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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about stopping it.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-16 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163902
Caption: Do you have any idea how many mass shootings we've had in America this year? In just the first 75 days of the year, we had 273 mass shootings. That's almost one per day. There are more mass shootings than there are days in the baseball season. You know what that means, don't you? It mean mass shootings is America new national pastime. Stop stealing my lines.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-11 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-11 Pub. Date: 2017-10-11
Image Number: 163630
Caption: Bruh, you gotta stop writing about "Star Track Discovery." Don't nobody like it. Get over it. "Trek." And it's a great show! It's just a vocal minority online that keep coming up with ridiculous reasons to hate it. They decided long before they ever saw it was gonna be horrible, and now they just don't want to be wrong. It's textbook case of confirmation bias! I knew you wasn't gonna make no sense, an' I was right.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-07 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-07 Pub. Date: 2017-07-07
Image Number: 159983
Caption: Ok Ace … I'm coming out. I'll stop pushing you away. I promise I won't let my fear or anything else get in the way of whatever it is you wanted to talk about. Marry me. Susan Ometeotl Garcia, will you m … Marry me. Dios mio! That's Lemont's girlfriend! With some other guy! You're trying my patience.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-07 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-07 Pub. Date: 2017-06-07
Image Number: 158827
Caption: How can I help you, sir? The monitor stopped working. I can't follow the plane's progress. I don't know where we are. Well … sir, you don't really need to know where we are at all time. You're not the pilot. But you were showing me our location. I got used to seeing it. It was comforting. You can't just snatch it away! Don't you have other binkies? Where's you iPhone? I need to know precisely when we pass the North Pole!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-17 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-17 Pub. Date: 2017-05-17
Image Number: 158078
Caption: I had a dream last night, Clyde. Want to hear about it? Not sure. Last time you told me 'bout one of your dreams, it was some sci-fi nonsense 'bout you travelin' back in time to save Abraham Lincoln. This one wasn't about time travel, it was about how Trump keeps firing everyone who says they have info on his Russia scandal. Well ... ok. Go. A woman named Harbinger traveled through time and across the multiverse to collect a team of awesome journalists who could uncover the truth. Stop.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-02 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-02 Pub. Date: 2017-05-02
Image Number: 157546
Caption: Did you read my article on Trump's first 100 days? Nah, bruh. No point. Me knowin' what he does ain't gonna change what he do. Big Cheeto impervious to public opinion, so I might as well not have one. Stop making stupidity sound like wisdom. It's irresponsible. Think of the children. What for? They don't think of me.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-17 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157012
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her to forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-13 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-13 Pub. Date: 2017-04-13
Image Number: 156721
Caption: You been grabbing your chest an' your jaw all day, Big L. What that be about? Nothing. It doesn't hurt. Didn't ask if it hurt, bruh. Oh. Of course not. Anyway, did you see that dumb Pepsi commercial? The one with Kendall Jenner, where they acted like class and racial tensions can be cured by a cans of soda? Stop tryin' to change the subject. You prolly 'bout to have a heart attack. No I'm not. I'm only mumblety-two years old.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-25 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 155918
Caption: Has it occurred to you that our neighboring planet is populated entirely by robots, and most of us have no idea what they're up to? Stop that!
