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Rudy Park

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-15 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-15 Pub. Date: 2016-04-15
Image Number: 141818
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-bert … He'd tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-10 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-10 Pub. Date: 2016-04-10
Image Number: 140929
Caption: The fad herald cometh. I've been meaning to ask him it's too late to grow a lumberjack beard. Hear ye, hear ye. The following is OUT: The last vestiges of civility in politics. The following are now IN: Name-calling, tantrum-throwing, and comparing … um ... hand sizes during debates. Also IN: Bullying, mocking, threatening, kicking, beating, stomping and other assorted hallmarks of authoritarian movements. Also in: Taking selfies while getting bullied, mocked, threatened, kicked, beaten or stomped, and uploading then to Youtube. Uploading them to Facebook is out. I disagree with that. Stop him!!! I'd like to punch him in the face.
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-20 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-20 Pub. Date: 2016-03-20
Image Number: 139970
Caption: What can I get you? I'll have a mocha, a scone, and an explanation of Beyonce's "Formation" video. Ok. Would you like that for here or to go? Here would be good. Ok. Last month, Beyonce released a music video that expressed pride in her black heritage. Pride in black culture, pride in black physical features, pride even in the Black Panther movement. The reason this is ok is, for centuries, mainstream culture has been telling black people to be ashamed of all that. They've been told to straighten their hair, talk differently, and even lighten their skin if they want to look "professional." When the world tells you to be ashamed of who you are, it's ok to say "No, I'm proud of it." That'll be $14.95. Can I also get a side of explaining why it's important that scientists finally discovered gravity waves?
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-07 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-07 Pub. Date: 2016-03-07
Image Number: 140197
Caption: Where would you spend your honeymoon? Skyrim, no contest. First, my lady and I would climb the 1,000 snow-covered steps to the summit of the mountain overlooking High Hrothgar … where we'd witness the distant castle glowing silver and blue in the light of the sunrise ... as several planets hover in the morning sky. Please tell me you're not talking about some place in a video game. I'd have chosen the rolling fields of Mulgore, but that's got too many bloodthirsty orcs.
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-03 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-03 Pub. Date: 2016-03-03
Image Number: 139845
Caption: Guess what else I found on Youtube, Randy? Evidence Vladimir Putin is an immortal. There are two photos of soldiers who look exactly like Putin, taken in 1941 and way back in 1920. Exactly like him. Could be they're related. The notion of "genetics" is a huge conspiracy by the immortals. I found that out on Youtube.
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-12 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-12 Pub. Date: 2016-02-12
Image Number: 138887
Caption: I hope Bernie Sanders wins. We've never had a president like him. We've had cool presidents, awkward presidents, dignified presidents, goofy presidents … but we've never had a curmudgeonly president. How do you know? John Adams looked pretty curmudgeonly. Presidents who were around before film or tv don't count. For all we know, they never even really existed. HOJ. We really should have our own political talk show. Theodore Roosevelt was a little bit curmudgeonly.
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-01-06 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-01-06 Pub. Date: 2016-01-06
Image Number: 137446
Caption: Isn't it amazing how fast public opinion changed? Just a few years ago, most people were clearly against it. Now most people are FOR it. Please tell me you're not talking about how people seem more interested in Playstation than Xbox. This. Changed Everything.
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-16 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-16 Pub. Date: 2015-11-16
Image Number: 135388
Caption: What're you doing for Thanksgiving, little buddy? Having a huge party. It'll be full of turkey, cranberry sauce, wine, eggnog, football, and friends and family who love me dearly. Oh, good. I was afraid you'd be alone all day playing video games. "Turkey Slaughter VI" is no ordinary game. You're coming to my place.
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-02 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-02 Pub. Date: 2015-11-02
Image Number: 134797
Caption: Did you see the "Star Wars" trailer? O … M … G!!! I'm avoiding it like the plague, little buddy. I saw the prequels. I won't get fooled again. You don't know what you're missing! This trailer is like fifty times more exciting and satisfying than all three prequels combined! In fact, I've just posted my own cut of the movie on YouTube. I just copied and pasted the trailer 90 times in Final Cut, so it repeats for two hours. It's already got 7 million views. George Lucas must need a hug right now.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-28 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-28 Pub. Date: 2015-10-28
Image Number: 134465
Caption: How come you never take any of my ideas seriously? I'm a marketing genius. I have a long track record of attracting business in both the residential and commercial sectors. What? When? Where? I've generated hundreds of billions of simoleans in the last 24 years. Wait ... Are you taking about Sim City"? Everything I touch turns to solid gold!
