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Candorville

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Result page:     (16 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-10-17 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-10-17 Pub. Date: 2019-10-17
Image Number: 179917
Caption: Jodie at work called me a Type A person. It offended me. Type A's are ambitious, outgoing, proactive, concerned with time-management … but they're also rigidly organized. I specifically planned to be flexibly organized at this point of my life. Couldn't you just move flexible to your fifties? That would throw everything off!!!
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-21 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-21 Pub. Date: 2019-09-21
Image Number: 179503
Caption: You don't need a woman, Big L. You smart. You work hard. You honest. You a good man. You can raise your son on your own. That's not why I'm desperately looking for a woman! Maybe not honest.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-11 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-11 Pub. Date: 2015-06-11
Image Number: 128070
Caption: What's wrong? I'm reading "Abaddon's Gate." That Melba Koh is getting away with everything. Who's "Melba Koh"? She's like a lot of people. She thinks the world owes her respect … even though she's never done anything worthy of respect … even though she's completely self-centered. I hate characters who think everything's about them. Then why are you reading it? 'Cause the more I hate her, the more I know I can't possibly be like her. So it's all about you?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-03 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-03 Pub. Date: 2015-04-03
Image Number: 124961
Caption: Last night, I dreamt that you and I were married. Only instead of a hat, you wore a mohawk. And instead of being into science fiction, you were into Harleys. And instead of being sweet, you were a jerk. And instead of having a two-year-old son, you had no kids at all. But other than that, it was totally you. Dream-me is a very lucky jerk.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-03-09 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-03-09 Pub. Date: 2014-03-09
Image Number: 107838
Caption: I'm tired of the way you write about me on your blog, Big L. You sensationalize me. You accentuate my most extreme personality traits. You don’t capture the richness, the three-dimensionality of C-Dog. I'm like the URKEL in the story of your life. I didn't know you felt that way, Clyde. I'll stop writing about you. ... Even though my latest poll showed that you're by far the most popular character on the blog. How popular we talkin'? Does it matter?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-19 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-19 Pub. Date: 2013-09-19
Image Number: 101657
Caption: Lemont Brown's Credo, page 12. This, I believe: People are generally good and kind. Uh … Anybody ask, I was with you all day. Thug 4 Life. This, I believe: people are generally good or kind. Thanks, bruh.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-30 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-30 Pub. Date: 2011-11-30
Image Number: 73558
Caption: 1982. Do you believe in E.T.'s, Lemont? I believe in everything, Susan. Ghosts? Check. Vampires? Check. Frankenstein? Check. Bigfoot? Check. Mummies? Check. Time travel? Check. Atlantis? No. Wait ... Check. Then Mrs. Washington is dead wrong about you. I AM a well-rounded individual.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-10 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-10 Pub. Date: 2011-09-10
Image Number: 65250
Caption: Remember Webster, from college? Yeah, how could I forget? He was really charming. Sasha Mitchell married him. I'm not surprised. She went after him pretty hard back then. She said when I didn't make a move on her back in college, it broker her heart, so she latched on to him because he was the complete opposite of me. Um ... What I meant to say was, he was so incredibly un-charming. Too late.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-05-29 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-05-29 Pub. Date: 2011-05-29
Image Number: 61192
Caption: Confirmation bias. Huh? It's where a person decides something to be true … … And then they look only for examples that prove they're right, and ignore all the ones that show they may be wrong. Like, for instance, someone who decides a politician is awful will dwell on his failures - no matter how tiny they may be - and ignore or marginalize his accomplishments, no matter how huge they are. What's this have to do with you being a big-ass nerd? You're ignoring my vintage Tupac collection. Don't nobody but a nerd say "vintage."
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-25 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-25 Pub. Date: 2011-02-25
Image Number: 57546
Caption: Finally, as the elderly man you now see before you, Lemont Brown has become the paragon of responsibility. Except for the part about having had a love-child with a woman he doesn't even like, which led to him suing her for custody and us all being here today. I'm not even sure how that one happened, it's so out of character for him. But other than that ... paragon of responsible-ness, all the way. I'm only mumblety-five!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-23 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-23 Pub. Date: 2011-02-23
Image Number: 57544
Caption: Even as a child, my client demonstrated the sort of loyalty that makes him a great father. His best friend was a small thug named Clyde. Rather than abandon Clyde, Lemont stuck by him for life! Influencing him! Helping to shape him into a better person! Where is this Clyde now? In that alley over that way, selling hubcaps out of his trench coat. But that's beside the point.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-03 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-03 Pub. Date: 2011-02-03
Image Number: 56818
Caption: Facebook Messages. From Sasha Mitchell. I can't believe you're having woman troubles, Lemont. I always imagined you being really happy and having tons of women to choose from. Are you sure you're talking to the right person? I'm Lemont Brown. We met in Freeborn Hall at UC Berkeley in 1994. Yes, Lemont. I'm talking to the right man. I'm 5'6", favorite cereal is Cap'n Crunch, waist 32, inseam ... Tap tap tap tap.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-04-03 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-04-03 Pub. Date: 2010-04-03
Image Number: 45684
Caption: I love online dating. TAKE THAT, DARWIN! Huh? Darwinism's all about disparate creatures hanky-pankying and mixing random genetic traits to produce "evolve" offspring … But Date - a - Chick.com takes the randomness out of reproduction. I can order someone exactly like me! The internet killed Darwin.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-30 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-30 Pub. Date: 2010-03-30
Image Number: 45680
Caption: Date - a - chick.com. Charming, happy man who doesn't have a bitter bone in his body … … about his evil harpy ex who made his life a living nightmare … … seeks equally happy woman. Start over. Too mushy?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-29 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-29 Pub. Date: 2009-08-29
Image Number: 37760
Caption: Don't worry, baby. When the girls are older they're gonna look for a nice, kind, respectful man. So you just be who you are, baby, and someday. Pardon me. I just want to tell you that this memory is complete bull. Women don't ever outgrow their desire for the "bad boy." They suppress it. The trick is finding one who's so good at suppressing what she really wants that she'll be willing to settle for your boring behind. MOMMA! Have a good day.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-08-25 trait 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-08-25 Pub. Date: 2008-08-25
Image Number: 26237
Caption: Big L, you a "sensitive" dude. Uh… Thanks? Say I got this friend named big… Al. Say I saw some dude sneakin' in an' out Big Al's woman's house at 2 AM. Say I got a reason to believe dude is really the father of the kid Big L… AL… thought was his. What's a "sensitive" way to tell big Al? WELL THAT'S NOT IT!!!
     
Result page:     (16 images)