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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about surprises and surprising.

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (51 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-11 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-11 Pub. Date: 2019-09-11
Image Number: 179396
Caption: What're you so excited about, Clyde? I'll put it this way, Big L: Ain't you never got nothin' you didn't expect to be getting' … come to realize you been waitin' on it for half your life an' you didn't never even know it? Was pushing my buttons the whole point of all this? 'Course not, Big L. I just forgot you can't never stand double negatives.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-03 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-03 Pub. Date: 2019-05-03
Image Number: 177387
Caption: You know what I ain't had in a long time? Someone throwin' me a party. That's because the last time I threw you a party, you punched me in the throat. Not my fault. That what you do when you walk in your apartment an' somebody be lurkin' there in the dark. It was a surprise party. You looked surprised.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-13 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-13 Pub. Date: 2018-04-13
Image Number: 170413
Caption: I don't see why you're so surprised I own a gun, Lemont. I was raised around guns. Papa was a sheriff's deputy. Remember? Of course I remember, Susan. How could I ever forget? He was the very first cop who ever pulled me over for no reason. You had just run over someone. the tricycle always has the right of way, everyone knows that!
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-15 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-15 Pub. Date: 2018-03-15
Image Number: 169396
Caption: In other news, there seems to be a blue wave coming, as Democrats continue to win surprising victories in heavily Republican districts. Just across the bridge in Canardville, for instance, Republican Congressman Snidely Perfidious has held his seat for 40 years. He's not running 10 points behind a 90-year-old veteran-turned-peace-activist who advocates Medicare for all, free college, and mandatory veganism. Cool. Maybe I'll be able to see a doctor someday. I don't know, bruh ... The Congress we got is pretty bad. But so is broccoli.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-04 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-04 Pub. Date: 2017-09-04
Image Number: 162342
Caption: Hello, momma. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I let myself in, and I'm standing right behind you with a big bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, all for you … unless I got stuck in traffic, in which case forget you heard this. Beep.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-25 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-25 Pub. Date: 2017-08-25
Image Number: 161804
Caption: I detest those Nazis and KKK and white supremacists who marched on Charlottesville. You do? That's great. I'm surprised. I mean, you were a tea partier, you hate immigration, you've fought to make it harder for minorities to vote, you complain all the time about gays and Muslims and atheists ... You're right, they do have some good points. But still ... all that violence and the Anti-Semitism and the tattoos and the torches. I detest all of that stuff. Never look a political awakening in the mouth. Maybe "detest" is too strong a word.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-22 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-22 Pub. Date: 2017-02-22
Image Number: 154803
Caption: I never asked what you and Ace Peerless did for Valentine's Day. We competed. I surprised him with a portrait of us that I painted … and he surprised me by sending a white horse to take me to the beach, where the Candorville Philharmonic performed an original composition Ace had written for me. At the crescendo, which was times to greet the sunset, Ace descended from the sky on a hang glider, accompanied by a flock of doves and eagles. Vancouver and I Skyped and exchanged heart emojis. I'll never know who Ace trained those birds to make that huge heart formation.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-04 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-04 Pub. Date: 2016-12-04
Image Number: 151096
Caption: The other day, somebody in a red Trump hat actually to me to "Go back where you came from, n*****." I'm not surprised. That's been happening a lot. Trump's election encouraged white supremacists everywhere to come out of the shadows. They think it's their day again. Well this ain't Selma, an' I ain't Martin Luther the King. That fool found that out right quick, bruh. This ain't 1965. This here 2016. Fools better know "n*****s" be armed now. Oh god, Clyde! What did you do?! What did you do?! You had a gun?! No, I had an iPhone. I recorded the whole thing. Put it on Youtube. In just two hours, that fool got fired. Oh. Maybe we should all be packing iPhones for the next four years.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-24 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-24 Pub. Date: 2015-11-24
Image Number: 135623
Caption: Why are you even thinking about breakups, Lemont? I thought you were all ga-ga about some chick from Vancouver. That's why I'm thinking about it. I'm just so surprised at how into her I've gotten in just two months. It has me thinking I should break up with all the other ladies I've been talking to, since they don't make me feel the same butterflies. Dios mio, Lemont. You've never even met any of them. Just unfriend them. I don't want to be the guy who causes pain everywhere from Kansas to Bangkok.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-18 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-18 Pub. Date: 2015-11-18
Image Number: 135315
