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Dustin

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1. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-10-06 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-10-06 Pub. Date: 2017-10-06
Image Number: 163149
Caption: The girl I'm sitting next to is killing me. I told her I wanted to be an electrical engineer … and she said she's glad I want to drive a train that doesn't burn fossil fuels. Wait --- so you want to drive a hybrid train instead? The guy I'm sitting next to is killing me.
     
2. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-28 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-28 Pub. Date: 2017-09-28
Image Number: 162905
Caption: American Ninja Warrior? Contestants compete on ridiculously difficult obstacle courses. One mistake and you plummet into a trough of water. I want to try out, but how am I supposed to practice? I need monkey bars, a rope to swing on, a giant warped wall to climb ... The neighbors have a swimming pool you could practice falling into.
     
3. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-14 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-14 Pub. Date: 2017-09-14
Image Number: 162399
Caption: Oh, look at this photo on Facebook. Do I look like that in real life? Do I look like I want to sleep on this couch tonight?
     
4. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-13 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-13 Pub. Date: 2017-09-13
Image Number: 162398
Caption: We should paint the baseboards … They look worn. Great idea … How about white, like it is now, just to freshen things up? Okay. So, do we want ivory, moon glow, arctic ice or snowy egret? Um … Do they have white. Our choices for the finish are flat, eggshell, satin, semi-gloss or gloss. On second thought, the scuff marks add character.
     
5. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-02 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-02 Pub. Date: 2017-09-02
Image Number: 161865
Caption: Your mother just texted me a picture of a dress. I don't know what she wants me to say. Just text an emoji you know she'd like … That's brilliant -- Those emoji are meaningless. There. I sent a smiling serving of chocolate sogt-serve ice cream. Boop. How come it doesn't have a cone?
     
6. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-09-01 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 161864
Caption: Spider. In the bathroom. I want you to take it outside. Are you sure you can't just … It's huge. Ok, ok. I'll handle it. Whoa. I told you. Are you going to get a bigger glass. I was going to call animal control.
     
7. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-30 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-30 Pub. Date: 2017-08-30
Image Number: 161862
Caption: Youtube keeps asking me if I want to try a paid subscription. Why would anybody do that? There are no ads with a subscriptions, so it saves time. If people were worried about wasting time, they wouldn't be on Youtube.
     
8. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-27 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161362
Caption: Breep breep. You know, I read that in South Korea they're working on a horn that makes the sound of a quacking duck. Seriously? A quacking duck? Researchers found that ordinary car horns contribute too much environmental noise, especially in congested cities. So, after a lot of experimenting, they determined the best sound is that of a quacking duck. You have got to be kidding ... I mean, if they really wanted to help ... They'd develop a horn that yells at the guy in front of you, "put your phone down - the light's green now!"
     
9. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-05 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 160926
Caption: Did you get the lantana? Um … no, sweetheart. Ed, I told you I want to plant some lantana. It's all I asked you to get while I picked up all of these other things! I'm very sorry, sweetheart. Sorry?! One item, Ed! One item! And you can't remember it? I remembered Helen ... but the solar panel pitch guy is stationed by the plants today. Oh. Okay. We can come back tomorrow.
     
10. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-31 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-31 Pub. Date: 2017-07-31
Image Number: 160921
Caption: When do you want it? I'm heading out of town. Can I pick everything up tomorrow or Wednesday? Nifty Cleaners. I can do Friday after five. So why did you ask? I was hoping you wanted Friday after five.
     
11. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-26 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-26 Pub. Date: 2017-07-26
Image Number: 160575
Caption: So you want me to go on a diet and start exercising every day. That's right. Because I need to lose ten pounds. I want you to get your body mass index down to 30. Diet. Exercise. Either that or get six inches taller.
     
12. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-07-11 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-07-11 Pub. Date: 2017-07-11
Image Number: 160040
Caption: I'm buying underwear online. Okay. What do you think of these bikini briefs for me? Absolutely not. You don't think they're kind of -- Nope. I just want to point out these are Amazon's choice for me. Amazon doesn't have to share a room with you.
     
13. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-28 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-28 Pub. Date: 2017-06-28
Image Number: 159506
Caption: I don't like shopping online because I don't want my credit card information on an internet-enabled device. All used books $2 - $5. So I actually go to the store to make my purchase … where my credit card information goes onto someone else's internet-enabled device.
     
14. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-27 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-27 Pub. Date: 2017-06-27
Image Number: 159505
Caption: All this bad news makes me want to quit reading the paper. That's ridiculous. You can't blame the messenger. Are you going to boycott the bathroom scale? I'm not really crazy about that scale … Fake news?
     
15. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-03 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-03 Pub. Date: 2017-06-03
Image Number: 158405
Caption: Your mother won't wear a dress after someone's posted a picture of her wearing it on Facebook. She doesn't want to be seen in the same dress at two different events. Whoa. That could get expensive. Tell me about it: Either she's going to have to quit social media ... or I'm going to have to learn Photoshop.
     
16. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-21 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-21 Pub. Date: 2017-05-21
Image Number: 157605
Caption: Helen says I either need to go on a diet or buy more life insurance. Ha! That's direct. So she's worried about your health and wants you around for a while. Exactly. Did anyone save room for dessert? Ed, who on earth are you calling? My insurance agent.
     
17. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-17 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-17 Pub. Date: 2017-05-17
Image Number: 157869
Caption: Hi, I recently won eight weeks with a personal trainer at a fundraiser. Great! I'm Mindy. When do you want to come in? Well, Mindy, I'm a lawyer, and it turns out the only free time I have is Fridays at 7 p.m. Perfect. I can't catch a break.
     
18. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-16 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-16 Pub. Date: 2017-05-16
Image Number: 157868
Caption: You bid $300 on a personal trainer for me? You said you wanted to help Meg's school. 7-Day Cruise. And you love a bargain. Eight weeks with a personal trainer should cost twice that. I know, Helen. But what if we win? DHS Silent Auction.
     
19. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-15 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 157867
Caption: The money goes to Meg's school. I guess we should look at the silent auction. I already bid $300 on eight weeks with a personal trainer. Seriously? You really want a personal trainer? It's not for me.
     
20. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-04-27 want 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157075
Caption: Level with me, Simone. What are my prospects? I want the unvarnished truth. Your work ethic is appalling, and your references are all negative. You behave like a pre-teen, so your employment history reads like Peter Pan on a pogo stick. Could we try that again with just a touch of varnish?
     
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