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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-28 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-28 Pub. Date: 2017-08-28
Image Number: 162087
Caption: You know how Marvel had heroes star in separate movies, and then they all united in "The Avengers"? And then on Netflix Marvel had separate series, and then they all united in "The Defenders"? Why don't newspaper comic strips do that? You've got a couple hundred separate characters who've been building an audience for decades. What if the protagonists from "The Oldersons," "23 Skiddoo" and "Should've Ended in 1950" got together? It'd be epic. They could call it "The Dependers." Careful, you ain't all that young neither, bruh.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-26 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-26 Pub. Date: 2017-08-26
Image Number: 161805
Caption: I saw all them tweets you made this mornin' about how both sides need to come together … about how even though both sides have very different views of what our defining principles ought to be, we should respect each other. I was almost with you right till the last tweet, which don't make no sense, bruh. #startrekdiscovery fans + #oldschooltrek fans, stop the madness! is pretty self-explanatory, Clyde. What language is you even speaking?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-24 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160757
Caption: I'm glad you're not mad at me, Lemont. Why would I be mad at you, Susan? You didn't make me accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me just because she had an innocent dinner with some other guy. Sure, you sent me the video and warned me it was too painful to watch, so I sprung it on her sight-unseen and it turned out to be nothing ... and sure, you forgot to tell me they didn't leave together or exchange numbers ... And sure, you almost single-handedly wrecked one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life ... Well, I'm just glad you're no mad, old buddy. And sure ...
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-03 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-03 Pub. Date: 2017-07-03
Image Number: 159979
Caption: We've been together for a year, Solnishko. "Solnishko"? That's from mother Russia. It's me telling you you're my sunshine. Anyway, I have something to ask you, my myshka. Your "myshka"? Means my cute little mouse in Russian. "Mouse"? Mice are rodents. Susan, are you trying to change the subject? You know rodents spread diseases, right? How dare you.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-05 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-05 Pub. Date: 2017-06-05
Image Number: 158825
Caption: To: Lemont Brown. From: UC Berkeley Alumni Association. Hey LB, it's Louis Black. Remember me? We worked at the school paper together. We're putting together a class of '97 Reunion. Hope you can make it. Also, are you in touch with any other '97 grads we should invite? Hi, Louis! I did hear from my college roommate, Kenneth Noh. He called me a couple years ago to invite me to join ISIS with him. Delete delete delete. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Hi, Louis! I am following my other college roommate, Rudy Park, to Russia, where he's meeting with Putin's henchman in order to ... Delete delete delete. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Hi Louis! ... Nah, I don't really know anyone anymore. Send. Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-01 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-01 Pub. Date: 2017-05-01
Image Number: 157545
Caption: The Associated Press is fake news. And now we have iron-clad proof. We do? They "interviewed" Trump, but all of his answers were total gibberish. Completely unintelligible. Clearly, their fake-news-generating machine went haywire and just threw together a bunch of random nouns and adverbs. (Sigh) Trump is so going to win in 2020. I'm leading a mob to the AP building to burn the machine at the stake.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-18 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-18 Pub. Date: 2017-01-18
Image Number: 153406
Caption: Vancouver was nervous, just like me. There we stood, two people who'd Facebooked every day for a year … who earn a living telling stories to millions … yet neither of us could string together a complete sentence. She drew me into her home in absolute silence ... Almost. I could hear out soft footsteps on her carpet. I could hear my own heart beating. I could hear my phone ring. I could hear her say "You gonna get that?" I could hear myself say "It's just a telemarketer." Dios mio.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-04 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-04 Pub. Date: 2017-01-04
Image Number: 152857
Caption: I need some new pants. Want to come shopping? I'll pretend you ain't asked me that, Big L. Bruthas don't "shop" together. That's what women do. What, you need me to tell you if them jeans make you look fat? You need me to tell you how pretty you is? Get outta here with that #$%@. Clyde, a man who's secure in his own sexuality isn't afraid to go shopping with another man. I'll pretend you ain't said "sexuality" to me.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-21 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-21 Pub. Date: 2016-12-21
Image Number: 152371
Caption: Ok … but what actually happened when you and Vancouver saw each other again? I want details! Well, after we spent a few days making up for lost time … After we were convinced that our entire lives led us to this point and we were meant to be together ... Oh wait, my pants are vibrating. I'm getting a call. For some reason, I'm starting to sense it all went horribly wrong. Y'know, what I just said to you would've made no sense at all when we were kids.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-06 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-06 Pub. Date: 2016-12-06
