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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about uncles.

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Result page:    2  Next  (30 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-10 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-10 Pub. Date: 2019-11-10
Image Number: 180284
Caption: My Uncle Elroy passed away. I have so many regrets. We were never all that close. But he was always there, for all my graduations, for all the family dinners, and to take me to ballgames. But the last three years, our relationship was … not good. We argued all the time about Donald Trump. Oh my. He fell for ever conspiracy theory. He'd send me link after link to dailynutjob.com, and I'd respond with links of my own to actual news, to scientific journals, etc. The last time we messaged each other, he accused me of being part of the Deep State, and I accused him of being gullible. I see. You regret that you wasted his last years on earth arguing about Donald Trump. I regret that Uncle Elroy's not here to see Donald Trump finally get impeached.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-03 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-03 Pub. Date: 2019-11-03
Image Number: 180101
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. That's a good choice, Uncle Mort. Of course you'd say that!!! You're in the pocket of the chamomile industry! You feed at the chamomile trough!!! Here. Delicious. Thanks. I'm glad you're finally taking the doc's advice and laying off the caffeine. That's what you think! I just swallowed seven caffeine tablets with it!!!! Forget the doctors! Big chamomile is in cahoots with big medical insurzzzzzzzz. Addiction is an ugly thing.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-11 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-11 Pub. Date: 2019-08-11
Image Number: 178906
Caption: I'll have a gentle flower chamomile tea. How so I know you're you? Today's special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. Pardon? The real Uncle Mort always orders espresso. But a month ago, just for laughs, I took a picture of him with Faceapp, that app that show what you'll look like decades older. Then we discovered the app's fine print says you're granting the Russians who made it permission to use your photos for any reason. How do I know you're not a Russian spy surgically altered to look like Uncle Mort? (Words indicating Russian language). I mean, Don't be paranoid. Yeah ... Yeah I guess you're right.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-04 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-04 Pub. Date: 2019-08-04
Image Number: 178780
Caption: Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. Doctor's orders. I thought you might say that. That's why I brought along my doctor. He can attest that I'm perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. Mortimer Park is perfectly healthy and can tolerate vast quantities of caffeine. His bones are strong, his blood pressure is dandy, and he's got the pancreas of a man half his age. Give my patient a quadruple espresso, stat!!! You're a great ventriloquist, but your aim is lousy.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-01 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-01 Pub. Date: 2019-03-01
Image Number: 176501
Caption: Whachoomean you want me to bring kale burgers to the barbecue?! I promised my son I wouldn't eat cows anymore. He said it's not right to eat anything with parents. Tell him it's ok, 'cause Uncle Clyde ate that cow' parents yesterday. Sigh … I'll get the kale.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-01-05 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-01-05 Pub. Date: 2019-01-05
Image Number: 175661
Caption: Hey, little buddy. Your Uncle Mort is in DC getting sworn in. The President sprained his Twitter thumb. A climate-change-fueled monsoon just swamped the island nation of Ala Ala Ozo. Go away, Randy! Facebook was caught compromising out privacy again. A warthog ran wild downtown, injuring twelve. GO AWAY! Just filling you in on what's been happening since you weren't there. GO AWAY!
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-11 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-11 Pub. Date: 2018-07-11
Image Number: 172714
Caption: In the refugee detention center. Pardon me, sir, when are we to be set free? BACK, MEAT. "Meat"?! I'll have you know I was wearing fatigues and slogging across Europe for Uncle Sam before your daddy was spawned! A LITTLE RESPECT, SIR! You're right. Back, MR. Meat. That's better.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-21 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166923
Caption: I got sucked into an argument with my Uncle Elroy again. Dr. Noodle. He send me a dozen article from dailynutjob.com about how George Soros is behind all the conspiracy theories about George Soros. I couldn't help it … I finally wrote back, saying "Why?? Why would he do that??" He replied "Because George Soros is trying to make people who buy into George Soros conspiracy theories look bad." Oh my. Then he sent me article after article about how Antifa spies were getting white supremacist haircuts and pretending to be white supremacists, and saying evil white supremacist things. I couldn't help it ... I finally wrote back, saying "Why?? Why would they do that??" I thought we agreed you'd meditate whenever you had the urge to ask that question. He said "because they're trying to make white supremacists look bad."
