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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about taxes and taxing.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-27 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-27 Pub. Date: 2017-08-27
Image Number: 161361
Caption: Excuse me, sir, if it's not too much trouble … Hi, Democrats. What can I get you? Coffee Sandwiches? An explanation. We introduced our bold new plan last month: "A Better Deal," but the progressives still aren't impressed. What more could they ask for? We focus-group tested the heck out of the slogan. It was the least objectionable and least un-inspiring of the bunch! It evokes FDR's "New Deal" and LBJ's "Fair Deal" without over-promising. We don't want to risk over-promising. It even sounded progressive! We mentioned tax credits to retrains workers, a $15 minimum wage (eventually), regulating prescription drug prices, and busting monopolies, maybe. We even said we'd think about forming a committee to consider considering sing-payer health care, among many other more corporate-donor-friendly options that aren't single-payer. And we introduced it with an editorial vowing not to expand government or move our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum. Bold! So why didn't that fire up the progressive base? ... Hello?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-23 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-23 Pub. Date: 2017-04-23
Image Number: 156529
Caption: Hello, you've reached Sisyphus Mortgage. This is Ryan. How may I hinder you? I just got an ad saying you specialize in loans for self-employed people. I'm self-employed. I've taken all the tax deductions the law allows, so my income appears to be much smaller than it actually is. Is there any type of loan I'd qualify for? Of course. If you've got 24 months of bank statements that show you can easily afford the monthly payments, you may qualify for a "bank statement loan." I could get you bank statements. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we also need to see receipts proving that your expenses match your bank accounts. You do? ... O ... K ... I'll see if I can dig those up. Great! ... Oh, one more thing, we'll also need to see your business license. Ryan, how many "one more things" are there? Before I can answer that, I just need one more thing ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-04 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156466
Caption: Good game, Big L. You only put it in the wrong basket once. I was preoccupied, Clyde. Taxes are due. If I take too many deductions, my income'll look tiny and I won't qualify for a mortgage. I see, bruh. When we was kids, your excuse was "the sun was in my eyes." Also, I saw an unfamiliar mole and wondered if it was malignant.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-16 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-16 Pub. Date: 2017-02-16
Image Number: 154535
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed censored I can't believe I owe five censored thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when He's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-09 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-09 Pub. Date: 2017-01-09
Image Number: 153086
Caption: Taxville Tax Preparation. Put us down as "married, filing miserable."
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-06 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-06 Pub. Date: 2016-11-06
Image Number: 149972
Caption: I don't care about anything I've heard lately, I'm still voting for Donald Trump on Tuesday. Yeah, maybe he teaches young men it's ok to objectify and assault women. And maybe he teaches young women that they're worthless. But we're not electing a "role model." And sure, maybe he's a tad racist. But we're not electing a "sensitivity trainer." Sigh. Newsweak. And yeah, maybe he hasn't paid income taxes ever since "Pocahontas" was in theaters, but we're not electing a "Taxpayer in Chief." And sure, maybe he's far better at alienating people than he is at winning them over. But we're not electing a "leader." ... What? Nothing.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-09 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-09 Pub. Date: 2016-10-09
Image Number: 148825
Caption: Hello, you've reached Candorville county. This is Ryan 2.0. How may I hinder you? My son was mistakenly enrolled in Medicaid. I need him off that. Please listen carefully as our options may have changed. To discuss Medicaid eligibility, say "two." To report fraud, say "three." To report child or elder abuse, say "four." Two. To obtain a business license, say "five." "Two." To dispute a county tax lien or inquire about your property tax bill, say "six." "Two." To make a child support payment, say "seven." To send an inmate a care package, say "eight." "Two." I said TWO! TWO! TWO! TWO! Just put an actual person on the phone! That option is invalid. To purchase coroner gift shop merchandise, say "nine."
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-26 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-26 Pub. Date: 2016-03-26
Image Number: 140813
Caption: Taxville Tax Preparation. Can I claim my husband as a dependent since he never picks up after himself?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-25 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133804
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tried to change the subject by saying "Yeah but Ö black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but Ö your rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters biggern all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them asteroid craters?
