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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

Comics and cartoons about being sick .

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Result page:     (11 images)


1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2020-01-15 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2020-01-15 Pub. Date: 2020-01-15
Image Number: 181319
Caption: The Queen Escapes! Her Majesty escapes through a secret passage under the castle. She says she is bloody sick to bloody death of the whole bloody family and is leaving for some place where she is not bloody known. (Manitoba). Hats A-M. Hats N-Z/ Beefeater. E.R. Brenda. Corgi food. QE 2.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-07 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155562
Caption: There's Your Proof! Ah! Hah!* *Former President Obama observed tapping the phone of President Trump, just as bold as brass! Mr. Obama was moonlighting for Con Ed, and was bad (or sick) at the time. But you want proof? Here it is. In cartoon form, drawn from eyewitness reports.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-02-24 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-02-24 Pub. Date: 2016-02-24
Image Number: 139810
Caption: Raoul Castro Will See Obama, but Fidel Won't. Designated Cigar Smoker. That bastard Nixon … don't let him near me. Uh … ok. Hotel Moscow. Fidel. Ron.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-10-02 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-10-02 Pub. Date: 2014-10-02
Image Number: 117299
Caption: It's Terrible Down in Texas. Hit's turr'ble. So this eye-slammer feller got hisself all sick with the eee-bowler thang, and he snuck into Texas, and now he's fixing to whap out the decent people an' next thang the Mexicans is acommin' over the border by the billions puttin' their zapatos on the ground right b'fore yew even know it. I seen it on the teevee ... An' us with no beer ...
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-08-20 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-08-20 Pub. Date: 2013-08-20
Image Number: 100757
Caption: The Inner A-Rod. Bonk! Wait a minute … … Where am I? New York. This is a ball park! Why am I in a ball park? It's all coming clear now. I don’t want to be a ball player. I want to join the Peace Corps, and help build hospitals for the little sick children all over the world ... Now I remember ...
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-09-13 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-09-13 Pub. Date: 2012-09-13
Image Number: 87643
Caption: Let Market Forces Decide. Next item: Couple of old sick people, whaddya bid? The Market. Auction today.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-06-19 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-06-19 Pub. Date: 2012-06-19
Image Number: 82677
Caption: Y'all wanna see somethin' real funny? See - whut we done is take this outhouse and then we put this sign on it. It says Obama Liberry! That is fun-nee! Haw! Obama Presidential Library. 4 a good time call … Ma ... It's like Obama is got a outhouse for a liberry! Haw! Haw! (Snort! Snigger!) That is the funniest thing I ever done heard of! We gonna git this on tee vee! (Giggle! Drool ... ) Ma ... Montana GOP. Then we wrote all kinda funny stuff inside, like about Hillary and stuff! Haw! Haw! Haw! Hey! Obama! You got a outhouse for a liberry! Haw! Haw! Haw! Ma!! If we can just get this outhouse thing on the teevee, the whole country will laugh itself sick! Yup! We gotta use some o' this funny humor stuff to git our message across. Whut? I gotta go bathroom. Tea Party.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-09-14 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-09-15 Pub. Date: 2011-09-14
Image Number: 65699
Caption: My, my… I haven't been this interested in politics in years. Sick? You die! Tea Party Rules! Death Penalty Yes! Kill the Government. No to Health Care.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-03-13 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-03-13 Pub. Date: 2011-03-13
Image Number: 58607
Caption: Newt (heart) 1776. All right, Newt, what's this crap about your love for the country the reason you had to dump two wives while they were sick? Yes, well, you see …. Pokety poke. Who's your little friend, Newtie? Introduce us.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-05-13 sick 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-05-13 Pub. Date: 2010-05-13
Image Number: 50459
Caption: Endorsement. I love Arlen Specter. Men. Blehhh …
     
Result page:     (11 images)