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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-02 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-02 Pub. Date: 2016-11-02
Image Number: 150473
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, your ten-year-old grandson just groped me, said something lewd … and then told me if I can't take it, I shouldn't be in the business world. Yayle. CEO of the Year. 2002. My bad. I accidentally left a newspaper lying around, and he read some quotes from Donald Trump and his son. Now he wants to be just like them. "My bad" can't fix everything, sir. You're right. My bad.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-28 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-28 Pub. Date: 2016-08-28
Image Number: 147131
Caption: How's your boy? Lionel's amazing! I put his little shoe on him and was about to tie it … when all of a sudden he reached down with his tiny, pudgy little hands and tied them himself. Can you believe that?! He's only two years old - Most kids can't ties their shoes until they're at least five! He's so advanced! At this rate, by the time he's ten, my boy won't need me for anything!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-29 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-29 Pub. Date: 2016-04-29
Image Number: 142413
Caption: I'm proud of you, Lemont. You're a good dad. I am? You must be. We used to spend hours together. Now I only get to see you about ten minutes a day. … And when I do see you, you look horrible. It's like you save all your clothing-and-soap money for your boy. ... Thanks? (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-04-05).
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-20 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-20 Pub. Date: 2016-01-20
Image Number: 137946
Caption: Thanks for letting my son and me stay here for a while, Clyde. It's just too cold out there to make it home. It's so warm in here. It's almost like you have ten heaters going. I admit nothing. What did you do? Anything people put on the outside of they windows is free.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-24 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-24 Pub. Date: 2015-09-24
Image Number: 132815
Caption: You can jump five more times, or you can jump six more times before going to sleep. It's up to you. How many more times do you want to jump? Five or six? Five-oh-thix. "506" was not one of the options, son. Uh-huh, daddy. You thed it. One! … Two! … Fwee! ... Eight! ... Ten! ... Fouw! ... Eleven! ... This is going to be a long night.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-27 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-27 Pub. Date: 2015-07-27
Image Number: 130314
Caption: I'm tired of the media misquoting Donald Trump by playing video of the crazy stuff he says. What? How can they possibly misquote him by showing him talking? It's like how the camera adds ten pounds. It also adds ten degrees of crazy. The sneakiest way to misquote someone is to show them misquoting themselves.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-16 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-16 Pub. Date: 2015-07-16
Image Number: 129547
Caption: Well, we'd better get going. You can say that again. You were supposed to have said "Well, we'd better get going" again. That's how the banter is supposed to go. Predictable banter is the glue that binds society. You'd never last ten minutes in an office environment, Tyrone. I thought offending each other was the glue that binds us.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-03-26 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-03-26 Pub. Date: 2015-03-26
Image Number: 124644
Caption: If you could go back in time ten years, but you couldn't come back, and you would not be ten years younger … would you do it? Only if I were an idiot. But if you went into the past, you could invest wisely and get rich. Yeah, but I'd die ten years earlier. We may only be decades away from figuring out how to end aging, or how to upload our consciousness to immortal android bodies. If I die ten years early, I might miss out on that. You know that stuff would only be for rich people, right? I've got $8,000 in an IRA.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-25 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-25 Pub. Date: 2015-01-25
Image Number: 121082
Caption: What's this, Clyde? Your rehab list. My what? 12 steps to stop being a nerd. (1) Admit that watching Star-Track reruns is throwin' salt in my game. (2) Do everything C-Dog say to do. That's only two steps. Well yeh ... just repeat step two ten mo' times. First of all, it's Star "Trek." Come to think of it, I'm not even sure we need step one.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-30 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-30 Pub. Date: 2014-11-30
Image Number: 118798
Caption: Sometimes I wish my mom and all my ancestors had decided to have kids much later in life. What? Why? A few years ago, I read that a Harvard research team discovered a way to reverse the aging process in mice. That could lead to a cure for aging - a cure for death itself - just a few decades from now. If just my last ten generations of ancestors had waited till their forties to have kids, I wouldn't have been born till the year 2080, or so. If they'd each just kept it zipped for two measly decades, it's possible I'd get to be immortal. My own ancestors have condemned me to death. How thoughtless of them. Oh no ... I already have a son ... I've perpetuated the cycle of violence.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-27 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-27 Pub. Date: 2014-11-27
