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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-18 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-18 Pub. Date: 2018-06-18
Image Number: 172382
Caption: Quadruple shot and four donuts. Are you serious? I'm going to the post office. Oh no. Not again. Yep. And I'm going to set a personal record. I beg you not to do this. Throw in a red bull. I cannot be party to this! To what? Stay tuned for madness …
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-16 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-16 Pub. Date: 2018-06-16
Image Number: 172245
Caption: This just in: A massive sinkhole just opened across the bridge in a suburb of Candorville. The ent … Click. One structure was spared obliteration: A local café that had advertised that one of its muffins contained a free-gas-for-life card. The entire town was there ... Click. Candorville's mayor, Ronald Thump, has closed the bridge, preventing sinkhole refugees from reaching. Click ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper tooo ... the millionaire ... mun mun mun -
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-15 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-15 Pub. Date: 2018-06-15
Image Number: 172244
Caption: I got a tip about a huge geological calamity that's about to happen across the bridge. This story could make my site famous. Could you watch my boy while I go cover it? 'Course, bruh. For $4,000. Cool … what? I been reading Trump's Art of the Deal. It say if a brotha want something bad enough, charge him fifty times your usual fee. Are you sure that's in there? I demand to know what page. Ok. How much that information worth to you?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-12 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172241
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-11 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-11 Pub. Date: 2018-06-11
Image Number: 172240
Caption: There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows got renewed, and now this. It's just my luck.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-09 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-09 Pub. Date: 2018-06-09
Image Number: 172100
Caption: What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-04 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-04 Pub. Date: 2018-06-04
Image Number: 172095
Caption: Has it occurred to you, Rosencrantz, that we are never there? Wherever we are at any given moment is but a rest stop on a journey form where we were to where we are headed. All of existence is in motion. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if some great being would put its finger on existence and bring it to a halt. Even the great finger could not remain there forever, for the finger is always on a journey to somewhere else. I sense this thesis is about to go sideways, Tyrone.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-25 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-25 Pub. Date: 2018-05-25
Image Number: 171810
Caption: What was Rudy like as a child, Mort? He was a very adventurous young man. Every time I visited, he would tell me about his exploits. About how he climbed mountains with some other child named Q-Bert … He's tell me about how he'd spend hours and hours collecting coins with his friends Mario and Luigi ... Who just put the Joker back in Arkham Asylum? This guy!! I don't know what that means, but it sounds very strenuous.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-20 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-20 Pub. Date: 2018-05-20
Image Number: 171156
Caption: I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not noticing she had to have been at least 23 years old.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-17 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-17 Pub. Date: 2018-05-17
Image Number: 171510
Caption: Boss? Strange thing happened … I created a cryoptocurrency called Rudycoin. I had about $375 billion worth of Rudycoins as of last night. But early this morning, I got an email form you that had a link called click this. I clicked it. Suddenly, my $375 billion balance shrunk to $3.75. I don't know what you're talking about, minion. That's just a coincidence. Besides, maybe you've always had just $3.75. You've never been great with decimal points. I'm texting a lawyer.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-14 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-14 Pub. Date: 2018-05-14
Image Number: 171507
Caption: I'm filthy rich. Don't tell anyone. What? I've got 28 million so far. But I choose to live like a normal peon. 28 … million?? I can't believe what I'm hearing, little buddy. This changes … wait … 28 million what? Rudycoins. It's a cryptocurrency I created in the john last night.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-06 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-06 Pub. Date: 2018-05-06
Image Number: 170676
Caption: One peppermint shake, two straws. Oh no. We're back together again. In fact, make that just one straw. We'll share it. I don't want anything to separate us ever again. Two. What are you trying to do, sugar-puss, give me the mouth-herpes you caught form that Sheila? I told you, daffodil-bottom, that wasn't mouth-herpes, it was just a sore where I'd accidentally bitten my lip. And I would never have even been with Sheila if you hadn't just ditched me for that hobo. Biff Manly is a sailor who lives in a houseboat. He's not a hobo ... dear. Do you have any drinks that taste like the high seas? Leave me out of this! I see you've got a drink called The Sheila. We'll. Have. That.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-26 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-26 Pub. Date: 2018-04-26
Image Number: 170878
Caption: What do you mean you want me to vote illegally this November? I'm registered. Yes … but Ernesto isn't. Ernesto Mumumba Chang Yurchenkovitz is an illegal immigrant who tunneled his way across the Atlantic to vote for tax-raising liberal café regulators. Report to the alley at two a.m. Someone who's definitely not me will leave you a big fake mustache, a Yo Soy Ernesto t-shirt, and an ISIS membership card. When you're caught voting, public sentiment will swing our way. You have some never asking me to do this after refusing to let me take a potty break. Stop whining. My inside man at ICE will make sure you're probably not deported.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-24 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170876
Caption: I'm thinking of moving to New York so I can vote for Governor Cuomo in the primaries. Cynthia Nixon is his challenger. You know … Miranda from Sex and the City. She's the progressive, and he's the establishment Democrat. I've always wanted to be part of an establishment. You sure this isn't 'cause you're still mad at how Miranda treated Steve on Sex and the City? You don't tell a man to hurry up mid-lovin'. Who does that??
