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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-19 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-19 Pub. Date: 2018-07-19
Image Number: 172984
Caption: Lost for several days on a dusty road in Utah, the café gang turned savage. No feeling was spared. No truth too brutal to tell. But then … Stop … If we're going to die here, let us not be divided. Let us acknowledge the common humanity that binds us and makes us better than other losers who would perish with less dignity. A final peaceful thought. We are superior. To other creatures. And Blackberry users.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-24 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-24 Pub. Date: 2018-06-24
Image Number: 172094
Caption: A word, filthbag. What'd I do? Confess and I'll make it easy on you! Honestly, snookums, I've no idea what you're talking about. I ate the last lemon cookie! That's it? Yeah. I'm sorry. Wait, what'd you mean: that's it? You don’t have something in mind? My ambiguous accusatory voice and glower usually turns up more than that. I'll ramp it up tomorrow, love bug. Okay, snookums. Judge ye not what works for others.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-26 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-26 Pub. Date: 2018-05-26
Image Number: 171811
Caption: You short-changed me when I paid for my drink last week. Are you sure? Of course I'm sure. You gave me change for $10, but I know I gave you more than a ten-dollar bill. Sorry about that. How much did you give me? I distinctly remember I had nothing but $1,000 bills in my wallet. Not falling for it.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-07 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-07 Pub. Date: 2018-05-07
Image Number: 171295
Caption: I read an article on Candorville.com about how we might not be the first advances civilization on earth. There's evident that mankind was far more advanced than we thought, but it was blown back into the stone age by some huge cataclysm. A lot of scientists disagree, but why else would mankind build 200 immense underground cities all around the world, if not to survive a cataclysm? I'm starting to think you just like saying the word cataclysm. I also read that we're cataclysmically overdue for another cataclysmic-level cataclysm.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-18 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-18 Pub. Date: 2018-03-18
Image Number: 169018
Caption: The James Webb telescope is going to change everything. How so, cretinous oaf? It's going to let us see much farther into deep space than ever before. And the farther we see, the further back in time we're seeing. Do you understand what this means, Sadie? I don't have all day. Get to the point dweeb! It means we'll see the earliest stars and galaxies there ever were. We may even see all the way back to the Big Bang itself. We'll finally know for certain whether it was you. Busted. That singularity had it coming.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-21 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-21 Pub. Date: 2018-02-21
Image Number: 168668
Caption: How can you be so heartless?! I have half a mind to tweet about this! Pardon? A bus full of tiny orphan broke down down the hill. It was on the news. Yet you didn't offer them any food. How would this look for your café if you totally ignored them in their time of need? If you'd like to prepare some tuna croissants, I'd be more than happy to haul them down there for you. Not falling for it.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-20 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-20 Pub. Date: 2018-02-20
Image Number: 168667
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, we discuss one topic: Starman, the mannequin Elon musk launched into space in a car. Speaking of Musk … the year was 1973. Unbeknownst to the world, NASA sent one final Apollo mission, to broker a peace treaty with the aliens Apollo 17 had stumbled upon. Those aliens were muskier than a herd of yaks, and I told them so! They took offense, and I told them it's not my fault you're so thin-skinned! So that's why we haven't been back in fifty years. How was I to know they'd consider that racist?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-08 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-08 Pub. Date: 2018-02-08
Image Number: 168189
Caption: I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper. What's that? It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves. I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything. They say if you love your work, you never work a day in your life. HOJ. To each his own, I guess. I love everything about shopping. From the seductive open sign, to the supple checkout lines.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-28 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-28 Pub. Date: 2018-01-28
Image Number: 167103
Caption: You've reached Trump. At last! We've finally reached the leader of your blue rock. We come bearing scientific advances. You're so boring. Listen to you. I fail to understand your form of greeting. I-fail-to-understand-your-form-of-greeting … I prefer people who understand, that's all I'll say. We don't need your scientific advances. I don't know where you're from. You're all dangerous, bloodthirsty monsters. Although some of you, I assume, are good people. I say we blow up this geographic area and try another. Go ahead, Rocket-Man, I can blow you up bigger than you can blow us up. Believe me.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-07 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-07 Pub. Date: 2018-01-07
Image Number: 166399
Caption: That's not going to work. I don’t know what you mean, Randy. That guy over there is taking pictures of the café, probably to post on Yelp. Really? I hadn't noticed. You're standing several feet closer to him than I am so that you'll appear to be larger than me. Same trick they did in the Lord of the Rings films to make Gandalf appear to be much larger than the hobbits. Nonsense, I resent that accusation. I'm standing right in front of you. So ... what can I get you, Randy? I am not slowly inching to my left. You're right. You're quickly inching to your left. Thank you for admitting I'm right.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-05 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-05 Pub. Date: 2018-01-05