Image Number: 151814
Caption: It's been a while since I've seen you two. How are you love birds doing? Dr. Noodle. Couples' counseling. Three years ago. Great. Just great. I mean, sure, we were on the verge of breaking up. And sure, the internet is young and hot, and willing to do just about anything I want ... but tv and I have been together forever, so we might as well just stick it out. Oh. So I'm just a habit to you?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-10 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-10 Pub. Date: 2016-11-10
Image Number: 150715
Caption: Lemont interviews Lemonts from alternate realities where elections turned out differently. Ok … let's walk through it one more time. On your earth, Robert F. Kennedy … was elected in 1968, ended poverty, brought the races together, and ended Vietnam. That's correct. And his brother Ted ... won in 1980, got us single payer healthcare, and took us to Mars, that's correct. And Donald Trump ... Still grabs women by the censored, that's correct.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-07 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-07 Pub. Date: 2016-11-07
Image Number: 150712
Caption: You've been in Canada six whole hours. When do I get to see you, Candorville? I can't wait any longer. How 'bout right now? I'm at the American Pub on Spite Street. It's a sketchy bar in the worst part of Gastown, where a bunch of American ex-pats and tourists can get together and act like they're still in the states. Censored you, you stupid liberal censored head! Censored my censored you censored Fascist! Wanna hang out with me while I cover election night for my news site? I can wait a little longer.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-19 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-19 Pub. Date: 2016-10-19
Image Number: 149906
Caption: Hello, journalist, you've reached the campaign of Donald Trump. Vancouver International Airport. If you've criticized Mr. Trump in the past, press "one," you overrated, no-talent hack. Taxi queue. If you've showered him with praise, press "two," you decent, talented credit to your profession. Boop. You've pressed "two." Your interview may now commence ... Hello? This is Trump. "One" and "two" are so close together.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-10 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-10 Pub. Date: 2016-08-10
Image Number: 147067
Caption: I haven't finished reading a novel since my son was born. Taking care of him leaves me no time for any of my old hobbies. So I'm coming up with new hobbies he and I can do together. That makes sense. Today's hobby is going to be "Hide and Seek." I'll take about an hour to "find" him just so he'll think he's doing a great job hiding. How long does it take you to read a chapter in a novel? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-08 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-08 Pub. Date: 2016-06-08
Image Number: 144221
Caption: You know how I've been seeing a lady from Vancouver long-distance? Dr. Noodle. I'm finally going to see her again in person, in just two weeks!!! But now I'm terrified. The one time we were together in person, it was hot and steamy and magical. We tend to build things up in our memories, and reality can never live up to our memories. Try to temper expectations. Too late. She's already started calling me "Thor." Ph.D.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-29 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-29 Pub. Date: 2016-04-29
Image Number: 142413
Caption: I'm proud of you, Lemont. You're a good dad. I am? You must be. We used to spend hours together. Now I only get to see you about ten minutes a day. And when I do see you, you look horrible. It's like you save all your clothing-and-soap money for your boy. ... Thanks? (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-05).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-04 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-04 Pub. Date: 2016-02-04
Image Number: 138595
Caption: The Double Date. Sometimes Vancouver and I go for a stroll along the docks. You guys wanna do that with us? What're you talking about? She's thousands of miles away. How do you go for walks along What're you Bzzzzzzzzz. Long-distance relationships are the worst. We can go as soon as Skype finishes buffering.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-02 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-02 Pub. Date: 2016-02-02
Image Number: 138593
Caption: The Double Date. So you and Susan seem happy.* *I'm her best friend. I'm the one who'll keep making her happy long after she's dumped you. Oh, yeah.* *You're her "friend-zone guy." You wish you could be me right now. Sigh.* *We do things together I bet you wish you could do together. You want another drink? I'm buying.* *I hate you with the intensity of a thousand suns.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-02-01 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-02-01 Pub. Date: 2016-02-01
Image Number: 138592
Caption: The Double Date. I need to go to the ladies' room. Tap tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap tap t - Ding! Vancouver says she'll go with you. Dios mio.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-24 together 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-24 Pub. Date: 2016-01-24
Image Number: 137727
Caption: I told my wife all about us, Jenny, and she left me. That means we can finally be together, like we wanted. All the things we dreamed about over Facebook can finally come true. We can finally take that long walk along the beach make love under the night sky on a bed of roses ... dress like big teddy bears and mud-wrestle ... All the beautiful things that we alone dared to dream are finally about to happen, Jenny. No ... this isn't Robert ... No ... this isn't Sam ... Jenny, are you joking with m -- No, this isn't Randy ...
     
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