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-17 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-17 Pub. Date: 2015-10-17
Image Number: 133797
Caption: Do you think clouds care about the government shutdown? Do you think the sun cares whether we believe we're contributing to climate change? Do you think the Milky Way cares whether we ever stop killing each other? We're all part of a vast cosmos, Susan. If the cosmos doesn't care about the little things, I don't see why I should. I still think you should open that letter the IRS sent you.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-16 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-16 Pub. Date: 2015-06-16
Image Number: 128377
Caption: I just read yet another article about teenage girls running away to join ISIS. It turns out that when ISIS advertises for new recruits on social media, they forget to mention the part about how they sell girls into slavery for as little as a pack of cigarettes. If the world can't beat them on the battlefield, maybe we can get them on false advertising. We got Al Capone on tax evasion, you know.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-02-12 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-02-12 Pub. Date: 2015-02-12
Image Number: 122692
Caption: You'we gwounded, daddy. Why? You thed a cuth wowd. I did not say a cuss word. Yeth you did! You thed (censored) I can't bewieve I owe five (censored) thouthand dollarth! What did daddy tell you about listening at his door when he's doing his taxes? You're grounded.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-12 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-12 Pub. Date: 2015-01-12
Image Number: 121384
Caption: Taxville Tax Preparation. Put us down as "married, filing miserable."
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-26 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-26 Pub. Date: 2014-10-26
Image Number: 117463
Caption: I've figured out why a lot of America's greatest cities are in decline. Why? Because I had some time on my hands while I was doing laundry Ö But that's not important right now. I'm gonna smash your "Airplane" dvd. Most people think it's only about the shrinking manufacturing and tax base ... but what they don't realize is, cities are living organisms. People are blood cells. Streets are arteries. Downtowns are the heart. The newspaper is the brain. Let's talk about "Airplane" again. You can't survive without a healthy brain, unless you're Congress.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-24 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-24 Pub. Date: 2014-07-24
Image Number: 114099
Caption: We're being overrun by illegals. You're gonna have to narrow that down. Do you mean jaywalkers? Embezzlers? Contractors who ignore environmental regulations? Bosses who ignore workplace safety laws? People who donít pick up after their dogs? People who cheat on their taxes? People who speed? People who litter? People who sing copyrighted songs like "Happy Birthday" in public without paying royalties? There are an awful lot of "illegals" out there. I think you know what I mean.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-12 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-12 Pub. Date: 2013-11-12
Image Number: 103799
Caption: Last week, you said if you earned $10 million in profit, and Obama raised your taxes to 50% you'd only take home $5 million. But that's not how our marginal tax rates work. Everyone's earnings are taxed exactly the same, whether you're a billionaire or a thousandaire. We all pay 10% on our first $8,500, 15% on earning between $8,500 and $34,500, 25% only on the portion between $34,500 and 83,600, and so on. If there were a 50% bracket, it would only be the 50% of the very top part of your income. On what page of the Communist Manifesto did you find all this? (This cartoon was published originally on 11/5/2011).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-02 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-02 Pub. Date: 2013-11-02
Image Number: 103222
Caption: I'm sick of liberals saying we should raise taxes to help pay off the national debt. If the government were a household that spent more than it took in, the parents would do the ONLY THING they could and cut back on unnecessary expenses. Um Ö They could also look for higher-paying jobs that brought in more revenue. What'd you say? I was on the phone canceling my electricity and my phone. The Starbucks at the End of the World. (Originally published 2012-12-06).
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-26 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-26 Pub. Date: 2013-10-26
Image Number: 102931
Caption: Do you think the clouds care about the government shutdown? Do you think the sun cares whether we believe we're contributing to climate change? Do you think The Milky Way cares whether we ever stop killing each other? We're all part of a vast cosmos, Susan. If the COSMOS doesn't care about the little things, I don't see why I should. I still think you should open that letter the IRS sent you.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-10-11 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-10-11 Pub. Date: 2013-10-11
Image Number: 102500
Caption: Republicans in the House seem to think if they donít like somethin', they donít have to pay the bills. Thug 4 Life. It's just like when my man Wesley Snipes refused to pay his taxes. I think Wesley Snipes should be Speaker of the House. Thank God For Culture Clash. I don't wanna see John Boehner be Blade, though, so I'ma have to deliberate on this some more. I feel dumber for having heard all that.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-08-30 tax 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-08-30 Pub. Date: 2013-08-30
Image Number: 100805
Caption: I've been stopped and frisked eight times. Three of those times, the cop held a gun to my head. One of those times I had to lie face-down in the dirt. Mayor Bloomberg said it's the price I have to pay to make Americans feel safe. Aren't you an American? Only when it's time to pay taxes.
     
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