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Rudy Park

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Result page:     (19 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-07 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-07 Pub. Date: 2017-05-07
Image Number: 157127
Caption: I've traveled back through time to warn: The aliens are here. Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology … depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies ... and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... my phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-01-21 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-01-21 Pub. Date: 2017-01-21
Image Number: 153433
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: The Talk. Specifically, how to have "the talk" with your younguns before they hear about it on the streets or from their president. The best thing to do is to use the tried and true Cohen method: Teach your child that within the pants of every member of the opposite sex lurks a monster that'll drain them of ambition, turn them into mindless automatons, and cause them to make fools of themselves. I'm talking, of course, about iPhones. Keep your younguns off the tweeter-machine!
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-29 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-29 Pub. Date: 2016-11-29
Image Number: 151569
Caption: I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But … but … but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great scott … it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I mean "Whatever. See you around."
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-24 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-24 Pub. Date: 2016-06-24
Image Number: 144913
Caption: Today's alpha-lesson is "Become a Vapor." Wherever you are, be it a broom closet or a baseball stadium, carry yourself as if your body fills the entire place. Greet people with you arms out wide. Have a wide stance. A booming laugh. A wide-open smile. Becoming a vapor is the best and most legal way to mark your territory.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-11 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-11 Pub. Date: 2016-05-11
Image Number: 143041
Caption: What's your earliest memory, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I was five years old. An alien crash-landed and I found it hiding in my closet. I befriended it and taught it to have fun. But eventually it got sick, and the government stepped in. That's when I helped the alien make its escape and reunited it with its parents. That sounds awfully familiar, Randy. I was a child. When some writer offered to option the story in return for a pack of Bubblicious, I thought it was a good deal.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-02-23 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-02-23 Pub. Date: 2016-02-23
Image Number: 139579
Caption: How many people do you think will mourn for you when you're dead, Randy? Good question, little buddy. I live out loud. I've ridden a motorcycle across five continents, making countless friends along the way. I've conducted passionate love affairs in six languages, and taught the ancient art of seduction to sold-out crowds in two hemispheres. As a youth I delivered pizza to lonely housewives, for whom I host an annual reunion in Vegas. A man who lives his life out loud will leave thousands of mourners when he dies. What about a man who lives his life on mute?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-18 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135390
Caption: I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press. Whatever, geek-boy. Tap tap tap tap tap. You're now the world's foremost authority on turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays. No one'll believe that. Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan. There is no "Crushistan." I've written a Wikipedia entry for Crushistan. You should teach a class on wasting time. Ring ring ring ring.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-16 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-16 Pub. Date: 2015-08-16
Image Number: 130397
Caption: Are you ok, Rudy? Yes. Fine. Just a flu I can't shake. Probiotics. You should be taking probiotics. And barnacles. Wait head is fuzzy. What'd you say? It's an old trick Ernie Hemingway taught me when we were out on the high seas. You don scuba gear, go down to the docks, and scrape barnacles off a ship hull. Then you sleep with them stacked on your forehead and in the morning you stir them into your third mojito. I use ginseng tea instead of mojitos. Works just as well. I haven't been sick a single day in the last 55 years. I think I'll just stick to Robitussin. You're a corporate tool!!! You've got barnacle breath.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-16 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-16 Pub. Date: 2015-06-16
Image Number: 128445
Caption: Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whole years to answer a question!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-03 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-03 Pub. Date: 2015-05-03
Image Number: 125630
Caption: Open Mike Night Presents Future Guy. They hitched rides in on Halley's Comet every time it's near. Living nanites masquerading as technology depending on the gullibility of you and me. 200,000 years of riding horses and buggies and suddenly we're 3-D printing tools and cars and trees? They're everywhere, just biding the time to finish their big plan. They're in your phones, your watch, your cars, and they are nearly done. The brain ... the AI ... will arrive ... in 2061. (July 28th to be exact ... that, my crew, is a natural fact). I'm warning you this way 'cause it's the only way, you see. For some reason, they get confused by rhymes and poetry. In short, I've come to warn you, evolution's happening. You want your kids to survive it? Teach them how to rap ... pening. That was close. Odd ... My phone lit up for no reason, and then went back to sleep.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-04-15 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-04-15 Pub. Date: 2015-04-15
Image Number: 125626
Caption: I'm dropping you. I'm no longer going to be your personal "alpha male" trainer. What?! But but but I need you, Randy! I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to teach me. I'm nothing without you. Nothing! Great Scott it's like you didn't even read chapter one: Reject the Rejector. I can see we have a lot more work to do. Um ... I meant "Whatever. See you around."