Image Number: 119347
Caption: Tampering with this mail will result in FEDERAL JAIL TIME. You have failed to enroll in Federal Debt Repayment Service. If you do not enroll with ten days, YOU WILL FACE PENALTIES.* *FDRS is a debt consolidation company not affiliated with the government, and we have no idea why you would think enrollment is mandatory. Enrollment is not mandatory. Lemont Brown.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-19 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-19 Pub. Date: 2014-11-19
Image Number: 118794
Caption: My baby boy's a genius. Whenever he gets hold of my iPhone, with just a few swipes he manages to delete all my photos and contacts. It would take me at least ten times as long to wreak as much havoc as he does in three seconds. Parents will be proud of anything. Yesterday, he launched my Wells Fraggo app and closed all my accounts without even looking.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-16 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-16 Pub. Date: 2014-09-16
Image Number: 116479
Caption: Hello, I'm you, from the future. I've come back in time to ask you not to buy that Starbucks coffee tomorrow. If you just make your coffee at home from now on, I'll have tens of thousands of dollars more to retire with. Also, when a police officer tells you to leave the park bench and demands to see your ID, do NOT tell him "I know my rights." I don't care how many white people you saw doing that on YouTube, YOU'RE NOT THEM. Zzzzz.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-27 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-27 Pub. Date: 2014-07-27
Image Number: 113450
Caption: How's your boy? Lionel's amazing! I put his little shoe on him and was about to tie it … … when all of a sudden he reached down with his tiny, pudgy little hands and tied them himself. Can you believe that?! He's only two years old - most kids can't tie their shoes until they're at least five! He's so advanced! At this rate, by time he's ten, my boy won't need me for anything!
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-03 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-03 Pub. Date: 2014-05-03
Image Number: 110714
Caption: I took Lionel to his first baseball game the other day. I hadn't been to a Candorville Chokers game since I was a kid. Back then, two Choker Dogs, Cokes and fries cost $8. Last night, it cost me $38. Back then, all the players were like ten years older than I was. But now, they are all like ten years younger. "National Pastime" my behind, it should be national "past my time." Baseball still around?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-05 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-05 Pub. Date: 2014-04-05
Image Number: 109566
Caption: I'm proud of you, Lemont. You're a good dad. I am? You must be. We used to spend hours together. Now I only get to see you about ten minutes a day. … And when I do see you, you look horrible. It's like you save all your clothing-and-soap money for your boy. ... Thanks?
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-15 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-15 Pub. Date: 2014-01-15
Image Number: 106173
Caption: Thanks for letting my son and me stay here for a while, Clyde. It's just too cold out there to make it home. It's so warm in here. It's almost like you have ten heaters going. I admit nothing. What did you do? Anything people put on the outside of they windows is free.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-08 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-08 Pub. Date: 2013-12-08
Image Number: 104376
Caption: "Stupid arguments" are the most important. But a parking spot? Dr. Noodle. Yes. She yelled at me for two hours! She felt belittled. If a parking spot is within ten feet of a hydrant, it's not a spot! It's a ticket-trap! She doesn’t understand these things! I parked right across the street, where I was more comfortable. What's wrong with that?! When you told her "that's not a spot," she heard "you're a woman, you don't know what you're talking about. Well tell her to use the English-to-English dictionary, not the English-to-history-of-gender-inequality dictionary.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-25 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-25 Pub. Date: 2013-07-25
Image Number: 99562
Caption: Well, we'd better get going. You can say that again. You were supposed to have said, "Well, we'd better get going" again. That's how the banter is supposed to go. Predictable banter is the glue that binds society. You'd never last ten minutes in an office environment, Tyrone. I thought offending each other was the glue that binds us.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-17 ten 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-17 Pub. Date: 2013-07-17
Image Number: 99242
Caption: It ain't easy eatin' healthy, big L. When you walk into Groceryville, whachoo see? Grape juice: $4.48. … Ten feet over, whachoo see? Grape DRINK … 65 cents. What do you care? You're always eating MY food. Don’t change the subject. Katrina's Ghost. Thug 4 Life.
     
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