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Rudy Park

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Result page:    2  Next  (35 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-06-21 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-06-21 Pub. Date: 2019-06-21
Image Number: 178174
Caption: You played Xbox 360 with Darlene. That's your confession? I'm a loser. Do you didn't cheat on Laurel. You just played a video game. Are you nuts? Maybe if it had been the Nintendo Gamecube, or the original Playstation. But the 360? HOJ. Have you seen the graphics on the 360?! You need inpatient care.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-01-26 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-01-26 Pub. Date: 2019-01-26
Image Number: 175967
Caption: You have chosen wisely in buying your girlfriend a new video game unit. You're sure? Computer Villa. It's like a jewel. She'll absolutely cherish this. And it has that most essential quality. If she hates it, you can use it. Then I'll also get her an HD camcorder.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-13 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-13 Pub. Date: 2018-05-13
Image Number: 170941
Caption: I'm sorry, we're all out of mocha. Want something else? Yes, I want you to run to Starbucks and get me a mocha. I'm … what? Sorry, I can't do that. You have to. Or I'll sue. I saw your menu from the sidewalk. I'm not following. If your menu is viewable from the sidewalk, it's considered advertising. If you advertise a product but you don't have it in stock and you don't cross it out, that's false advertising. And that's a crime. So what's it going to be? Are you going to run down to Starbucks or do you want me to bring the wrath of the entire judicial system down upon you? I'm not sure any of that is true. But I could use the fresh air. While you're there, would you be a poodle and get me a cheese danish?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-16 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-16 Pub. Date: 2018-04-16
Image Number: 170592
Caption: Sadie, I can't stop checking my phone. Every alert is starting to feel historic. For the first time, I'm not sure whether our system of government is going to survive. What will they uncover about the president? What will the president do in return? If he falls, what will his followers do? Is this how it felt when you kept checking the cave paintings for news of the latest mastodon hunt? Sadie smash.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-15 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-15 Pub. Date: 2017-12-15
Image Number: 166033
Caption: What do you mean "give table two the special plate"? That’s Smedley Peevish Highbrow, the café critic from Gourmet Magazine. Facial recognition systems are surprisingly cheap on the black market. Still, which plate is the "special plate"? The one with the $100 bill taped to its bottom.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-12 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-12 Pub. Date: 2017-12-12
Image Number: 166030
Caption: A star called Gliese 710 is about to pass through our solar system and head straight for earth! Well … by "about to," I mean in about 1.35 million years. And by "through our solar system," I mean through our oort cloud. And by "head straight for earth" I mean it'll pass us by about 13,000 times the distance between the sun and the earth. Is a crowd gathering around me? No. I told you, click-bait headlines only work on the internet.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-23 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-23 Pub. Date: 2017-11-23
Image Number: 165179
Caption: You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-30 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-30 Pub. Date: 2017-10-30
Image Number: 164421
Caption: Did you know there's a growing worldwide system of rails and roads that all lead to China? Did you know China's on the verge of dominating the industries of the future? Did you know China's built fifteen mega-cities? It's like having fifteen New Yorks. Did you know China's building immense undersea tunnels and super-fast high speed rail to create the world's first super-cities that'll be six times the population of New York? Oh, well ... I'm sure we're still number one in all the areas I didn't google. I know we're still number one in thinking we're number one.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-21 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-21 Pub. Date: 2017-10-21
Image Number: 163920
Caption: We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-05-15 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-05-15 Pub. Date: 2017-05-15
Image Number: 158088
Caption: I heard oil companies just discovered huge reservoirs of oil way under the ground, all around our town. But they can't get at it because President Obama declared the whole region a national monument before he left. Why would he do that? Doesn't he know we use oil to make plastic, and that my Playstation is totally made of plastic? What happens of I ever need to buy a fourth Playstation 4? He's endangering my supply just to save a bunch of trees and mountains and waterfalls and endangered bearicorns. Until recently, people thought the bearicorn was a myth, and ... wait, you have three Playstations?