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-12-31 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-12-31 Pub. Date: 2014-12-31
Image Number: 120914
Caption: Many of you were confused about the "Randy's How to be an Alpha" lesson from yesterday: "Live like you've got nothing to lose." You know what? I don't care. If you don't get it, that's on you. If you want to hang out with the big dog, either keep up or get left behind. I hope that demonstration clears up the confusion. If not, I couldn't care less.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-10-27 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-10-27 Pub. Date: 2014-10-27
Image Number: 118263
Caption: It's the Dr. Sadie Advice Hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking your calls. You're on, Boise. What's your problem?! I dont know who to vote for. Who do I vote for? VOTE FOR WHOEVER WILL TEACH YOU NOT TO END A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION!! Oakland, you're on. What's your problem? My son just started dating. What should I brace myself for?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-07 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115314
Caption: Today's MAN LESSON is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never promise anything. Wait what do you mean? Pretend you're the lady. Ask me to promise you something. Ok (ahem) Promise me you won't ever even LOOK at another woman? A man would have to be CRAZY to look at another woman when he COULD be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-05 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-05 Pub. Date: 2014-09-05
Image Number: 115996
Caption: Have you ever met an Inuk, Sadie? A what? That's the singular word for "Inuit." The indigenous peoples who live in the Arctic. Oh, them. I'll put it this way According to Mother Cohen, there was a hot, steamy love-triangle left out of the documentary "Nanook of the North." I'll never forget how "Uncle" Nanook taught me how to properly taunt a walrus. Forget I asked.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-11 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-11 Pub. Date: 2014-05-11
Image Number: 110517
Caption: Mommy and daddy are arguing again. Sorry, little dude. But you shouldnt worry about it. But it's all my fault. That's a normal thought. Kids always think it's their fault. But it never is. It's not? No. But they're arguing over whether to punish me for driving daddy's lawn mower through Macy's. He has to take a third job to pay for all the damages. That's still not my fault? Nope. It's their fault for not having taught you not to drive a lawn mower through a department store. So when daddy blamed me when I threw all his photo albums in the river, he really should've blamed his own parenting? That's right. "The Childhood Loophole" has very few exceptions.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-05-07 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-05-07 Pub. Date: 2014-05-07
Image Number: 111087
Caption: You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies? I said "If you spend a year working out." Well, in this past year, I've run 18,000 miles and burned tens of thousands of calories. Accidentally leaving your phone's pedometer on all year doesn't count, little buddy. You didn't say that beforehand. Loophole. Maybe next year.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-04-03 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-04-03 Pub. Date: 2014-04-03
Image Number: 109632
Caption: Today on Ask Sadie, I'll be addressing one single question: Why do so many people who have not business raising kids, have kids? Why on earth would you bring a child into this world if you're not going to take the time to teach it not to trample it's neighbor's begonias? You're just asking for the child to be glued to your front door by its pants. Tomorrow on Ask Sadie: I'll be addressing how to properly ignore a court summons.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-03-12 teach 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-03-12 Pub. Date: 2014-03-12
Image Number: 108584
Caption: Do you think Hillary Clinton's going to run? I really hope she does. You're into politics? No, I'm just practicing. The ladies dig a man who's secure enough that he wouldnt mind being led by a woman. That's why all my life, I've only accepted jobs where the boss is a lady. Can you teach me how to perfectly combine "feminist" with "caveman," like you do? You're not ready.
     
Result page:     (19 images)