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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-06-02 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-06-02 Pub. Date: 2019-06-02
Image Number: 177819
Caption: Summer is so beautiful on a 65-inch UHD TV.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-04-17 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-04-17 Pub. Date: 2019-04-17
Image Number: 177234
Caption: I said: Get me a @#$% coffee! You're healed. What saved you? I was watching the news and I saw you - on my tv - spending the night to buy a new iPhone as soon as they went on sale. Your mindless consumerism made me so @#$% angry, that I spontaneously healed so I could come back here and strangle you! Hand over that &@#$ iPhone, loser! No way, it's keeping you healthy.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-12 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-12 Pub. Date: 2019-03-12
Image Number: 176737
Caption: You're watching tv on a laptop?! That's so stupid. Watch it, windbag. You're talking about the latest big thing, tone of great programming available for free on the internet. Really? It looks to me like a bunch of skateboarders running into things, and dogs doing tricks. You and your internet are total losers! War.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-11 Pub. Date: 2019-03-11
Image Number: 176736
Caption: What're you doing? Watching tv. On your computer? Sure. There are tons of shows available for streaming over the internet. Let me rephrase. Why aren't you getting me the coffee I ordered?! When this season of Lost is over.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-21 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-21 Pub. Date: 2019-01-21
Image Number: 175962
Caption: I seek counsel, wise one. I have fallen for someone. She is beautiful, charming and smart. How can I demonstrate my affection? You were right to come here. My gift must scream true love. Let us start in TVs. Computer Villa Customer Service.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-19 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-19 Pub. Date: 2018-12-19
Image Number: 175494
Caption: You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-25 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-25 Pub. Date: 2018-11-25
Image Number: 174826
Caption: Tired of long-winded pundits overanalyzing the news? Your days of boring news talk shows are behind you! Welcome CNM viewers to a sizzling new concept in talk shows: No you are! I'm Brit Johnson, your host. Today's first topic, Health Care Reform. Joining me from the left, Damon Silver. From the right, Paula Doyle. Damon, your thoughts? It's complicated but I'll tell you what's obvious. Paula's all wrong. She's a decent person, but when it comes to health care, she's an idiot. No you are! No you are! No you are! Whoa, calm down. Keep it civil. Next up, the deficit. Paula? No you are! Love this show. No YOU are! I know you are but what am I?!
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-11-11 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-11-11 Pub. Date: 2018-11-11
Image Number: 174745
Caption: It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so hard to be good.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-12 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-12 Pub. Date: 2018-10-12
Image Number: 174419
Caption: Are you saying I have no control over when I upgrade my devices? In effect. You've got some kind of subconscious internal clock that drives you to regularly buy a new phone, or TV, or video game console. And there's nothing I can do about it? So it would seem. How freeing. Does this revelation come with a new credit line? Go away.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-10-10 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-10-10 Pub. Date: 2018-10-10
Image Number: 174417
Caption: Kindly readers, scientific literature has long established that women who spend a lot of time together synchronize their hormonal cycles. I believe I have discovered an analogous phenomenon in men. They too synchronize their cycles. What cycles? Their upgrade cycles! Look carefully, if you will, at the way men who like or work in close quarters seem to develop similar cycles for upgrading phones, televisions and other gadgets. I got a new phone! I got a new butter churn! He's right! Aaaahhh!!!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-22 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-22 Pub. Date: 2018-09-22
Image Number: 174111
Caption: For health reasons, we'll be watching only two hours a day of pre-election tv coverage. Oh, snookums … How sweet. You're so worried about me getting overly-taxed by intense political debate. Pshaw! That pipsqueak Olbermann gives me hives and Hannity is so physically hunky and so amazingly stupid that he confuses my hormones. I'm talking about my health, geezer! Too late, old bag! You just admitted you love me as much as I love you!
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-21 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-21 Pub. Date: 2018-09-21
Image Number: 174110
Caption: Which one of you devils sabotaged my television coverage? Randy, I know it wasn't you because you're too stupid to figure that out. Wrong! Really? You fell for that? Stupid, no; egoistic, to a fault.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-09-20 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-09-20 Pub. Date: 2018-09-20
Image Number: 174109
Caption: It's well a month before November and your uncle's already overdosed on pre-election tv coverage. Earlier than usual. We've got to cut his use. How? I've taken the liberty of messing with his television signal. I've switched up his channels. Help! You're not Keith Olbermann! Next: Iron Chef bakes with only rodent ears.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-29 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-29 Pub. Date: 2018-07-29
Image Number: 172980
Caption: This just in: There's nothing in. We here at CNM have finally realized why our ratings have been plummeting. For years, we billed ourselves as a 24-hour news channel. We gave unbiased reports on the major events of the day. But it turns out: There aren't that many major events. How many minor updates can we give you on a fire that takes place at a polygamist compound, or a northeast snowstorm or a traffic snarl? We can admit this because no one is listening. The 24-hour news channels have grown desperate and giddy. We're going to one hour of news, and 23 hours of political bickering and nude juggling.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-28 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-28 Pub. Date: 2018-04-28
Image Number: 170880
Caption: Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty sure I saw a TR-38 last night. I was lounging on my roof, bathed in the supple blue glow of my iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Apple Watch, laptop and mini TV. Like ususal. Suddenly, I had the inexplicable urge to turn them all off. That's when it came into view: A huge, black, triangle floating right over me. It began to vibrate, and suddenly a single thought was projected into my head. "Keep at least one of these things off please. Your gigantic wattage is messing with our warp drive." Could've been swamp gas.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-24 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-24 Pub. Date: 2018-04-24
Image Number: 170876
Caption: I'm thinking of moving to New York so I can vote for Governor Cuomo in the primaries. Cynthia Nixon is his challenger. You know … Miranda from Sex and the City. She's the progressive, and he's the establishment Democrat. I've always wanted to be part of an establishment. You sure this isn't 'cause you're still mad at how Miranda treated Steve on Sex and the City? You don't tell a man to hurry up mid-lovin'. Who does that??
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-15 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-15 Pub. Date: 2018-04-15
Image Number: 170066
Caption: Find me news about the Russiagate investigation. 841 news stories found. Specify date of broadcast. Today would be fine. Are you sure you would not rather see a broadcast from the future, when the results of the investigation are in? You can do that? Oh my god ... do you mean time isn't linear after all? Do you mean disembodied A.I. is free to move back and forth, like quarks can? I mean you should leave me alone until the results are in. (Sigh) fine ... Just show me anything that isn't about Russiagate. Processing ...
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-25 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-25 Pub. Date: 2018-01-25
Image Number: 167659
Caption: Rudy, it's come to my attention you were talking to patrons about "Star Wars" again. I don't think so … I did talk about Star Trek. Oh … I see. I love Star Trek. I'm not ashamed to admit that I've looked up to its main characters my whole life. Really? Which ones, Kirk? Spock? Picard? Data? Sisko? Who? No, I mean the Ferengi. The most greedy businessmen in the galaxy. In a whole galaxy of Communists, they kept the predatory capitalist torch burning. Unsung heroes. Very bad man.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-22 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167656
Caption: This week on Youtube, I counted 150,360 comments beneath 178 "Star Trek: Discovery" reviews. That's amazing. Yeah. And 49% of those comments were people saying the show is unwatchable. 1% of the comments are people asking if the show's unwatchable, how come you've been commenting on every episode and you're still here at episode 11? 50% of the comments are praise for the show. 30% of that 50% of the comments is from people pointing out that they used to only be 40%. I'm not sure the math god sanction this usage of numbers.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 television 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
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