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Rudy Park

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-30 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-30 Pub. Date: 2017-03-30
Image Number: 156206
Caption: I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-25 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 155930
Caption: We never went to the moon. The Youtube evidence is conclusive. Not the Van Allen thing again." "Van Allen." It is absolutely impossible for human beings to traverse the Van Allen radiation belt. Explain how the Apollo astronauts passed through that radiation belt without either dying or hulking out. They were exposed to a cat-scan's worth of radiation. It was supposed to be a rhetorical question.
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-18 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-18 Pub. Date: 2017-03-18
Image Number: 155669
Caption: Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there, I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go. Of course I'm not. What's that beeping? I hear beeping in there. You're mistaken. What you probably heard is a big truck backing up a few blocks away. I've backed up. I've put on my motorcycle helmet. I'm getting a running start. But I'm almost at the next level! ... I mean I'm almost done.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-17 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-17 Pub. Date: 2017-03-17
Image Number: 155668
Caption: You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don't want me getting hurt in war? I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the World Lightweight Champion of Thumb Wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-07 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155392
Caption: I'm tired of being an alt-right internet superstar. It's way too much work now that I've got 48,000 subscribers to my Youtube channel. Since when do you have 48,000 subscribers? Since my debut video detailed how indigenous people from Foreignvania faked the moon landing by using teddy bears and special effects. I developed a unique following that's part racist, part conspiracy-enthusiast, part Photoshop user, and part Care Bear fanatic. Yeah ... I'm tired just listening to that. It's getting tough to craft stories that keep them ALL entertained.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-04 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-04 Pub. Date: 2017-03-04
Image Number: 155089
Caption: I was just watching a Youtube video called "How a Lack of Bird Poop Proved the Big Bang." It wan about how removing all sources of interference from a huge radiation detector led to the discovery of cosmic background radiation. They'd removed everything that might've been messing up the readings, and the last thing they removed was bird droppings. Then they knew the signals were real, and from space. I'm gonna have to watch that for myself, I'm not sure you've got all the details right. I was disappointed. I thought Youtube was finally gonna expose the great pigeon conspiracy.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-02-11 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-02-11 Pub. Date: 2017-02-11
Image Number: 154260
Caption: I bought P90X, Insanity, T25, and I even went old school and bought Tae Bo. I don't care how many you bought, I'm telling you clicking "buy now" doesn't burn any calories.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-23 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-23 Pub. Date: 2017-01-23
Image Number: 153707
Caption: I watched a Mark Blyth video on Youtube called "Global Trumpism." It explained everything. Really? How so? He pointed out how inflation was an unavoidable feature of predatory capitalism and how that led to worldwide Trumpism. And some stuff about Kierkegaard and Mussolini, and debtors' revolts, and the section of all societies in this phase that will swing right unless they're given a genuine left alternative ... I don't remember all the details, but it made a whole lot of sense in his mesmerizing Scottish accent. It was like James Bond, only smart. Were there bikinis?
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-14 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-14 Pub. Date: 2017-01-14
Image Number: 153097
Caption: I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-10 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-10 Pub. Date: 2017-01-10
Image Number: 153093
Caption: You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Yeah. You loved it, but then once you saw that "Birds of a Feather" episode, you hated it. Yeah. But now I love it again, because of season 2 episode 18: "To Bind the Wounds." Particularly the scene starting at 36 minutes and 11 seconds, and the rest of the way through. By the end of it, I was sobbing like a baby. I don't think there's anything worse than a grown man sobbing at his iPhone. You can see me sob at the 43:28 mark in my reaction video that I posted to Youtube.
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-09 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-09 Pub. Date: 2017-01-09
Image Number: 153092
Caption: You've got to stop getting all your history from Youtube and Netflix. Why? Because those are videos. People who make videos are making entertainment. It it's entertaining that means someone's constructed story. If it's a story, that means they left out or twisted whatever doesn't logically fit their narrative as told from one point of view. Accurate history would be completely illogical. Oliver Stone would disagree.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-19 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-19 Pub. Date: 2016-12-19
Image Number: 152375
Caption: You know how I was watching "Highway to Heaven" on Youtube? Everything was going great until I got to season two episode six. To protest toxic contamination, the angel put on a huge bird suit and drove a tricycle around, yelling "Kaw! Kaw!" and playing "You Spin Me Right Round" on a boombox. It took me 31 years to successfully repress that memory. Thanks a lot, Youtube. It's at the 11:10 mark in the video.
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-15 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152125
Caption: Boss, the health inspector is here. Excellent. My hacker just finished restoring all the inspector's social media posts dating back to 1994. Tell him "It'd be a shame if someone's career were ruined by a 20-year-old video of him doing the Macarena in the buff." Don't wink too much. But not too little, either. Very bad man.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-13 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152123
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-01 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-01 Pub. Date: 2016-11-01
Image Number: 150484
Caption: I still can't believe what happened with "The Walking Dead," Randy. That death … I don't think I'll ever get over it. Characters become real to us, little buddy. They become old friends. So when they "die," it's natural to mourn them just as we mourn anyone. No, I mean I can't believe I forgot to post a reaction video on Youtube of me crying when the death happened. But at least I got to post a reaction video of me reacting to my not having posted a reaction video. I've lived too long.
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-09 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 148888
Caption: What can I get you? An explanation for why we haven't gone back to the moon. Would you like the rational explanation or the Youtube explanation? Rational would be lovely, please. Ok. We never went back to the moon because there was no reason to. The whole point of Apollo was to reassure the free world that we could beat the Soviet Union. Mission accomplished. Oh ... that's it? Well, that's rather bland. Could I exchange that for the Youtube explanation? The lizard-men who live on the film set where we faked the landing asked us not to come back ... because they don't want us to realize the moon is actually a hollow spaceship they've projected onto the dome that covers our flat earth. Ooh, that's much more exciting.
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-06 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-06 Pub. Date: 2016-10-06
Image Number: 149321
Caption: Show me Elon Musk's announcement about going to Mars. Error: Video not found. Are you sure? It's on Youtube. He talks about how this is our insurance against an extinction-level event. What is "extinction level event"? You know, like an asteroid hitting us, or nuclear war, or the rise of an evil artificial intelligence bent on exterminating us. Show me Elon Musk's warning about artificial intelligence. Error: Video not found.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-23 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148783
Caption: Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You ok in there? I think I'm dying here. What? D'you need me to call 911? I don't think that'll help. I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city. Get off your phone!!! I'm saving the kingdom here! It's important!
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-03 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-03 Pub. Date: 2016-08-03
Image Number: 146702
Caption: I just need exactly 30 minutes to go to a funeral. Exactly? That's how long it'll take me to march to the archipelago where Bajor was and light a dragon on fire in Bajor's honor. I hope you're going to tell me you're talking about some video game … because paying for your mental health care would violate my religious beliefs, and the supreme court said I don't have to do that. I dressed my pikemen in black.
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-01 video 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-01 Pub. Date: 2016-08-01
Image Number: 146700
Caption: I'm sorry, can you repeat your order? Why? Because when I was about to hit "new order," an alert popped up … telling me my city was being marched on by an enemy alliance. Naturally, I had to launch the game and send all my troops, hero and resources to hide in Bajor, a friendly neighboring city. Congratulations! your troops have DESTROYED Bajor. This is probably how the Israeli-Palestinian thing started. What? Where's my coffee?!
     
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