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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about uncles.

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21. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-02 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-02 Pub. Date: 2017-01-02
Image Number: 152861
Caption: Rudy, would you mind ordering your uncle his usual oatmeal? Why can't you just order it? Because I don't want to be stereotyped as the old guy who always orders oatmeal. In my day, I ate a wide variety of foods. Every day it was something new and adventurous. It's not fair that I be judged only on what I eat in my golden years. You order the oatmeal, I'll order the Cream of Wheat, and we'll switch when no one's looking. Too adventurous for me.
     
22. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-01 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-01 Pub. Date: 2017-01-01
Image Number: 152000
Caption: Quadruple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. Doctors schmoctors. What do those ivy league elitists know? Pardon? If I think caffeine's exactly what I need, who are they to tell me otherwise? They're your doctors. How condescending of these arrogant "doctors" to think they know more than I do about my own bone strength and blood pressure. This is Donald Trump's America. Where the homespun beliefs of the common man trump the knowledge of specialists. Make my coffee great again!!! Nice try, Uncle Mort.
     
23. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-12 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-12 Pub. Date: 2016-10-12
Image Number: 149623
Caption: I think Uncle Mort's lost it, Randy. I disagree, little buddy. Maybe he does think a dolphin called him on the phone. But that's not conclusive. Sure, he says the dolphin told him all the earth's sentient species convened an unprecedented council and vowed to band together to exterminate us if we voted for Donald Trump ... but maybe he's just talking in metaphor. This morning he threw himself on the mercy of a salamander.
     
24. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-07 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-07 Pub. Date: 2016-08-07
Image Number: 145932
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. That's a good choice, Uncle Mort. Of course you'd say that!!! You're in the pocket of the chamomile industry! You feed at the chamomile trough!!! Here. Delicious. Thanks. I'm glad you're finally taking the doc's advice and laying off the caffeine. That's what you think! I just swallowed seven caffeine tablets with it!!!! Forget the doctors! Big chamomile is in cahoots with big medical insurzzzzzzzz. Addiction is an ugly thing.
     
25. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-17 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-17 Pub. Date: 2016-07-17
Image Number: 145025
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
     
26. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-29 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-29 Pub. Date: 2016-05-29
Image Number: 143143
Caption: I'll have a "Bernie Sanders." Sorry, Uncle Mort. That's not on the menu. Of course it is. It's been a popular menu item for months! Young people rave about it! They get bumper stickers and go to massive rallies! They go online and tell everyone they should just give the drink a chance! It's the best drink available, they say! It's snazzy! It's aces! It's a real sweet patootie! And then when the time comes to actually go out and buy it, guess what happens? Those crumbs forget to bring their wallets. I'm not really sure where you went with that analogy Uncle Mort. Never mind. Just give me a chamomile tea.
     
27. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-24 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-24 Pub. Date: 2016-04-24
Image Number: 141629
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. I am not your Uncle Mort. You know the doctors have said "no caffeine," Uncle Mort. I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Mr. Somewunneruther. "Mister Somewunneruther"? Yes. Of the Minnesota Somewunneruthers. We're a very old and respected family. We came over on the Sunflower. Mayflower!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up.
     
28. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-14 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-14 Pub. Date: 2016-02-14
Image Number: 138417
Caption: Triple espresso, por favor. I didn't know you spoke Spanish, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy tu tio Mort. Yo soy otra persona. You know the doctors said you can't have caffeine, Uncle Mort. Yo no soy "tio Mort." Me llamo Fernando Rubio … Cruz … Valenzuela … Alcaraz ... Y ademas, los medicos no ... um ... no ... y ademas, los medicos no ... Dang it! How do you say "And besides, the doctors don't know what they're talking about" in Spanish?! You have no evidence I'm not Fernando Rubio Cruz Valenzuela Alcaraz!! One Gentle Flower Chamomile Tea, coming up.
     
29. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-27 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-27 Pub. Date: 2015-12-27
Image Number: 136285
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine. I am not your Uncle Mort, I am someone else altogether. Oh yeah? Who are you? I am … Drinkum … Coffeeman … Worthington-Smythe … of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes. You may have heard of us ... we're a family of um ... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix. So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that? Google is an abomination!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up.
     
30. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-26 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-26 Pub. Date: 2015-11-26
Image Number: 135702
Caption: What's the best way to break up with someone without hurting their feelings, Uncle Mort? Turn every comment political. For instance, if she says "want to cuddle?" you say … "I guess so. It's better than turning up the thermostat and contributing to the burning of fossil fuels." In my experience, they'll be too busy leaving to have hurt feelings. Let me write this down ...
     
31. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-17 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-17 Pub. Date: 2015-11-17
Image Number: 135389
Caption: What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? I've been invited to two different Thanksgivings. One with family, one with friends. Which one do I go to? Ah. An age-old question. You do what we did in the old days: Think about which one is more likely to include arguments, bitter resentments and poorly hidden betrayals, ... And go to that one. A holiday without the floor show is no holiday at all! My aunt does hate my uncle ... but then ... my friend Tyra's husband does suspect her and Darnell.
     
32. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-08 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-08 Pub. Date: 2015-11-08
Image Number: 134166
Caption: Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other like that. It was different times. Don't judge. What were we talking about, again? You were ordering the gentle flower chamomile tea.
     
33. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-10-11 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-10-11 Pub. Date: 2015-10-11
Image Number: 132894
Caption: Quadruple espresso. Sorry, Uncle Mort. I'm gonna have to cut you off. I'm old! I can drink as much as I want, whenever I want! You think I got this old without knowing what I can and can't handle? Sorry. See?! I told you I - Zzz. A barista should always follow his instincts.
     
34. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-14 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-14 Pub. Date: 2015-06-14
Image Number: 127575
Caption: Hello, Rudy. What would you like, Uncle Mort? I'd like you to promise me you'll give due consideration to Bernie Sanders. Not sure we have that. Stop joking. This may be America's last chance to avoid a dystopian future where we're all slaves to a heartless corporate-run plutocracy. What do you have against dystopian futures run by heartless corporations? Some of our best movies and video games are set in that kind of future. I'm not going to win this one, am I? Can Bernie Sandwich give us replicants and hover-cars? SANDERS!!! I'm looking forward to playing two-player with my clone.
     
35. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-24 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-24 Pub. Date: 2015-05-24
Image Number: 126580
Caption: Quadruple espresso. Uncle Mort … what about your blood pressure? Never mind my blood pressure! Make sure it's caffeinated! Ok. Every major Republican and Democrat running for president this year is a corporate stooge. Democracy is kaput! Zzz. Decaffeinated caffeine from now on.
     
36. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-26 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-26 Pub. Date: 2015-04-26
Image Number: 125280
Caption: Today, an installment of our periodic feature: Uncle Mort's Less Than Mainstream Theories™ Of late, there has been a most welcome decline in crime in America. For whatever reason, I now feel comfortable taking a leisurely stroll at night, and I can wear my favorite blue flannel shirt without being shot at by gangsters who mistake me for a Crip. But let me explain what's really going on. THIS IS ALL A CONSPIRACY BY FLANNEL-SHIRT INDUSTRY EXECUTIVES! They've clearly convinced gangs across the country to cut down on the violence in return for some sort of profit-sharing arrangement. The saggy-jean industry is in on this too. A guy in skinny jeans tried to mug me. Couldn't get his own gun out of his pocket. Which also accounts for the falling crime.
     
37. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-14 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-14 Pub. Date: 2014-12-14
Image Number: 119418
Caption: Hello, Rudy. Hi Uncle Mort, what would you like today? How buttered scone; chamomile tea; big, heaping bow of oatmeal. Check, check and check. Also, an explanation of why you didn’t vote in the most important election of your life. Oh come on, Uncle Mort ... I've been voting for decades now. I vote every single time there's a presidential election. That's the one that really matters. All the other elections are for people who need the practice. Wait ... are you saying the presidential elections are the "big leagues" and the midterms are like the minors? DEMOCRACY IS NOT A SPORT!!! I'm no amateur.
     
38. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-12 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-12 Pub. Date: 2014-10-12
Image Number: 116835
Caption: Rudy! I've been hacked!!! What are you talking about, Uncle Mort? Remember when you scammed all my photos? "Scanned." They were released as part of "The Fappening"! What do you have to say for yourself?! Do you think perchance you should've used a more secure pathword on your iCloud account? "Password." So you admit it!! You let hackers violate my privacy, and I demand that you delete every picture of me in my skivvies from the internet! If you don't, I'll- Zzz. I don't know what you're talking about. "Rudyrulz" has been a secure password ever since 1994.
     
39. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-05 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-05 Pub. Date: 2014-09-05
Image Number: 115996
Caption: Have you ever met an Inuk, Sadie? A what? That's the singular word for "Inuit." The indigenous peoples who live in the Arctic. Oh, them. I'll put it this way … According to Mother Cohen, there was a hot, steamy love-triangle left out of the documentary "Nanook of the North." I'll never forget how "Uncle" Nanook taught me how to properly taunt a walrus. Forget I asked.
     
40. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-07-20 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113257
Caption: You've been avoiding me. Have not, Uncle Mort. For weeks, you've been dashing out of rooms as soon as I entered. Coincidence. What about when I knocked on your door yesterday and you jumped out the back window? Look, Uncle Mort, I just didn’t want to go through what I went through in 1994. I was just going to say one thing about the 20th anniversary of the OJ Simpson "trial of the century." YOU WOULD THINK THE "TRIAL OF THE CENTURY" WOULD'VE BEEN THE NUREMBERG TRIALS!
     
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