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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about wars and warring.

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41. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-23 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-23 Pub. Date: 2016-03-23
Image Number: 140828
Caption: What were you doing during the Iraq war, Randy? What are you talking about? We knew each other back then. That was like 10 or 13 years ago. You can't expect me to remember every little detail about something that happened so long ago. I regularly delete old memory files to make room for all the new data constantly coming my way via Facebook, tweets, Instagram, etc. I wish I didn't have to do that. I wish I could just expand my storage by sticking a flash drive in my nose. Why don't you try? Maybe it'll work.
     
42. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-09 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-09 Pub. Date: 2016-02-09
Image Number: 138884
Caption: The president's sending heavy weapons to Europe to counter Russia. Do you know what this means, Randy? It means there's still a chance I'll live to see the postapocalyptic world the movies promised me when I was a kid. I'll get to drive buggies around deserts, play hide and seek with mutant barbarians in the ruins of major cities ... You think it'll be hard to charge my phone in the postapocalypse? Probably, since it'll be melted into your hand.
     
43. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-04 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-04 Pub. Date: 2016-02-04
Image Number: 138613
Caption: You haven't started eating that yet, have you? Not falling for it. I don't ask for any particular reason. … Say … I have a totally unrelated question … You do have health insurance … right? Not falling for it. I ask for no particular reason. If the Luftwaffe couldn't scare me, you never will.
     
44. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-02 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-02 Pub. Date: 2016-02-02
Image Number: 138611
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What'll it mean if Trump ends up winning? Excellent question. It reminds me of questions very few people asked 80 years ago when Mussolini came to power in Italy. Other questions that went unasked back then: "Is sucking down smoke all day long bad for me?" "Is it a bad idea to buy radioactive beauty cream?" "Is cocaine really the best remedy for indigestion?!" People sure were dumb back then.
     
45. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-22 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-22 Pub. Date: 2016-01-22
Image Number: 137966
Caption: Hi, this is Martin O'Malley. Marty! I haven't heard from you since the Battle of the Bulge! No, no … I'm the Martin O'Malley who's running for president. You always were a kidder, Marty. I'm not "Marty"! I'm the former Governor of Maryland. I'm running for the Democratic nomination. I'm calling to tell you I'd love to have your vote. House of Java Cybercafe. Remember when you convinced General Patton you were his long-lost love-child? You always were a rascal. How's Trixie? I don't ... (Sigh) Fine. She's fine. Gotta go.
     
46. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-19 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-19 Pub. Date: 2016-01-19
Image Number: 137963
Caption: SPOILER ALERT! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about "Star Wars." You don't have to say "spoiler alert," minion. It's been a month. Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive. In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences. Um ... never mind.
     
47. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-18 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-18 Pub. Date: 2016-01-18
Image Number: 137962
Caption: I've decided to change the way I Twitter-slam "Star Wars: The Force Awakens." Pointing out plot holes that aren't really plot holes is the latest trend online. I've been tweeting "It's the same story as the original" even though it's not. That was fun. But that critique is so last month. I still don't think "If Rey's the protagonist, why did Monopoly leave her out of the board game" is a "plot hole." And since when has Luke been old?
     
48. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-30 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-30 Pub. Date: 2015-12-30
Image Number: 137200
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Star Wars." Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. YOU PEOPLE TODAY HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A CHIMPANZEE!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said.
     
49. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-29 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-29 Pub. Date: 2015-12-29
Image Number: 137199
Caption: I witnessed something I can never unsee. What happened, little buddy? Some guy walking out of the "Star Wars" premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show. A bunch of fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him. I don't think I can ever unsee five Ewoks and a slave Leia beating a Wookie senseless with plastic light sabers. The Wookie had it coming.
     
50. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-25 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-25 Pub. Date: 2015-12-25
Image Number: 136906
Caption: It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. Yeah, how come you haven't said "Merry Christmas" yet? Oh, that's because I was hoping to provoke every who's upset about the so-called "war on Christmas" to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don't think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace. You're welcome, America. Why haven't you played "Jingle Bells" yet?
     
51. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-23 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-23 Pub. Date: 2015-12-23
Image Number: 136904
Caption: You asked to see me, boss? Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here. I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7. Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind what you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the café for royalties. Daaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa ... daaaa ... duh-duh-duh ... wait, what? If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun.
     
52. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-22 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-22 Pub. Date: 2015-12-22
Image Number: 136903
Caption: The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Star Wars.' I don't want to hear it. An alpha doesn't care to hear the opinions of anonymous strangers on the internet. People are more likely to post ill-considered nonsense if their real names aren't attached to their words. Juiceman842 tweeted the opposite the other day. Proves my point.
     
53. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-21 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-21 Pub. Date: 2015-12-21
Image Number: 136902
Caption: You never told me what you thought of 'Star Wars.' I was waiting. For what? For the consensus. My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict. If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid.
     
54. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-18 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-18 Pub. Date: 2015-12-18
Image Number: 136617
Caption: Boss, I've come down with something. I need the day off. That "something" wouldn't be Star Wars tickets, would it? "Star Wars"? What's "Star Wars"? I'm really sick. Cough. Cough. Oh … Who am I to stand in the way of a huge corporation suckering people into paying lots of money to see something they've basically seen dozens of times before. Thanks, boss! Bring me some seriously overpriced popcorn.
     
55. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-17 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-17 Pub. Date: 2015-12-17
Image Number: 136616
Caption: Tomorrow's the day. I've been waiting in line for "Star Wars" for two months now. What on earth are you talking about, little buddy? Well, it's not exactly me. It's a kid I paid, he's holding my spot. Wait … please tell me you didn't pay a kid to not go home for two months. It doesn't sound so good the way you say it.
     
56. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-11 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-11 Pub. Date: 2015-12-11
Image Number: 136283
Caption: Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move. And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty. This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day. No way any movie can live up to this hype. Star-Wars-Day is almost upon us. We are about to embark upon the great crusade ...
     
57. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-27 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-27 Pub. Date: 2015-11-27
Image Number: 135703
Caption: Happy Black Friday Day, my friend. What? "Black Friday Day." It's the day we celebrate the most sacred of American holidays. By camping outside a big store and then stampeding inside and punching whoever first grabs the tv. That sounds like a lot of bunk to me, little buddy. That's because you're part of the war on Black Friday Day.
     
58. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-13 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-13 Pub. Date: 2015-11-13
Image Number: 135086
Caption: When you get to be my age, you start to notice certain patterns in the river of history. You start to notice, for instance, that the winner always loses. What's that mean? Every great power defines itself as the opposite of its main enemy. Once that enemy is defeated, the great power loses its virtues, its unity ... even its identity. The great power then either creates new enemies, or it fades into history. (Yawn) Old people talk a lot. What I'm saying is, you were not my first "Rudy Park," and you will not be my last.
     
59. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-12 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-12 Pub. Date: 2015-11-12
Image Number: 135085
Caption: Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.
     
60. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-09 war 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-09 Pub. Date: 2015-11-09
Image Number: 135082
Caption: Your new band is called Screaming Asterisk? Where'd you come up with that? Watching Star Wars. When Luke's x-wing fighter made it's attack-run at the Death Star, it looked like a screaming asterisk. I narrowed it down to either that or "Twirling Pizza." Wait ... don't tell me ... the Millennium Falcon dodging laser-fire. "Metal Bikini" was in the running, but it was just way too obvious.
     
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