Caption: Whachoo gon' do for Thanksgiving, Big L? Visit momma. Lionel's almost three, and she hasn't seen him in months. She's going to be so surprised when I show up with my boy, a turkey dinner and flowers. She ain't know you comin'? What if she ain't there? Well, then me missing Thanksgiving would be HER fault ... and the only logical thing for Lionel and me to do would be to camp out at the theater and wait 'till "Star Wars" opens. I see what game you runnin' bruh. You ain't slick.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-01-06 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-01-06 Pub. Date: 2015-01-06
Image Number: 121077
Caption: I have to admit something, Susan. You love me? You want us to be more than friends? I actually like "Star Trek: Enterprise" now. I think I used to hate it because it wasn't what I wanted it to be, but after a decade, I've rewatched it on Netflix, and to my complete surprise ... I've really come to enjoy it for what it is. That's very important to do. Yeah. Yeah, it is.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-05 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-05 Pub. Date: 2014-10-05
Image Number: 116484
Caption: The Economist ran a book review where they called for a more "objective" look at slavery. They whined that "almost all the blacks in [this] book are victims, almost all the whites are villains." What, that surprise you, Big L.? Next thing you know, people gonna look into the slaves' high school records to see if they ever got suspended. Then they gonna go through the slaves' Facebook photos an' if they don't find no thug poses, they'll just Photoshop some gold teeth on the bruthas. They'll say Kunta Kinte stole a pack of cotton balls so he deserved what he got. Good talk, Clyde.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-28 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-28 Pub. Date: 2014-07-28
Image Number: 114480
Caption: I think the Palestinians would get a lot further if they were to follow the lead of Gandhi, MLK and Mandela. You mean they should march all up an' down, sing spirituals and get beat upside the head for years? You'd be surprised at how much that can accomplish. Have you EVER cracked open a history book? Have YOU?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-15 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-15 Pub. Date: 2014-07-15
Image Number: 113733
Caption: Yesterday some guy tried to tell me not all shootings at schools are "school shootings." He even said gang-related shootings don't count. What, that surprise you? What country you think you livin' in, Big L? They been shootings in "inner city" schools since the eighties. But America only started caring when white suburban kids started killing too. That's kind of cynical, Clyde. Columbine was the "Elvis" of school shootings.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-04-07 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-04-07 Pub. Date: 2014-04-07
Image Number: 109839
Caption: LAST WEEK … So I took your advice. I hired lawyers to investigate myself … paid them $1 mil or so … … And (surprise surprise) the investigation I paid for found me totally, completely innocent … Problem is: for some strange reason, people don’t trust that the investigation I paid for was impartial. Ain't you glad I told you to pay for it with taxpayer money instead of your own? C-DOG'S Incredibly Bad Advice $2. I want my $2 back.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-12-09 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-12-09 Pub. Date: 2013-12-09
Image Number: 104847
Caption: You hear 'bout them black kids in Rochester who got arrested for loitering … … while all they was doin' was waitin' for they school bus? Does that surprise you? This is the country that described Travon Martin's screwdriver as a "burglary tool." In my hands, someone's liable to call this basketball a "weapon." Only if they ain't never played ball with you.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-11-17 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-11-17 Pub. Date: 2013-11-17
Image Number: 103511
Caption: We've got a little boy due in just a week or so. Dr. Noodle. I think James Henry Washington is a nice, strong, solid name. But Megan said our son has to be named after her favorite uncle. This morning, she said … "Emmett Samuel Nathaniel George Jerry Paul Cartho Washington is a great name." Megan doesn't like to play favorites. Life is largely about playing favorites. Every night we eat chicken-beef-tofu-fish surprise.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-09-27 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-09-27 Pub. Date: 2013-09-27
Image Number: 101946
Caption: Hello, momma. You've reached the home of Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I let myself in, and I'm standing right behind you with a big bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, all for you. … Unless I got stuck in traffic, in which case forget you heard this. BEEP.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-30 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-30 Pub. Date: 2012-12-30
Image Number: 91193
Caption: Mmblello? Your kid has already forgotten about the Christmas gift you're still paying off. Zzzxbox2! But that's not really why I'm calling. Whozit? You ate WAY too much over the holidays. You think months of wearing winter clothes will hide the excess lard till you lose weight. Juz bigbonzz. But climate change may make this winter warmer than you expect. Don't be surprised if you have to wear t-shirts in January. Zzfatzzz. Today's wake up call is sponsored by Dr. Biggums Liposuction.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-11-07 surprise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-11-07 Pub. Date: 2012-11-07
Image Number: 89423
Caption: … Were surprised when the President stripped to his undershorts and shouted "Thank God that's over!" Click. Thug 4 Life. After the tornado carved out a path of destruction that looks like a middle finger, scientists believe Earth is not only alive, but very sarcastic. Click. Thug 4 Life. Walking toward the Mars Rover. It appears to be mankind's first image of a - Click. Thug 4 Life. This End Up. " ... Gilligaaaan, the Skipper toooo, the millionaire, and his wiiiiiiiiife ... " Thug 4 Life.
     
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