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Dustin

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1. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-12-04 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-12-04 Pub. Date: 2017-12-04
Image Number: 165542
Caption: We're doing a show today about how retirees are finding they're unprepared financially. I read about that. They overestimate their income and underestimate their expenses. Wait -- So, technically I can tell girls I've taken early retirement.
     
2. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-10-20 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-10-20 Pub. Date: 2017-10-20
Image Number: 163807
Caption: You look ill. My mom forgot to pack me a lunch today … so I had to eat pizza in the cafeteria. You know what they say about pizza … even when it's bad, it's good. Who said that? I don't know. Pretty sure he didn't go to my school.
     
3. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-08-05 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 160926
Caption: Did you get the lantana? Um … no, sweetheart. Ed, I told you I want to plant some lantana. It's all I asked you to get while I picked up all of these other things! I'm very sorry, sweetheart. Sorry?! One item, Ed! One item! And you can't remember it? I remembered Helen ... but the solar panel pitch guy is stationed by the plants today. Oh. Okay. We can come back tomorrow.
     
4. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-25 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-25 Pub. Date: 2017-06-25
Image Number: 158878
Caption: I can't believe you wore that shirt to Home Depot. What's wrong with this shirt. The Home Depot. It's orange, Ed. Everyone's going to think you work here. Home Depot people wear aprons, Helen -- orange aprons. Excuse me. Where would I find your pickaxes? Oh ... I don't work here. I just wore an orange shirt today. Hey, can you tell me where you reciprocating saws are? I have no idea. I don't work here. This is a shirt, not an apron. Later. Ed? I've been looking all over the store. Where are you? I got fed up with everyone assuming I work here ... so I started making up locations for whatever obscure item they asked me about. There must be a half-dozen furious customers looking for me, Helen. What if you run into one of them? I know -- So I'm hiding out in the employee break room until the store closes.
     
5. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-11 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-11 Pub. Date: 2017-06-11
Image Number: 158399
Caption: Why does every rate increase notice begin with "in order to serve you better"? I'm on hold with these people to find out exactly what that means. You're wasting your time. Great. A recording … how convenient. Now I'm being asked to key in my sixteen-digit account number, "in order to serve me better." Bip bip boop blip bleep boop boop. Thank you for holding. May I have your account number? Seriously? I just keyed in all sixteen digits and now you're asking for it again?! And by the way, I listened to all of your menu options and they have not recently changed. How can I provide you with excellent customer service today? Do you have a time machine?
     
6. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-06-06 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-06-06 Pub. Date: 2017-06-06
Image Number: 158661
Caption: Today's my graduation day. Whoa -- Congrats! It's just from second grade. Well, before you know it, you'll be graduating from high school, just like I did. Four short year later, you'll pick up your diploma from college, just like I did. And after that ... Stretched out on the sofa? I knew I should have personalized the story ...
     
7. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-05-03 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-05-03 Pub. Date: 2017-05-03
Image Number: 157346
Caption: More Star Wars movies? Episodes four, five and six today. Then "The Force Awakens" and "Rogue One" on Star Wars day tomorrow. Is that blue milk? It's from this episode. You just missed it. You did that with food coloring? We couldn't very well milk a Bantha. Mine has a shot of vodka.
     
8. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-04-22 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-04-22 Pub. Date: 2017-04-22
Image Number: 156799
Caption: Wait. Did you say you're not using your cellphone today? It's Earth Day, Mom. We all have to do our part by using as little energy as possible. I'm on it. Comics.
     
9. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-04-08 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-04-08 Pub. Date: 2017-04-08
Image Number: 156268
Caption: Aargh! The battery on my iPhone died. I swear, it's like you're addicted to that thing. Today's Spec … grilled … Oh, I am so not addicted. I don't allow external controls on my life. It's just that now I can't use my Starbucks app.
     
10. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-02-23 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-02-23 Pub. Date: 2017-02-23
Image Number: 154602
Caption: I really need to cut back on sugar and fat. Donuts are loaded with sugar and fat. Therefore, I'll only order coffee. Now serving donuts. Morning, Mr. Kudlick. Chocolate, glazed or sprinkles today? Sprinkles. So much for the syllogism diet.
     
11. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-01-05 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-01-05 Pub. Date: 2017-01-05
Image Number: 152693
Caption: I want you to clean the gutters today. Clean the gutters? Dad, it's the middle of winter. We haven't had leaves in months. I want you to clean the Christmas lights off them.
     
12. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2017-01-03 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2017-01-03 Pub. Date: 2017-01-03
Image Number: 152691
Caption: I hope dad doesn't ask me to take down the Christmas lights today. Dustin, will you take down the Christmas lights before it rains? Sure. I hope it doesn't rain today.
     
13. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-11-28 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-11-28 Pub. Date: 2016-11-28
Image Number: 151365
Caption: I just received an alert from Mastercard. They want to know if I'm in possession of my card. That's not good. This is Helen Kudlick. I just receive a security alert … Yes, I have my card … Of course I realize today is Cyber Monday … Seriously? … and that's based on my history? ... Okay, thank you. The system flagged my account for suspicious inactivity.
     
14. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-11-18 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-11-18 Pub. Date: 2016-11-18
Image Number: 150811
Caption: Dude, you look like you got run over by the bus. I was a good Samaritan in the cafeteria today … I went to get a glass of juice and when I got back to the table, I had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on a guy! He was choking? He was eating my friend Katy's sandwich.
     
15. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-09-15 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-09-15 Pub. Date: 2016-09-15
Image Number: 148277
Caption: I'm going to start calling you "servpro." Servpro? Mm-hm. Remember when I left this morning, I asked if you'd cut the grass today? Um oh, yeah, I remember. "Like it never even happened."
     
16. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-08-05 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-08-05 Pub. Date: 2016-08-05
Image Number: 146534
Caption: Well, I see we have marijuana advocate Carl on the line. Whoa, hey, Helen. Long time, right? Yes, Carl. What's on your mind today? Lately I've been having extremely deep thoughts that give rise to vexing questions. Um okay, Carl. Perhaps I can help. Totally, Helen. Here' something I can't figure out ... When a baby is born, why don't people say it sold the farm?
     
17. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-07-21 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-07-21 Pub. Date: 2016-07-21
Image Number: 145879
Caption: I can't believe it. One caller I had today mocked the fact that penguins mate for life. Another said some animals are downright promiscuous - like dolphins, which have mating encounters many times a day. No wonder they're always smiling. I beg your pardon.
     
18. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-07-11 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-07-11 Pub. Date: 2016-07-11
Image Number: 145562
Caption: Hey I just realized today's date is 7-11. Do you feel lucky today? I don't know 7-11 makes me want a Slurpee. Are you buying? I suppose I am. In that case, I feel lucky.
     
19. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-06-20 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-06-20 Pub. Date: 2016-06-20
Image Number: 144622
Caption: Today's the summer solstice. Huh. It's the longest day of the year. I think you're forgetting Saturday at the DMV.
     
20. Cartoonist Steve Kelley Jeff Parker  Dustin 2016-03-15 today 
Cartoonist(s): Steve Kelley Jeff Parker
Comic/Cartoon: Dustin
Viewable Date: 2016-03-15 Pub. Date: 2016-03-15
Image Number: 140253
Caption: I still can't get that stupid mower started. Why don't you get Dustin to do that? It has to be done today. They pick up the yard waste tomorrow. Yard waste.
     
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