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-24 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-24 Pub. Date: 2017-06-24
Image Number: 159393
Caption: What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-13 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-13 Pub. Date: 2017-06-13
Image Number: 159152
Caption: C'mon, little man. We goin' to Uncle C-Dog place 'cause you pop's done gone to … wait … what's wrong, Bruh? Brixton. He's being not nice. Day care. Whachoomean? What Brixton done? He push you off the sings? He put sand in your hair? He take your dinosaur? Lionel. Sophie. He said my daddy is and "enema of the American people because he's a journalist." don't nobody take Lionel Brown dinosaur. Wait ... what? I told Ms. Karen but Brixton said it was fake news.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-15 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-15 Pub. Date: 2017-04-15
Image Number: 156723
Caption: 1982. I don't like going to the doctor. My Uncle Benny went to the doctor and never came back. Plus, there are lots of sick people there. How is it a good ideas to go sit in a waiting room where everyone has the plague? Plus, I believe in the Vulcan philosophy of mind over matter. If Spock could trance himself free of those killer alien spores, I could do that too. You're going to die young, Lemont. No, I'm going to live long and prosper.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-25 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-25 Pub. Date: 2015-09-25
Image Number: 132816
Caption: Why is Donawd Duck wunning for pwesident? What? Wast week you wewe talking to Uncwe Cwyde about Donawd Duck wunning fow pwesident. Donald TRUMP, son, not Donald Duck. Donald Duck is a cartoon character who's very popular even though he's got a short temper and keeps throwing tantrums all the time. Does Donawd Twump weaw pants?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-02 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-02 Pub. Date: 2015-05-02
Image Number: 126135
Caption: OK, I have to admit, that was a really good film. What was your favorite part? Avengers. My favorite part was seeing Elizabeth Olsen play the Scarlet Witch. I remember when she was the baby on "Full House." So not only did I get to feel incredibly old, I also got to be distracted by the image of "Uncle Jessie" singing to her that kept running through my head. She wasn't on "Full House." Those were her older twin sisters. Avengers. Well then they should've put "she wasn't on' Full House'" on the posters.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-31 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-31 Pub. Date: 2015-03-31
Image Number: 124958
Caption: All right, I'll admit it: There were just way to many plot twists in the "Empire" season finale. First you find out that thing about Lucious … then there's what Hakeem does to Lucious … then there's what Dre and Rhonda do to Uncle Vernon … then there's what Dre, Rhonda, Cookie, Vernon and Hakeem do to Jamal ... then there's what Vernon and Cookie do to Lucious ... This still doesn't explain why you only really have two friends. Fewer friends means fewer people who can DO to me.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-13 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-13 Pub. Date: 2014-04-13
Image Number: 109349
Caption: That airplane's been on my mind ever since it went missing. I can't stop thinking about it … all those people and their families. Dr. Noodle. The possibility of losing someone so unexpectedly is just … it's just not right. But then I thought back to how I felt when my uncle died. He was sick for a long time. We all knew it was coming. We all visited him and said everything we wanted to say. We got to say goodbye. ... But the morning he passed ... it still hit us like a ton of bricks. It still was just ... not right. Death is the most unnatural natural thing there is. ... Next to brussels sprouts.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-17 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-17 Pub. Date: 2013-11-17
Image Number: 103511
Caption: We've got a little boy due in just a week or so. Dr. Noodle. I think James Henry Washington is a nice, strong, solid name. But Megan said our son has to be named after her favorite uncle. This morning, she said … "Emmett Samuel Nathaniel George Jerry Paul Cartho Washington is a great name." Megan doesn't like to play favorites. Life is largely about playing favorites. Every night we eat chicken-beef-tofu-fish surprise.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-27 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-27 Pub. Date: 2013-10-27
Image Number: 102724
Caption: Daddy? Tew me again what we awe fow Hawoween? This Halloween, daddy's going as Charles W. Chesnutt, who you'll of course recognize as the author of the "Uncle Julius McAdoo" stories from 1899. Uncle Julius was a former slave who overcame an oppressive society with the use of his humor, courage and wit. Also, magic and voodoo. What am I, daddy? You're the ham a slave offered a priestess in order to be able to eat the poisoned grapes, in one of the stories, of course. Don't worry, the snout is a dead giveaway. Daddy? Can I go with Uncle Cwyde fow Hawoween next yeaw?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-04 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-04 Pub. Date: 2013-08-04
Image Number: 99565
Caption: Things have just gone way too far. The other day, my nephew wanted to play with a doll. I snatched the Barbie away from him and told him he was playing into the hands of those who seek to destroy masculinity. I shoved an X-Wing Fighter into his hands and told him his blowing up the Death Star was necessary for the propagation of the species. I mad him crush the Barbie in the garbage disposal. That's when he started crying just like a little girl. I must've gotten there just in time.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-01 uncle 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-01 Pub. Date: 2011-11-01
Image Number: 72409
Caption: Black people have been brainwashed! Yeah, I said it! No, I won't take it back! I'm Herman Cain! I don't see why anyone would be offended by what I said. After all … I did add that some black people are starting to think for themselves. Now I now some of you are gonna call me an Uncle Tom for implying black people are weak-minded sheep, but I don't care, because I'm Herman Cain! He's gotta work on his campaign ads.
     
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