It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. Yeah, how come you haven't said "Merry Christmas" yet? Oh, that's because I was hoping to provoke every who's upset about the so-called "war on Christmas" to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don't think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace. You're welcome, America. Why haven't you played "Jingle Bells" yet?
Happy Black Friday Day, my friend. What? "Black Friday Day." It's the day we celebrate the most sacred of American holidays. By camping outside a big store and then stampeding inside and punching whoever first grabs the tv. That sounds like a lot of bunk to me, little buddy. That's because you're part of the war on Black Friday Day.