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-23 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-23 Pub. Date: 2018-04-23
Image Number: 170875
Caption: Boss, I got your memo about the café's new patrons-only bathroom policy. Good. One question: Why's it say this only applies to scared people? You're aware of the recent Starbucks news? Their mistake was they engaged in negative discrimination. My studies show positive discrimination actually boosts customer retention. Now get back out there, and when you hand a patron the potty key, don't for to say this is only for the brave! I've been saying that. But it just makes them afraid to go in there.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-22 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-22 Pub. Date: 2018-04-22
Image Number: 170203
Caption: Of course I can get you a double-caffeine espresso. You … you can? Coffee King. You mean my usual café hasn't blacklisted me throughout the tri-county area like they said they did? You mean to tell me my cardiologist and my crabby wife haven't sent every cafe do not serve this man posters like they said they did? Well in that case, hurry up and give it to me before the old battleaxe finds a parking spot! Oh, don't worry. There's a convention next door. She'll be circling the block for hours. How do you like your gentle-flower chamomile tea? People who double-park should burn forever in the fiery pits of hell.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-21 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-21 Pub. Date: 2018-04-21
Image Number: 170597
Caption: So what happens when you told Armstrong you wouldn't recite that Sinclair Broadcasting script? Oh, nothing. Sinclair sued me for everything I own, that's all. But the joke's on them: I've set up different LLC's for every aspect of my life. So all they could get were the assets of the LLC that they paid. This opens up a whole world of possibilities. I knew forming Rudy-has-next-to-nada LLC was a good idea. I am going to miss my ten cents and my broken wiffle ball, though.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-20 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-20 Pub. Date: 2018-04-20
Image Number: 170596
Caption: How come when I ordered my coffee, you told me the deep state is out to get our president? Because it is, Randy. Also, all news about dear leader is fake, except for the news that tells you about how all the news is fake. What? What are you doing? Did the boss put you up to this? That's fake news. Did your boss happen to strike a deal with Sinclair Broadcasting? Also, white supremacists aren't all that ba -- Oh, I just can't do it.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-19 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-19 Pub. Date: 2018-04-19
Image Number: 170595
Caption: The March Kaiser Family Foundation study showed that 59% of Americans now favor Medicare-for-all. That's almost 60%! When asked if they'd favor it if people were still allowed to buy private supplemental insurance, the number skyrocketed to 75%. This ruins everything. I was used to calling it a leftist position. But if most people want it, isn't it now the centrist position? Don't panic, little buddy. Political labels are about mockery, not accuracy. That sounds awfully leftist of you.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-18 this 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-18 Pub. Date: 2018-04-18
Image Number: 170594
Caption: Boss, is the air conditioning broken? It just plummeted to about 30 degrees. That's awful. It was supposed to gradually fall to 30 degrees. Gradual temperature declines boost sales of hot drinks by 17%. But rapid declines make people leave. This can't be legal. Hold on, I'm setting the Ecobee to emergency blast furnace.
     
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