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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-30 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-30 Pub. Date: 2018-08-30
Image Number: 173798
Caption: Ask Sadie. Sadie, You are so hot!!! What is your secret for keeping that fine form???? - Matt in Anaheim. Actual reader letter. Donuts. You eat lost of donuts? No, you idiot. I wait until they get stale as rocks and then I throw them at idiots. Duck, fitness jockey! Incoming! Ask Sadie at asksadishow@gmail.com
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-18 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-18 Pub. Date: 2018-08-18
Image Number: 173526
Caption: So we're back on the air. Seems like it. Our ratings are soaring. People can still send me questions at asksadieshow@gmail.com and I'll send them scathing answers insulting their utter stupidity. What if they want kind and thoughtful responses? Ask that whiner Dr. Laura. (Seriously, ask Sadie).
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-21 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-21 Pub. Date: 2018-07-21
Image Number: 172986
Caption: Summarizing the obvious: The gang, lost in Nowheresville, Utah, was saved by the spirit of Sadie Cohen, warning them how to get to safety. But how, and why? Stow it. Sadie and her spirit couldn't stand the idea of being without us. It would've left her with no one to despise. I feel so needed. My spirit is on lockdown!!!
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-02 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-02 Pub. Date: 2018-07-02
Image Number: 172752
Caption: Can we take your van to Arizona to protest the immigration law? Conflicted. You support this despicable law? It's like this: More immigrants means more competition for chicks. Latin men are handsome so if we create a mean and hostile place for immigrants and drive them away, my odds get better. DOUBLY despicable!! Immigration policy is tricky stuff.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-29 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-29 Pub. Date: 2018-06-29
Image Number: 172520
Caption: Want to get into the van? Hih? WE're road tripping to Arizona. We're gonna protest the onerous immigration laws. We'll innundate the man with papers showing we're citizens, then burn them and inhald of smoke of peaceful resistance. They have big TVs there. Dibs on the Netflix queue!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-13 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-13 Pub. Date: 2018-06-13
Image Number: 172242
Caption: Armstrong told me to get all our regulars to show up. What for, you miserable dork? Tap tap tap tap tap. I'm not supposed to tell people what a horrible calamity's about to strike. He said not to panic anyone if I care about them … Well played, cretin. I just texted what I told you to the guy who audited me.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-12 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-12 Pub. Date: 2018-06-12
Image Number: 172241
Caption: Meanwhile at a café in neighboring Canardville … Have you gathered all the regulars and local animals two-by-two, minion? You were serious about that, boss? Totally unrelated topic: Let's say thousands of years ago, a big oil company was bribing a local shopkeeper to let them use his basement. Let's call him ... oh, I don't know ... Noah. Let's say big oil was using Noah's Cafe to conduct an illegal fracking operation. Let's say this type of mining is ... a tad risky ... and let's say big oil assured Noah that his cafe would be the one place in town that wouldn't cave in. Very very bad man.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-07 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-07 Pub. Date: 2018-06-07
Image Number: 172098
Caption: Given enough time, audiences know what to expect, Rosencrantz. And with expectation comes acceptance. Give them crudty, and that is what they will accept. Give them erudition, and they will rise to accept that. Feed them a diet of lies, and they will learn to crave them. I still would prefer to eat my sandwiches before you've chewed them. Give it time.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-30 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-30 Pub. Date: 2018-05-30
Image Number: 171959
Caption: I've been playing around with deep fake technology. I took photos of everyone who ever bullied me … and I mapped them onto the little Sims in Simcity. Well, that's only the second most disturbing thing I've heard people doing with that tech. Every time they try to go home, I demolish their homes. Then they drive around in circles wondering what happened. HOJ. You don't think that's strange, do you? I don't judge.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-28 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-28 Pub. Date: 2018-05-28
Image Number: 171957
Caption: I just found out that all life on earth could end if we're ever hit by a huge gamma ray burst from some other galaxy. That sounds like sketchy information, little buddy. No, it's been verified. I typed in gamma ray burst hitting earth on Youtube, and got tons of videos about them killing us all. There was a single video disputing that, I assume. I heard that.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-24 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-24 Pub. Date: 2018-05-24
Image Number: 171809
Caption: Boss … I just got a memo saying you want me to work longer shifts. But I already work 18 hours a day. I need to sleep. Traitor. Spain is considering doing away with the siesta. No more mid-afternoon naps or three-hour lunch breaks. Spain is the most valuable ally we've ever had in the history of our country. We've got to stand by them by eliminating our own unnecessary frivolities. Very. Bad. Man. Also, Spain's minimum wage is about $5.87. e must stand with Spain.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-16 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-16 Pub. Date: 2018-05-16
Image Number: 171509
Caption: You'll never guess what happened, Randy. What's that? The cryptocurrency I created exploded last night. People are mining and trading like crazy. There are only 100 million Rudycoing in existence, and once they're gone, they're gone. Guess what I did? I bought you 1,000 of them before the public caught wind of it. Now you 1,000 coins are worth $15,000 each. I have not idea what any of that means, but it sounds like you're single-handedly destroying the whole world's economy. Once Rudycoins are all taken, I'm going to start Flippercoin. It's names after my goldfish.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-12 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-12 Pub. Date: 2018-05-12
Image Number: 171300
Caption: What's your question for Ask Sadie? Who do you thin has the best fries? McDonald's or Arby's? That depends. Which one is still fried in cattle grease? I know one or the other of them caved in to the anti-clogged-arteryists and switched to vegetable oil years ago. Health-fetishists ruin everything! Health isn't bad. Health is like everything else, too much of it is unhealthy!
