who agree with us, Earth would have 7 billion countries. I disagree.
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-06-25 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-06-25 Pub. Date: 2014-06-25
Image Number: 112981
Caption: 4,489 American troops lost their lives in Iraq, and thousands were seriously wounded for life. Some accounts say half a million Iraqis died because of the war. But you know what? If it turns out they all sacrificed in vain, then that's the most powerful reminder there is that wars of choice do not end well. ... In which case they did NOT sacrifice in vain. I've forgotten what you just said.
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-30 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-30 Pub. Date: 2014-04-30
Image Number: 110791
Caption: I think the best thing about this whole Russia stuff is the movies. Interesting hypothesis. Think about it: the best action movies we ever had were the cold war ones, like "Wargames," "The Manchurian Candidate," "The Day After," etc … They were doubly cool because we had the added thrill of not knowing whether the real-life Russia would blow us to smithereens before the credits rolled. I'm thinking of pitching a sequel to "The Day After." It's called "And The Day After That." I'd like to amend my earlier statement.
     
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