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-24 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-24 Pub. Date: 2015-08-24
Image Number: 131657
Caption: Not cool, little buddy. Not cool. What're you talking about? Someone on Facebook posted a video of themselves making out with a ham sandwich … and you "liked" it. What? How did you know that?! We're Facebook friends. Every time you "like" something, it shows up in my newsfeed. But I thought you could only see my "like" if you've watched the video too. No ... No, I don't think so.
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-15 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-15 Pub. Date: 2015-08-15
Image Number: 131014
Caption: This just in: A sheriff's deputy in Kentucky is being sued over a video posted on Youtube … of him handcuffing a crying third-grader's biceps behind his back in a position most of us may consider torture. The child hadn't committed any crime, but he had displayed symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder and PTSD. Breaking news!!!!! Maybe the police ARE a tad out of control. Some say the child brought it on himself by having a disability.
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-13 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-13 Pub. Date: 2015-08-13
Image Number: 131012
Caption: Ask Sadie™ Dear Sadie, What do you think about what's going on with Planned Parenthood: How they were caught on tape talking about money they get for selling fetal tissue? Please tell me you're as outraged about it as I am.* - Bernard from Brea. *Actual reader question. I am. I'm especially outraged that the scientists are using the tissue to research treatments for horrible diseases. In my day, if you got a horrible disease, you died. And you were glad to do it. Ask Sadie at asksadie@rudypark.com.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-12 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-12 Pub. Date: 2015-08-12
Image Number: 131011
Caption: I hate Planned Parenthood. They're so evil. How so? They were caught on tape casually talking about stuff they deal with every single day. That means they're so used to what they do, that it doesn't make them tear up or feel sad to talk about it. Like if I ever get into a horrible car accident and my guts are everywhere, I want a doctor who's going to throw up when he sees it. That's the least a professional could do.
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-26 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-26 Pub. Date: 2015-06-26
Image Number: 128756
Caption: You and I need to set a time to talk. I have a side business of network marketing which is amazing! … And I'm excited about sharing this excellent opportunity with you … my dear friend. What're you doing? You can work from home, make your own hours … and build a multi-million-dollar business working 10 hours a week. HOJ. Are you reciting some sort of script to me? Of course not. If I forward you a brief video, will you watch it?
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-14 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-14 Pub. Date: 2015-06-14
Image Number: 127575
Caption: Hello, Rudy. What would you like, Uncle Mort? I'd like you to promise me you'll give due consideration to Bernie Sanders. Not sure we have that. Stop joking. This may be America's last chance to avoid a dystopian future where we're all slaves to a heartless corporate-run plutocracy. What do you have against dystopian futures run by heartless corporations? Some of our best movies and video games are set in that kind of future. I'm not going to win this one, am I? Can Bernie Sandwich give us replicants and hover-cars? SANDERS!!! I'm looking forward to playing two-player with my clone.
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-26 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124712
Caption: I rented a car from Hertz the other day, and there was a camera in it. Really? Someone forgot their camera? No, I mean in the dashboard. There was a little camera pointed at me. I have no idea who or what was watching me. Maybe it was Hertz. Maybe it was the NSA. Maybe it was for American Idol auditions. To cover all my bases, I sang the Star-Spangled Banner the whole drive. I'm never renting from Hertz again.
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-05 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-05 Pub. Date: 2015-02-05
Image Number: 122489
Caption: Boss … I need to take a few months off for paternity leave. That's commendable. I'm all for fathers taking an active role in their children's lives. It's good for the health of our economy. Take all the time you need, as long as the "baby" you're talking about isn't a kitten, a houseplant or some video game where you raise a simulation of a baby. I'd like to withdraw my request. I thought you might, minion.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-31 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-31 Pub. Date: 2015-01-31
Image Number: 122186
Caption: Sometimes I wish I were a character in a video game. What? Why? Because they can run for miles, jump, tumble, spin, kick and punch, and never get out of breath. I can't run more than 100 feet without getting winded … and in civilization, you don't ever see an archer die of old age. Simulation-envy.
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-18 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-18 Pub. Date: 2015-01-18
Image Number: 120915
Caption: It's the Fad Herald. Please say hoverboards are in. Hear ye, today, a special announcement. The following is now in: Totally ignoring that we're now living in the year depicted in the movie "Back to the Future, part 2." Out: Any observation about what's come true: 3D movies, tablet computers, video conferencing, wall-mounted, wide-screen TVs that display multiple channels at once, being consumed by personal electronics and hoverboards. Um ... But I've been waiting 26 years to make those observations. Me too. Same here. And I've been waiting 26 years to mock everyone who does that. I'm not sure you got this one right, Fad Herald. Also out: Questioning what you're told. Oh. Sorry about that.
     
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