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Rudy Park

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161. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-09 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-09 Pub. Date: 2015-06-09
Image Number: 128137
Caption: I hear you're running for president as a Republican, Rudy. It's the latest thing. Well, do you have a Sugar Dadd - I mean, a "billionaire patron" yet? What do you mean? It's a well-known fact that Republican candidates who poll in the single digits can compete very well if they're either wealthy or backed by someone who's wealthy. I've been wanting to back my own stooge. It's the latest thing. New announcement, everyone: I'm dropping out of the race.
     
162. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-19 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-19 Pub. Date: 2015-05-19
Image Number: 127260
Caption: I've figured out why Vladimir Putin is so belligerent toward us. It's his last name. In the west, it's been the subject of jokes for decades. A thing like that would make anyone cranky and hostile, and eager to punish anyone who doesn't take them seriously. Good point. I remember in grade school, there was a kid named "Ima Stinkbottom." She became an IRS auditor. I rest my case.
     
163. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-14 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-14 Pub. Date: 2015-05-14
Image Number: 126890
Caption: Facebook is an awesome thing but it's got one big flaw that makes it really horrible and dangerous. What's that, little buddy? If you have a public fan page, you can't block a stalker from reading it and posting to it. You can "ban" them from seeing your personal profile, but they can still see your fan page. it's downright criminal that Facebook allows that to happen. Why on earth do you have a "fan page"? Just 'cause no one knows who I am doesn't mean I'm not famous.
     
164. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-13 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-13 Pub. Date: 2015-05-13
Image Number: 126889
Caption: Rudy, you're good with kids. Sit down, I need your advice. Sure thing, boss. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. If a girl scout asked me if she could set up a cookie stand outside the café … What would be the most kid-friendly way to serve her with a cease and desist order? Are you serious? I was thinking of having the process server dress up as Big Bird.
     
165. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-08 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-08 Pub. Date: 2015-05-08
Image Number: 126578
Caption: I just edited your Wikipedia entry. Tap tap tap tap tap. So what, loser? So? According to Wikipedia, you're now a convicted felon who holds the world record for stinkiest armpit. That's the first thing that shows up now whenever anyone searches for "Sadie Cohen." Oh no, people I'll never meet and who I don't give a !@#$ about may think poorly of me. However will I cope? Spoken just like a felonious stink-pit.
     
166. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-11 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-11 Pub. Date: 2015-04-11
Image Number: 125279
Caption: Do you believe in global warming? No, because it snowed last winter. The whole thing's a hoax. Just like the so-called "moon landing". I can't do this. I'm telling you, respecting different opinion triples your dating pool. I'm not that good a swimmer. Maybe a big pool's a bad idea.
     
167. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-05 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-05 Pub. Date: 2015-04-05
Image Number: 124320
Caption: Rudy, gas prices are rising again. I bet somehow this is bad news for me. I suppose you're wondering how that affects the café. Uh … sure. Well, did you know that a great many products are made from oil? Such as plastic? And did you know that, for a brief time, manufacturers would actually pay people to cart away all their plastic shavings? ... And did you know that it's much cheaper to cut coffee grounds with plastic shavings than to serve pure coffee? Theoretically, of course, I would never do such a thing. Anyhow, our profit margins have plummeted 0.02%, so I'll have to cut your pay. Yes! I just won a bet!
     
168. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-29 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-29 Pub. Date: 2015-03-29
Image Number: 124105
Caption: I'm unpoor! You're what? You're looking at an employed man. After seven years of unemployment, I just got a job at Walmart. It pays slightly more than minimum wage. Congrats. The first thing I'm going to do with my new-found wealth is buy a new pair of undies. I haven't bought a new pair of undies since 2007. The second thing I'll do is pay down the interest on the principal on one of my credit cards. America is back, baby!
     
169. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-27 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-27 Pub. Date: 2015-03-27
Image Number: 124713
Caption: It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. My son's expressing curiosity about … well … you know. I'm worried that maybe it's time to have the talk. How do I tell him about … you know … without making it seem like a good thing? I don't want him to go out and … you know. I just want him to know how the ... you know ... works with the ... you know ... without making him want to go out and ... you know. Maybe you should buy him a book and call it a day. I don't know ...
     
170. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-17 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-17 Pub. Date: 2015-03-17
Image Number: 124315
Caption: Rudy, stop thinking about it. What? Stop thinking about how Google and Apple are competing in the phone business, music, mobile search. Do no obsess about how these two hip symbols of consumer friendliness are cutthroat businesses that could shred one another in the name of profits. I've make a list of things you shouldn't worry about. I take mild solace you used the phrase "mobile search."
     
171. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-03-15 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-03-15 Pub. Date: 2015-03-15
Image Number: 123477
Caption: I can't wait till the Entourage movie comes out. Me an' my boys are going to see it opening day. You and your "boys"? What "boys"? You don't have any "boys." Of course I've got "boys." Every main character is surrounded by a group of friends. They may make fun of each other, they may get each other into trouble once a week. But they're always there for each other. I'm the main character in my life. Not really. "Main characters" make things happen; they don't just sit back and let things happen TO them. You're more of an extra in your life. Every time I post a selfie, I get at least 30 "likes." Would an extra get anywhere near 30 "likes"? I stand corrected. You're not an extra. You're just the cameraman.
     
172. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-26 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-26 Pub. Date: 2015-02-26
Image Number: 123474
Caption: I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.
     
173. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-14 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-14 Pub. Date: 2015-02-14
Image Number: 122757
Caption: I can't stand old "Star Trek." There's just way too much talking and not enough blowing stuff up. Well, your problem, little buddy, is you didn't give it enough time to grow on you. You're judging it superficially. Not true. I've seen every single episode of every series and all the movies in the last five hours. Fast-forwarding through things doesn't count as "watching" them. I think it was Shakespeare who said "a meadow that isn't just as lovely from the window of a bullet train isn't lovely at all."
     
174. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-12 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-12 Pub. Date: 2015-02-12
Image Number: 122755
Caption: I so completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus. How am I wrong? You're wrong, because every day we manage dozens of alerts, emails, texts, channels, websites, blogs and social networks. We've evolved into a species of jugglers, Randy. Jugglers have to have tremendous nevermind. "Tremendous nevermind"? This is just way too long to have one conversation about the same thing.
     
175. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-06 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-06 Pub. Date: 2015-02-06
Image Number: 122490
Caption: You've reached Randy, The Dating Doctor. What ails you? My girlfriend. She's always dressing me in clothes I don't like, combing my hair in a way I don't like, and trying to get me to do things I don't like to do. That’s because she was impatient. Instead of finding the man of her dreams, she decided to just turn you into the man of her dreams. Run while you're still you. She replaced my running shoes with flip-flops.
     
176. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-03 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-03 Pub. Date: 2015-02-03
Image Number: 122487
Caption: Would it be wrong to use Microsoft's hololens to project the faces of cool celebrities onto my boring real friends? Of course that'd be wrong. People are not interchangeable things. We're individuals. Every person is a unique mix of traits, opinions, beliefs, tastes, idiosyncrasies, faults, goals, intellect, desires, potential and dreams. You can project someone's image, but you can't project their soul. Would it still be wrong if the famous person I was projecting was Kate Upton? YES.
     
177. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-02-02 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-02-02 Pub. Date: 2015-02-02
Image Number: 122486
Caption: You're all smiles today, little buddy. What's up? The Hololens. What's a "Hololens"? Goggles that project holograms and computer interfaces on top of everyday things. Next time I'm sitting on a crowded bus and someone's rump is right in front of me, I can turn it into a tv screen. Or play solitaire on it. I've been waiting for this tech my whole life. Can I project smiles onto the grouchy?
     
178. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-27 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-27 Pub. Date: 2015-01-27
Image Number: 122182
Caption: I haven't seen you look at your Me-phone for five whole minutes. What gives? It's not what you think. I'm still important. I still get alerts every few seconds that remind me and everyone around me that I have things going on. It's just that my phone's charging right now. I swear. Well, I'll help you out in the meantime ... Alert: Constant alerts don't make you a "somebody," you loser! Thanks. That helps.
     
179. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-22 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-22 Pub. Date: 2015-01-22
Image Number: 121923
Caption: Time moves so fast when you're older. No, it moves more slowly. No, it moves fast. You remember things that happened ten years ago as if they happened yesterday. No, it moves slowly. Every day is a tedious, endless moebius strip of boredom, punctuated only by the occasional argument. You win. This talk feels like it's going on forever. I feel like I've been winning for a million years.
     
180. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-01-16 thing 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-01-16 Pub. Date: 2015-01-16
Image Number: 121463
Caption: What if history had turned out differently? I've often wondered the same thing. What if the nuclear tests had happened at a different Marshall Island, other than Bikini Atoll? The bikini could've very well been called "the Rongerik." or "the Enewetak." or "the Rongelap." The possible perturbations boggle the mind. I meant something more important. ... Like how if Nintendo had adopted compact discs, the Playstation never would've happened.
     
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