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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about tools and tooling.

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Result page:     (13 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-07 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-07 Pub. Date: 2019-11-07
Image Number: 180266
Caption: How old was that microwave oven you sold me, anyway? Why? Well, when I heated up my midnight Hot Pocket, I stood before the unit staring into its window, as I'm wont to do. When it dinged, I tool out my savory snack, fastened my bib, and turned around to find that my shadow had been burned into the wall. it might be a little old. I want my $5 back, with interest.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-09-03 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-09-03 Pub. Date: 2018-09-03
Image Number: 173879
Caption: I been thinkin' 'bout John McCain, bruh. How the whole country got together to worship him when he died. When he got captured, he tool it like nobody else alive prolly coulda taken it. Can't take that away from him. But he was wrong about a lot. He supported wars, invasions an' arms sales that got a lot of people slaughtered ... but then, so did America. An' that's why people love him. 'Cause if he still cool, that mean the rest of us still cool too. I think it was because of his sense of humor.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-03 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-03 Pub. Date: 2015-05-03
Image Number: 125860
Caption: Dear idiot … I am offended by your article from last week where you made fun of those who say we never actually went to the moon. It's tools like you who make it easy for NASA to go on lying to the world and covering up the truth. Maybe if you did a little more research on YouTube, you'd be able to open your eyes to the fact that the moon doesn't actually exist. Worlds the size of Earth shouldn't have satellites at all, let alone one bigger than Pluto. Some people should never wander away from YouTube's "cute kitten" area. There's evidence it's a giant, empty, ancient spaceship that ran out of fuel long ago.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-11 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-11 Pub. Date: 2015-01-11
Image Number: 121631
Caption: I still can't believe the President is normalizing relations with Cuba. Me neither. Your realize how long it's been since American let its people hang out in Cuba? Two words, Susan: "Ricky Ricardo." The U.S. has been giving Cuba the cold shoulder ever since Ricky Ricardo was married to Lucy, and it tool till now for us to admit it wasn't working. Gene Roddenberry was still trying to sell some TV show about World War II. You lost me on that one. The original Star Trek wouldn't exist for another five years!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-08-07 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-08-07 Pub. Date: 2014-08-07
Image Number: 114620
Caption: Last night I dreamt I was dreaming. Recursive dreams can be very disturbing, Dr. Noodle. But there are tools you can use to tell you're asleep. That's not it. I'm just bummed that the dream I dreamt I had was more interesting than the dream I actually had. Never mind. Tell me about the tools. Sorry, time's up. (Originally published on 2012-02-09).
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-09 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-09 Pub. Date: 2013-12-09
Image Number: 104847
Caption: You hear 'bout them black kids in Rochester who got arrested for loitering … … while all they was doin' was waitin' for they school bus? Does that surprise you? This is the country that described Travon Martin's screwdriver as a "burglary tool." In my hands, someone's liable to call this basketball a "weapon." Only if they ain't never played ball with you.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-02-09 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-02-09 Pub. Date: 2012-02-09
Image Number: 76090
Caption: Last night, I dreamt I was dreaming. Dr. Noodle. Recursive dreams can be very disturbing. But there are tools you can use to tell you're still asleep. That's not it. I'm just bummed that the dream I dreamt I had was more interesting that the dream I actually had. Never mind. Tell me about the tools. Sorry, time's up.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-03-28 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-03-28 Pub. Date: 2010-03-28
Image Number: 45428
Caption: I don't have enough pictures of us. Lemont. Let's take a picture. Can't. Too dark, and my iPhone was no flash. But there's a third-party accessory that adds a flash. I might get that. Oh, you mean like after you take a picture, you can go in and make it brighter? That's not what I meant, but there's an app for that. They should pay you. Hold on, let me just recover from being a corporate tool for a second.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-12-29 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-12-29 Pub. Date: 2009-12-29
Image Number: 42483
Caption: You're a writer. I'll use terms you'll understand to prove you're hallucinating all this. Ever heard of the concept of the "Hero's Journey"? Of course. The protagonist gets thrust into a hopeless abyss of danger against his will, but a wise dude gives him the tools to overcome his challenges. He finds peace, obtains his goals, and returns home a hero. See. You've constructed a hero's journey in your head for yourself. The hopeless abyss: you're stuck in Mexico. You've got the wise guide ... Don't flatter yourself.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-24 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-24 Pub. Date: 2009-09-24
Image Number: 38661
Caption: Dear God, nurse, it's another one! This is a unique case, Doctor. Why? Another anti-Obama protester has collapsed under the weight of all his different metaphors. Yes Doctor, but observe … A tea bag, protesting the bank bailouts. A birth certificate, suggesting Obama's not a citizen. A scythe, protesting the public health care option. The usual. Look closer, Doctor. My word, is that ... an AFRO? I'm Black! That's not usually a symptom of this disease.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-23 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-23 Pub. Date: 2009-09-23
Image Number: 38660
Caption: Well, guess I'm ready to protest Obama's Communist health care plan. … Wait! Almost forgot … hand me my scythe, please. Ah, sweet scythe. My metaphor for how Obama's creating "death panels' that'll go door to door assassinating anyone over the age of 50. AAAAAH!! My back! My back! I'll call 9-1-1. No socialized vehicles! Call me a cab!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-23 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-23 Pub. Date: 2009-08-23
Image Number: 37718
Caption: Um, Lemont, this is Momma. I'm a little confused by your outgoing message. Please call me back, baby. Outgoing message. Beep. Hi Momma! Golly gee, you've reached the home of Lemont Brown! I need your help. Please send over a care package with mustard, ten pounds of Cap'n Crunch, and a new crowbar. Also, a six-pack of ski masks from Costco and an Identity Theft for Dummies book from Amazon. Oh, and a Clay Aiken CD or Battlestar Voyager DVD or some other nerdy #$%& would be just swell! Now momma, dagnabbit, I got a rat problem. So it would be prudent to send it to Clyde. Golly gee willikers! Thanks, Momma. What?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2008-12-15 tool 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2008-12-15 Pub. Date: 2008-12-15
Image Number: 28789
Caption: The Senate considers bailing out another failed industry. Let's not pussyfoot around the REAL issue: The labor unions are milkin' you dry. Elite workers rakin' in upwards of $9 an hour… Before we give you a dime of taxpayer money… …The unions should be crushed, disemboweled and shot out of the nearest cannon into the gates of hell. Dilbert. Uh...I didn't know the comic strip industry HAD a union. H. Freeman. That's because you're a tool of our corporate overlords.
     
Result page:     (13 images)