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-23 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-23 Pub. Date: 2017-03-23
Image Number: 155916
Caption: Whachoo gon' move to Canada for, bruh? So what you got some perfect girl up there. That ain't gonna last. Either she gonna get tired of you, or you gonna get tired of her. Or the magic gonna wear off an' you'll find out she ain't "perfect" noway. Only way to keep a perfect relationship perfect is to end it while it still be perfect. That's why your life full of failure, an' my life be full of perfection. Stop making nonsense seem like sense!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-26 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-26 Pub. Date: 2017-02-26
Image Number: 154301
Caption: My cousin can't walk anymore. What? Why? Her legs just stopped working all of a sudden. Doctors don't know what's causing it yet. I feel so powerless, and so selfish. Selfish? … for feeling powerless. I'm not the one this happened to. I'm not the one who can't walk anymore. What right do I have to feel powerless? We're all connected, Lemont. If I ever tell you my feet hurt, I want you to smack me.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-19 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-19 Pub. Date: 2017-02-19
Image Number: 154023
Caption: What brings you back to therapy? I have a tough time figuring out whom to trust. I read on Facebook that Hillary Clinton was part of a secret group that baked little kittens into pies. And I believed it. But then I read on my Twitter that Facebook was full of fake news, so I believed that and stopped believing the kitten pie story. Then someone at my wife's work sent me an anonymous email telling me she was cheating on me, and I believed it. But then she told me not to worry because the guys she takes weekly business trips with is gay ... and I believed it. I think I have some horrible disorder where I believe whatever the last person told me. I don't think so. Me neither.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-29 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-29 Pub. Date: 2017-01-29
Image Number: 153149
Caption: It all started back in college when I bought a copy of "Mimic City." It was cheap: About 20 simoleons. Dr. Noodle. I played it night and day. When "Mimic City 2" came out, I rushed out to buy it. And every few years a newer, better one would come out. Every iteration was more advanced than the last. The little mimics who populated Mimic City came to seem more and more real. They had jobs, and love lives, and had mimic kids, and grew old. Eventually, I started to wonder: If my mimics behave as if they're real ... what if they actually believe they're real? Would that make me their God? And, if they think they're real ... what if I only THINK I'm real? What if I and everyone else in Simkind are actually living in some game called "Sim City"? Not to self: Stop self-medicating, and just to be sure, delete games from phone. Thank you, Almighty Noodle, for listening to my prayers. Amen.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-28 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-28 Pub. Date: 2017-01-28
Image Number: 153706
Caption: I whip my hair back an' forth I whip my hair back an' forth I whip my hair back an' forth I whip my hair back an' forth I whip my hair back an' forth I whip my hair back an' forth. This ringtone's easy to hear on a crowded bus. Jus' stop it. They ain't NO justification f'dat @#$&*.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-01-14 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-01-14 Pub. Date: 2017-01-14
Image Number: 153091
Caption: … So then I told the cry-baby "Stop all this continual begging and pleading, and take this like a man." Pardon me, I couldn't help overhearing. "Continual" means it happens regularly with obvious lapses in time. If you meant the begging was nonstop, the proper word is "continuous." What if the pleading only happened whenever there was a pausing the the sobbing? Oh. Well then ... you were right.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-15 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-15 Pub. Date: 2016-12-15
Image Number: 152113
Caption: Maybe I should just go back to America and forget about "Vancouver." If I cross this street, walk up that hill, and knock on her door … I'll ruin it for both of us. In-person romance is way different from Facebook. In person, you can't delete or edit your comments before hitting "send." You can't send perfect photos with perfect lighting and perfect angles. I would say "Stop being a punk #@$%," but we don't cuss in Canada.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-26 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-26 Pub. Date: 2016-10-26
Image Number: 150196
Caption: Earlier today, I considered the option of traveling back through time and making other choices. But before I could finish considering it, I changed my mind and decided I could not, would not, dare not do such a thing. But now it occurs to me, perhaps that was me from the future inhabiting my past self and making just such an "other choice." I think I regret that I'm going to do what I did to prevent me from undoing that which I regret. Stop it.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-15 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-15 Pub. Date: 2016-09-15
Image Number: 148482
Caption: Hi. I'm Lemont. I'm on my way to the airport. Heading to Vancouver to spend a week with the girl of my dreams. O K It's weird how it feels like I haven't seen her in months. I mean, we text all the time. We send each other photos, too. Not "Anthony Weiner" style photos ... I'm talking completely tasteful stuff ... mostly. You're not really a "small talk" kind of guy are you?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-02 stop it 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-02 Pub. Date: 2016-09-02
Image Number: 147923
Caption: I wrote a very realistic screenplay that subverts all the usual Hollywood clichs. We don't see the protagonist in a moody bar when he feels down; we spend an hour watching him fall asleep all along in front of his tv and when he tries to stop a wedding, it takes him half an hour to find a good parking spot, and he misses the whole thing. We watch him circle the block for a half an hour. Clichs are clichs for a reason.
     
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