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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  13  Next  (254 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-25 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-25 Pub. Date: 2020-01-25
Image Number: 181369
Caption: Are you sure you want to watch the premiere episode of Star Trek: Picard again? You've already seen it 24 times in the past 24 hours. Perhaps you should go for a walk, feel the warm breeze, bask in the sun … talk to other people … or maybe just take a shower ... never should've bought a smart tv. Remaining sedentary can cause high blood pressure, deep vein thrombosis, death ...
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-24 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-24 Pub. Date: 2020-01-24
Image Number: 181368
Caption: Are you sure you want to watch the premiere episode of Star Trek: Picard again? You've already seen it 24 times in the past 24 hours. Perhaps you should go for a walk, feel the warm breeze, bask in the sun … talk to other people … or maybe just take a shower ... never should've bought a smart tv. Remaining sedentary can cause high blood pressure, deep vein thrombosis, death ...
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-10 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-10 Pub. Date: 2020-01-10
Image Number: 181116
Caption: We might not be able to travel to other stars ever, Susan. Because of what Anton Petrov calls the wall of fire. What's that? A year ago, Voyager II left our solar system, passing out of the heliosphere, which is a bubble made of plasma that encases the whole solar system. Voyager II discovered the plasma gets up around 89,000 degrees ... Yeah, but ... is that Fahrenheit or Celsius? Interstellar colonists will need a lot of sunscreen.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-08 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-08 Pub. Date: 2020-01-08
Image Number: 181114
Caption: What's wrong, Lemont? I just learned that our galaxy has not arms. Scientists discovered the Milky Way's spiral arms are not physical structures after all. They're magnetic density fields. Stars and matter don't live in any particular arm. Instead they move into and out of these dense fields all the time. Were you going to say this is like being homeless? Because that would be very insensitive. I was ... not. I was not.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-04 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-04 Pub. Date: 2020-01-04
Image Number: 181020
Caption: I'm convinces that critics don't know anything and people are petty. What? Why? Most critics hated The Rise of Skywalker. And dozens of Youtubers were bashing it. But it was amazing! So I spent all night checking these people's past comments, and found that most of them loved The Last Jedi. Which means they're probably just butthurt that the new movie reversed a lot of the stuff the last movie did wrong.. That certainly wasn't petty of you. Tonight I'm going to post comments under all of them exposing their bias.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-11 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-11 Pub. Date: 2019-11-11
Image Number: 180298
Caption: 1982. You want to be what, Lemont? A Jedi. I'm already practicing. But that's just a movie, Lemont. It's not really real. I think all stories are real. I think writers only think they made them up. I think what's really going on is, the universe is alive. And writers are the universe's way of remembering incidents that really happened. Is this about how Mrs. Drake gave your book report an F? My remembering of the incident is every bit as valid as the author's.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-20 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-20 Pub. Date: 2019-09-20
Image Number: 179502
Caption: She blew it, Clyde. Who blew what? What are you talking about, Big L? The whole reason I thought about dating Susan was because I thought maybe she and I would be compatible … so I tested her. I asked her out in Klingon, and she didn't have any idea what I said. I blew it. Your standards is too high ... or low ... or something.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-29 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-29 Pub. Date: 2019-08-29
Image Number: 179194
Caption: Attention all parents of small toddlers … There's a brand new Youtube channel you'll definitely want to show your kids. It features funny reviews of toys, video games and apps. It stars a handsome, charming man dressed in huge glasses, a big floppy hat, and a bright yellow tuxedo. No self-promotion in my cafe unless I get a 98% cut. I am totally not unaffiliated with this brilliant performer.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-24 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-24 Pub. Date: 2019-08-24
Image Number: 179098
Caption: Do you think you'll ever get tired of working for the TSA, Randy? Let me see, little buddy … Will I ever get tired of encountering some of the most interesting people in the world … like Beyonce, and Rihanna, and Emilia Clarke, and Amber Heard, and Jennifer Lawrence, and the rest ... and making sure their pat-downs are completely professional yet totally thorough? This is why I never fly anywhere anymore. As long as blood pumps through my veins, I will never tire of this job.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-22 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-22 Pub. Date: 2019-08-22
Image Number: 179096
Caption: 80s toys was no joke, bruh. My Voltron had a sword that oculd put a kid eye out. 'Member how my Shogun warrior had a gist that shot off an' would go right down a kid throat if you aimed it wrong? 'Member that time us kids was all mail-ordering razor sharp Ninja throwing stars? I still don't agree that kids today are too soft. A few childhood lacerations never hurt nobody.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-06-04 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-06-04 Pub. Date: 2019-06-04
Image Number: 177953
Caption: I can't wait to watch Star Trek: Picard. The teaser trailer made it pretty clear the show heavily involves the destruction of Romulus from J.J. Abrams 2009 film. That's going to tick off all the Abrams-haters who've been whining ever since 2009. I. Cannot. Wait. I thought Star Trek was all about a future where people aren't petty anymore. I'm all for eradicating pettiness after I get this last dig in.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-19 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-19 Pub. Date: 2019-05-19
Image Number: 177643
Caption: NASA found seven earthlike planets, Randy. Amazing times, little buddy. And they're all in the same star system. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Almost certainly not. I'm thinking it's not coincidence. There are seven earthlike worlds in that system, and seven continents on earth. Stop! I don't want to hear any crazy conspiracy theories! Not everything is connected! Get over it, loser! I always thought it was fishy that both the first Jewish menorah and the Kwanzaa kinara have seven candles. We should have our own astronomy show. STOP!!! Come to think of it, I once dated seven sisters from Caracas, which has seven letters. Coincidence???
