I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to play!" We've got some week-old coffee I haven't thrown out yet. That's pretty dangerous. Gimme a large and keep it coming.
First, I didn't suffer concussions when I played football. Second, I'm not a meathead. Third, how can you joke about football injuries. Joke? I feel bad for you. You're an arrested adolescent, obsessed with picking up chicks, going nowhere in your career. Obviously, that's a result of your head trauma. Your brain's taken more shots than a Tiger Woods car bumper. It's gotten hit on more than a Tiger Woods waitress! That's not joking? Sorry, I thought it would go over your squished head.