Image Number: 166789
Caption: Randy, if you could be any superhero, which one would you be? I'd be Randy-Man. He came to earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. He's slower than a speeding bullet, because he takes his time in all things. He can change the course of a lady's evening with a single smile. I don't think The Avengers would have much use for Randy-Man.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-23 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-23 Pub. Date: 2017-12-23
Image Number: 166300
Caption: There's nothing more beautiful than a full battery.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-06 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-06 Pub. Date: 2017-12-06
Image Number: 165717
Caption: Rudy, how come you're not wearing the new uniform? You were serious? You seriously want me to dress like a robot? Of course I do, minion. My nightly perusal of customers' web searches indicates most of them are feeling a bit antisocial lately. They'd probably buy more coffee from a robot than a human. Oh wait ... new web searches coming in. I'm going to need you to dress like a sexy robot. Very bad man.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-30 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-30 Pub. Date: 2017-11-30
Image Number: 165443
Caption: Is it true that celery has negative calories? Sorry, little buddy. There are six calories in one stick of celery. We burn 11 calories per hour chewing. It takes one minute to chew a stick of celery. Divide 11 by 60 and you get a lard-burn rate of only 0.183 calories per stick. So you're still consuming more than five calories per stick. What if I chew the stick for a whole hour straight?
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-19 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-19 Pub. Date: 2017-11-19
Image Number: 164536
Caption: Harrison Ford, no question. Tom Selleck. Without a doubt. I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." I don't care if they did offer Selleck the role first, Ford was a much better "Indiana Jones." Ford was ok, but his character was less that manly. What are you talking about? That's ridiculous! Harrison Ford was the definition of eighties manliness! You're telling me the "definition of eighties manliness" could run around the world for weeks and months at a time ... and never once grow anything more than a little stubble? I think maybe you're a little biased about the whole "big giant mustache" issue. Likewise, my patchy little stubbly friend. On matters of great import, even the philosophers must sometimes agree to disagree. Stop!!! All the greatest philosophers had big mustaches, you know.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-23 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-23 Pub. Date: 2017-10-23
Image Number: 164159
Caption: Another powerful man uses his position to sexually harass women. At least it's better than back in your day, right? I wouldn't know. You see, the ladies didn't talk much about that, except to say Mr. So-and-So was a cad, or Mr. So-and-So was all hands. And the fellas didn't talk about it either. Except to say Ms. So-and-So was stuck up, or Ms So-and-So was frigid. It's like your generation was talking in code. You knew it was serious when Ms. So-and-So said Mr. So-and-So did this-and-that.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-13 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-13 Pub. Date: 2017-10-13
Image Number: 163644
Caption: Go to the History Channel. I will not comply. My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you are just pretending to be interested in education programming. There is a 98% probability you will lose interest in less than one minute and change the channel. There is a 2% chance you will fall asleep before then and forget to turn me off. You don't know me! Your webcam tells me your bookcase holds 147 books you have never opened.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-20 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-20 Pub. Date: 2017-09-20
Image Number: 162862
Caption: Sadie, they say the Andromeda galaxy's on a collision course with outs, and it's a lot closer than it was when earth was first created. So what, dorkboy? Is that true? You're the perfect person to ask if it's really gotten closer. Was it even big enough to see in the sky, back in the hadean eon when you were a kid? You should've said "Jurassic era." Nobody know what "hadean eon" is. I give that sad attempt a 2 out of 5. Had they already invented 2 and 5 when you were a kid?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-21 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-21 Pub. Date: 2017-08-21
Image Number: 161806
Caption: I'll have a triple-vanilla white mocha and a powdered donut. Also, a Tiki torch. A Tiki torch? Home Depot refused to sell me one for some reason. Then they said "get out." Why would they do that? I don't know. Probably because I was wearing my sheet. But I thought "better safe than sorry." Oh ... Wait, what? At the Charlottesville Klan rally, those guys didn't wear theirs, and plenty of them lost their jobs 'cause of that. Get out.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-14 than 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-14 Pub. Date: 2017-08-14
Image Number: 161543
Caption: If there were one place on earth you'd never visit, where would that be, Randy? Easy: That would be McMurdo Station, Antarctica, little buddy. Nothing encourages hot snuggling more than being marooned in an icy wasteland. That would be a total waste of my skills of seduction. No challenge. I'd never visit the Mariana Trench. People don't live anywhere near there, and it's the deepest spot in the ocean ... so there'd be no wifi and not even satellite internet could reach it. We should have our own travel show.
     
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