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Rudy Park

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61. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-10-14 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 149625
Caption: Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.
     
62. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-19 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-19 Pub. Date: 2016-09-19
Image Number: 148779
Caption: Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who? … Marx? Mark's what? Thank you for reminding me why I hired you, minion. Can I take my weekly lunch break today instead of Friday?
     
63. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-04 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-04 Pub. Date: 2016-09-04
Image Number: 147195
Caption: Today's man lesson is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never … promise … anything. Wait … What do you mean? Pretend you're the lady, ask me to promise you something. Ok … (ahem) … Promise me you won't ever even look at another woman? A man would have to be crazy to look at another woman when he could be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.
     
64. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-31 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-31 Pub. Date: 2016-08-31
Image Number: 147933
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Donald Trump's pivot. In my day, there was no such thing as a "pivot." A "pivot" was called something else. It was called "being a two-faced snake in the grass." The only time Truman "pivoted" was when we were on the dance floor, and he heard young Dick Nixon talking trash.
     
65. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-08-23 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-08-23 Pub. Date: 2016-08-23
Image Number: 147675
Caption: Sadie, they just found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we’ve discovered in my lifetime. It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are … unless they've got telescopes. It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus. I see you're bringing what passes for your A-game today.
     
66. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-30 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-30 Pub. Date: 2016-07-30
Image Number: 146487
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show with Sadie Cohen, we discuss one topic: The month of August. Everyone knows the month of August is named after Roman Emperor Augustus Caesar. What many don't realize, though, is Augustus was only a figurehead. The true power behind the throne was wielded by his mistress, Sadius Cohenus XVII. This explains why the month is so oppressive and unbearable. Shhh ... she might hear you.
     
67. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-07-08 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-07-08 Pub. Date: 2016-07-08
Image Number: 145518
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Elizabeth Warren. As many of you have correctly guessed … I've been ghost-writing all of her Donald Trump-related speeches and tweets. That's why she's been tearing him a new one lately. Sadie's lady's coming for you, Donald!!! ... But I would like all my listeners to write to Liz and ask her to stop leaving out all my well-crafted expletives.
     
68. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-24 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144913
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is "Become a Vapor." Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire place. Greet people with you arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide-open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory.
     
69. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-11 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-11 Pub. Date: 2016-06-11
Image Number: 144242
Caption: I'll admit, yesterday I was off my game. I made a rookie mistake and you bested me, nemesis. But I'll take comfort in the fact that the internet has ruined your ability to convert short-term memories into long-term ones. Today's Special Latte + 1hr web $12.50. You won't recall minute details of your day ... All you'll remember are the parts that stick out most, such as me yelling ... you're such a loser! Joke's on you, I won't even remember that.
     
70. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-26 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-26 Pub. Date: 2016-05-26
Image Number: 143658
Caption: If I could live in any other era, it would be "the age of woman." What? When was that? By my calculations, it will be the year 2297. That's when the entire paradigm will shift. Women will be in charge of everything, and men will be ignored, belittled and objectified. HOJ. Life's too easy today. I need the challenge the 23rd century will provide. I think I probably need to live in the 16th century.
     
71. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-21 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-21 Pub. Date: 2016-05-21
Image Number: 143355
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: our solar system's newly discovered planet. Specifically, we'll be talking about how for years, conspiracy nuts have been saying the scientific community was hiding a whole planet, for some reason, and would never confirm "Planet X's" existence. Not a single one of you freaks has admitted you were wrong. Well done. Never admit that your suspicions about people were in error. Acknowledging that someone has proven you wrong about them is a sign of weakness.
     
72. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-23 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-23 Pub. Date: 2016-04-23
Image Number: 142135
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … An "Indiana Jones" producer says he can't imagine anyone other than Harrison Ford playing Indiana Jones in the upcoming sequels. This means Ford may be playing the intrepid archaeologist well into his eighties. Breaking news!!!!! He's way too young for me, but he could raid my Temple of Doom any day. We now return you to "The Price is Right."
     
73. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-04-22 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-04-22 Pub. Date: 2016-04-22
Image Number: 142134
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, we discuss one topic: Earth Day. All you global warming alarmists need to stop yer sniveling! The year was 1918. After a passionate love affair, an Inuk man named Nanook deeded acres and acres of Arctic land to Mother Cohen, who in turn deeded it to me. I, for one, am looking forward to the day when that land will be a tropical paradise. Sasquatch will be no match for "Sadie of the North." I fear for the polar bears.
     
74. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-29 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-29 Pub. Date: 2016-03-29
Image Number: 141146
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Batman V Superman." It's a disgrace! It paled in comparison to the originals from my day! Henry Cavill is no Kirk Alyn! Ben Affleck is no Lewis Wilson! A superhero that doesn't wear his underpants on the outside is no superhero at all!!! Especially if he doesn't pull them up all the way to his armpits.
     
75. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-03-04 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-03-04 Pub. Date: 2016-03-04
Image Number: 139846
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Donald Rump." In other words, we'll be discussing the childish way people mangle the names of politicians with whom they disagree … such as "Barack O-Blame-A," "Ronald Raygun," "George W. Tush," "Shrillery Clinton," "Jimmy Farter," "Gerald Bored," "Herbert Loser," "Cow Pen Coolidge" ... and one from Great-Grandma Cohen's day ... "Abraham Stinkin'."
     
76. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-17 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-17 Pub. Date: 2016-02-17
Image Number: 139254
Caption: You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?
     
77. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-30 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-30 Pub. Date: 2015-12-30
Image Number: 137200
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: "Star Wars." Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. YOU PEOPLE TODAY HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN OF A CHIMPANZEE!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said.
     
78. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-19 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-19 Pub. Date: 2015-12-19
Image Number: 136618
Caption: Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie "studio fees" for operating her radio show in the café? Well, I've got good news and bad news. What's the good? She's agreed not to resort to violence. I see. And the bad news? On today's "Sadie Cohen Radio Show": Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers.
     
79. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-03 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-03 Pub. Date: 2015-12-03
Image Number: 135995
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … uh … never mind, we're sorry. It can wait. Please forgive us. Breaking News!!!!! Nobody messes with my routine. It'll never happen again.
     
80. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-29 today 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-29 Pub. Date: 2015-11-29
Image Number: 135088
Caption: Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to confuse spearmint with peppermint? I must be the biggest jerk in the world. You said it. I didn't ... dear. Give us a drink that says "You're just like your meddling mother." Give us a drink that says "My mother was right about you." Leave! Both of you!
     
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