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-08 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-08 Pub. Date: 2018-05-08
Image Number: 171296
Caption: I'm not convinced that the pyramids of Giza were built as tombs. Sure they were used as tombs, but for all we know, they were built far earlier by some other civilization, and the pharaohs just claimed credit for them. How do we know the pyramids weren't something far more high-tech, like for instance hydroelectric power generators for an advanced civilization? You tell me, how did you charge your cellphone back in 10,000 B.C.? Hydropower from the tears of dorks, here, let me show you ...
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-04 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-04 Pub. Date: 2018-05-04
Image Number: 171062
Caption: Hey little buddy, the pizza delivery guy's out there in the café looking for you. I told him where I was … please … please tell me you didn't order a pizza and tell them to deliver it to the men's room. Please tell me that. The bathroom is not a sanctuary. Ask him how badly he wants his tip.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-02 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-02 Pub. Date: 2018-05-02
Image Number: 171060
Caption: Did you clear all the homeless people out of the alley, minion? You were serious? They're people, not leaves. I can't just sweep them all away, boss. Housing is getting unaffordable. It's not their fault. Hmm … you may have a point, minion. They're a sign of the times. They lend the cafe authenticity. There must be a way to monetize them. Survey the customers. See how much they'd pay to take selfies with authentic 21st century Americans in the background. Very bad man.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-30 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-30 Pub. Date: 2018-04-30
Image Number: 171058
Caption: Hey boss, mind if I give the 3-day-old muffins to Homeless Harry instead of throwing them out? Are you insane? Do you have any idea how many people are becoming homeless and moving into the alley every day? Three years ago it was just Homeless Harry. But now it's also Wandering Wanda, Displaced Daryl, Desolate Davina, Forlorn Farzad, Dispossessed Dale, Outcast Oswald, Derelect Daphne, Exiled Evan, Refugee Rachel, Itinerant Irving, and Vagabond Vernon. Tomorrow it could be Yomeless You, you know. Yomeless isn't a word, so that's not possible.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-28 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-28 Pub. Date: 2018-04-28
Image Number: 170880
Caption: Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty sure I saw a TR-38 last night. I was lounging on my roof, bathed in the supple blue glow of my iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Apple Watch, laptop and mini TV. Like ususal. Suddenly, I had the inexplicable urge to turn them all off. That's when it came into view: A huge, black, triangle floating right over me. It began to vibrate, and suddenly a single thought was projected into my head. "Keep at least one of these things off please. Your gigantic wattage is messing with our warp drive." Could've been swamp gas.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-27 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-27 Pub. Date: 2018-04-27
Image Number: 170879
Caption: Ask Sadie. Dear esteemed Sadie: I live in Macau and I'm a big fan. Your country recently began bombing the country of Syria. It seems not to bother you that it's not exactly LEGAL. What do you say about the opinion polls for the past many years? When asked what is the greatest threat to world peace, people all over the world consistently say "the United States." I continue to hold you in great esteem. - Liayanyo Huang. WHERE ARE THESE INGRATES? WE OUGHTA "ESTEEM" ON OVER THERE AND LIBERATE THEM. I mean - Thank you for writing. Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-25 them 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-25 Pub. Date: 2018-04-25
Image Number: 170877
Caption: Senator Kamala Harris isn't exactly winning over progressives, she's refusing to refuse giant corporate donations. Progressives hate that. She said as long as we have rules that make us disclose the donors, then the voters will know, and so what's the problem? Sound logic. Voting for her anyway doesn't mean we refuse her for refusing to refuse them. I suspect if we accept that she accepts bribes, that just means we're neglecting to inspect our elected. Fine, except I expect you to accept that I take exception to that.
     
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