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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about thinking.

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-10-03 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163535
Caption: The Search is on for Tom Price Replacement. C'mon, we've got binders of sadistic doctors. Look harder! But we need someone who has no regard for the taxpayer' loves or their money. Most of these doctors are normal decent people … What is wrong with them? I think we have to face it. We may never find another Tom Price. Drat the luck ... Not as easy as you think ... Wait a minute ... Here's a possibility. Males, creepy, really, no really, very. Do not re-cycle.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-09-06 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-09-06 Pub. Date: 2017-09-06
Image Number: 162553
Caption: To Rebuild or Not to Rebuild. What do you think, honey? The weather says it's gonna rain some more. That there is nothin' but fake news. I say we stay here. Texas.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-29 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-29 Pub. Date: 2017-06-29
Image Number: 159971
Caption: Mr. McConnell Goes on 4th of July Break. Naturally, while on break I'll be thinking about ways of moving the health care bill forward … I'll be using my skills as a legislator and mater of the Senate rules. I'll be trying to get the best health care plan for the American people and so on. Hmmm ... Dark in here.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-23 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-23 Pub. Date: 2017-06-23
Image Number: 159701
Caption: Who Objected to Trump's visit to England? The Queen? No … I had no objections. I think your hat is lovely.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-18 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-18 Pub. Date: 2017-06-18
Image Number: 159610
Caption: President's Lawyer Gets a Lawyer and then … Well, as the president's lawyer … Good, but as your lawyer I would advise … Naturally as the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer I have to add to that … And as your lawyer, I must caution … Looking at the situation as the presidents lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer ... Well, as your lawyer and therefore the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer ... I must say as the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's ... And as the president's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyer. Run it by legal. Maybe. Hmm ... What d'you think?
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-05-26 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-05-26 Pub. Date: 2017-05-26
Image Number: 158591
Caption: Housing Secretary Ben Carson Says Poverty is a "State of Mind". But ma … the reason we don't have any money is 'cause you think we don't have any money …
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-18 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-18 Pub. Date: 2017-04-18
Image Number: 157244
Caption: Mike Pence Visits the Korean Border. Wow! Mr. Vice President! That is the meanest expression of defiance I have ever seen used on an enemy! Leadership and raw courage! If Kim Jong Un sees that, he'll be thinking twice! What's that? He has seen it? He's ready to negotiate? He chokes on his kimchi? Pence.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-04-01 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-04-01 Pub. Date: 2017-04-01
Image Number: 156638
Caption: A Reminder to All Who Think Baseball Can Only be Played by Millionaires. You can Actually Play Baseball Yourself With Some Friends. It's Quite a Lot of Fun.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-05 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-05 Pub. Date: 2017-03-05
Image Number: 155342
Caption: Baseball May Lose Players to Immigration Sweeps. Strike three? I think we need to check that guy's papers!
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-04 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-04 Pub. Date: 2017-03-04
Image Number: 155262
Caption: Meanwhile, in Texas … No. Nope None at all. Y'know, I wuz jes' thinkin', ol' Rick Perry ain't said anything crazy for a while. Ah know … somethin' must be wrong. Ah think American people jus' have to be patient.
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-02-03 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-02-03 Pub. Date: 2017-02-03
Image Number: 154224
Caption: Pentagon and Intelligence People Left Out of White House Strategy Meetings. First I think we need to redesign all our uniforms! Right. Fantastic uniforms, tremendous uniforms. Ok, we're talking military policy. You guys can get lost. War comics.
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-01-31 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-01-31 Pub. Date: 2017-01-31
Image Number: 154141
Caption: Mr. Trump and Mr. Bannon on National Security. What d'ya think, Steve? Terrorist …
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-11-27 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-11-27 Pub. Date: 2016-11-27
Image Number: 151709
Caption: Ivanka Is Troubled Because Her Designer Clothes and Accessories Aren't Selling. Now, you can't let things get you down. Think of Trump Airlines, Trump Men's Clothes, Trump Steaks, Trump Vodka, Trump University, Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Casinos .. .and then sooner or later you get lucky!
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-28 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-28 Pub. Date: 2016-10-28
Image Number: 150423
Caption: Pentagon Demands Signing Bonuses Back From Soldiers After they Return From War Zone. Well, yes, it was our mistake. But think how much more patriotic you look to the folks back home. Pento.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-20 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-20 Pub. Date: 2016-10-20
Image Number: 150125
Caption: Melania is Mad. I am hating on thees Beely Boosh! He ees make thee bad veedeeo of my hoosbin, saying thee bad theengs. My hoosbin is like a little boy. Sometimes he theenks he ees een the locker room at hees school weeth these other leetle boys. So they are talkeeng about many theengs. Sometimes they talk about thee poosee? Poor leetle poosee. What! Dammit! Do I have to do everything abour here? Feed the dog? Feed the cat? Clean the pool ...
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-09-03 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-09-03 Pub. Date: 2016-09-03
Image Number: 148404
Caption: The Mission. Ok, bomb the YPG buy make it look like the PKK are being backed by the KDP not the PUK, unless you can support the PKK and make the YPG think Turkey is backing the PUK-backed KDP, who think that we are supporting the Turkey-backed anti-Kurdish pro-Russian forces, fighting the Syrian rebels loyal to you-know-who and whathisname from Ramalamastan ... And if you are killed or captured the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your mission ... USAF.
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-22 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-22 Pub. Date: 2016-08-22
Image Number: 147842
Caption: Kellyanne Conway, Dog Trainer. Was it you who did poop on the carpet? Was it? Hmmm? I think it was. Well, what are we going to do about that? Hmmm? What? Are we going to apologize? Are we going to say we're sorry? Are we going to say we are very sorry we were a bad dog? Are we? I think we are. Oh yes ... I think we are.
     
19. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-27 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-27 Pub. Date: 2016-07-27
Image Number: 146748
Caption: Some Think Donald Trump is The New Manchurian Candidate. Seen the Red Queen yet, Donald? Nothin' to see here, move along Pooty.
     
20. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-07 think 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 146017
Caption: Mr. Ailes and Mr. Murdoch discuss women. Wow ... Look at the Rupert. You think she'd sleep with me? That's my new girlfriend. I'll ask her.
     
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