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-04 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-04 Pub. Date: 2019-05-04
Image Number: 177388
Caption: Where you been last couple days, Big L? The Star Trek Discovery season finale was incredible. It made me really want a Captain Pike spin-off. So naturally, I've been in every discussion forum and all over social media trying to motivate everyone on earth to sign the CBS, give us a pre-TOS Star Trek series w/ Captain Pike. Struggle is pointless. petition on Change.org. Naturally don't meant what you think it mean. How do you say please in Hindi?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-29 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-29 Pub. Date: 2019-03-29
Image Number: 176943
Caption: My boy asked me to sing him some nursery rhymes last night. So I sang him Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary had a Little Lamb. Then he demanded more, but I just … blanked. I suddenly couldn't remember any. So I sang him Purple Rain to the tune of Mary had a Little Lamb. You ain't never been good under pressure, dawg. Then he asked me what weekend lover meant, so I had to pretend I'd fallen asleep.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-27 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-27 Pub. Date: 2019-03-27
Image Number: 176941
Caption: Lemont, I don't think millions of people watch Star Trek: Discovery. Parrot Analytics found Discovery had 24,859,094 average demand expressions per week. Other shows with those numbers had between 4 and 7 million viewers per episode, according to Nielsen Ratings. Parrot Analytics? You can't refute something just by questioning it in a skeptical tone. I can't? Stop that?
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-26 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-26 Pub. Date: 2019-03-26
Image Number: 176940
Caption: Wanna know how I know Star Trek: Discovery is a big deal? How? There are conspiracy theorists on Youtube trying to debunk it. I've seen people debunk the JFK assassination. I've seen them debunk the moon landing. Never in my life have I seen people try to prove that an insidious cabal of tv executives is deceiving fans into thinking a tv show is actually set in the universe they say it's set in. Their hour-long video about how the uniforms are 25 percent different from Captain Kirk's almost lured me in. Dios mio.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-25 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-25 Pub. Date: 2019-03-25
Image Number: 176939
Caption: Did you know that every week, millions of people gather on social media and Youtube for one purpose … which is to bash Star Trek: Discovery. They go over every last detail that they hated about each week's episode. All these gigantic online crowds of people seem to agree on one thing. Which is? That nobody watches it.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-20 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-20 Pub. Date: 2019-03-20
Image Number: 176837
Caption: Sadie, I just heard they discovered seven earthlike planets around a single star. Three of those planets are in the habitable zone, so they might just support life. I am just so excited! I guess what I'm asking you is ... were you this excited when earth was first discovered? Almost as excited as when I first discovered vengeful retribution.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-24 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-24 Pub. Date: 2019-02-24
Image Number: 176205
Caption: In my day, we were happier. We spent more time with friends. We even got along with people who disagreed with us political. We got outside more, traveled the roads, counted the stars, went fishing, watched the tumbleweeds … We were out in the world, ambling around. Experiencing it all. We didn't waste 11 hours a day staring into screens! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up. I said, I can handle a quadruple espresso. I don't care what Google told you.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-03 star 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-03 Pub. Date: 2019-02-03
Image Number: 175839
Caption: I read your article where you bashed people who accuse Star Trek Discovery of being a Social Justice Warrior show. You wrote Star Trek has always been a show about social justice. The entire premise of the show was a ship full of people from all walks of life ... flying from planet to planet to enlighten bigots, fascists and all kinds of other (censored). But you're hopelessly biased. Of course you would want people to have a so-called open mind. Your grandmother was a call-girl. Don't bother denying it, I spent all night on Google figuring it out. She was a telephone operator ... That's what they called telephone operators. Your defensiveness means I'm right. That's science.
     
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