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-27 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157299
Caption: Democracy is dead in Turkey, Randy. What? What are you talking about? The president there just granted himself absolute power in a fraudulent election. You ever wonder if maybe democracy isn't the norm … it's just a blip in history and it's on the way out? I'm hoping it'll soon be replaced with a robust sexyocracy. I was hoping for more of an xboxocracy.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-04-04 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-04-04 Pub. Date: 2017-04-04
Image Number: 156484
Caption: I've had allergies all my life. How about you, Randy? Never, little buddy. HOJ. A speck of pollen once tried to enter my left nostril but was swiftly humbled by my natural defenses. I come from a long line of Randies who were gifted with nose hairs that have the tensile strength of iron and the stopping-power of barbed wire. Word quickly spread from pollen to pollen, and now they never even dare. If Obamacare covers nose-hair transplants, would you be willing ... ?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-26 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 156383
Caption: "They found seven earth-like planets, Randy. Amazing time, little buddy. And they're all in the same star system. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Almost certainly not. I'm thinking it's no coincidence there are seven earthlike worlds in that system, and seven continents on earth. Stop! I don't want to hear any crazy conspiracy theories! Not everything is connected! Get over it, loser! I always thought it was fishy that both the first Jewish menorah and the Kwanzaa kinara have seven candles. We should have our own astronomy show. STOP!!! Come to think of it, I once dated seven sisters from Caracas, which has seven letters. Coincidence??? "
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-22 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-22 Pub. Date: 2017-03-22
Image Number: 155927
Caption: Armstrong told me he's replacing the café's burglar alarm with a string tying the doors and windows to my teeth. It was almost enough to make me quit. "Almost"? Little buddy, if someone opens a door, you could lose all your teeth! Exactly. And then workman's comp would pay for replacement bionic teeth. HOJ. I'm pretty sure that's not how workman's comp wor -- wait ... "bionic teeth"? I just think it'd be cool to be able to chew without moving my jaw.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-21 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-21 Pub. Date: 2017-03-21
Image Number: 155926
Caption: I've decided against replacing the café's alarm system with a system of levers and twine attached to your eyelids. I wasn't fond of the idea anyway, boss. After hours of research, I determined there's no practical way to attach twine to a person's eyelids. I meant to say no human way of attaching the twine. I wouldn't want you being irreparably damaged. That's kind of you, boss. Teeth are easier to repair, so we'll be fastening the twine around your bicuspids. I quit.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-20 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-20 Pub. Date: 2017-03-20
Image Number: 155925
Caption: You wanted to see me, boss? Come in, minion. My 13-year contract with Barely Secure Alarm and Donuts is about to expire. I'm tired of paying their exorbitant $7.99 annual fee. From now on, you're going to be the café's alarm system. We'll attach the doors to your eyelids by twine, and if anyone opens a door, you'll know. I'll have to deduct the cost of twine from your check, but I'm sure you can write that off. Very bad man.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-08 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-08 Pub. Date: 2017-03-08
Image Number: 155393
Caption: Sadie, I just heard they discovered seven earthlike planets around a single star. Three of those planets are in the habitable zone, so they might just support life. I am just so excited! I guess what I'm asking you is … were you this excited when earth was first discovered? Almost as excited as when I first discovered vengeful retribution.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-12-13 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152123
Caption: Can I ask you a question, man-to-man? Sure, little buddy. Is it manly to keep a diary? I've thought of journaling, to help me process all the unbearable horrors and losses I experience. Like when they discontinued the Sega Genesis. I bet journaling would've helped me through that difficult time of my life. "Difficult time of your life"? Instead, I sank deep into depression, refused to speak, and painted my Apple Newton black.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-11-20 system 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-11-20 Pub. Date: 2016-11-20
Image Number: 150321
Caption: I've made up my mind. About what? About which virtual reality system to buy. I know what you're going to say: Get the Oculus Rift. That is not what I was going to say … and sure, "Oculus Rift" is a much cooler name than all the others. But Playstation VR would let me use the Playstation I already own. So I wouldn't have to buy anything new ... which is why I've ruled out the Playstation VR. Ugh! The thought of not buying new ... it burns! Not buying new would actually be new for you.
     
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