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Candorville

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-03 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-03 Pub. Date: 2017-10-03
Image Number: 163371
Caption: I wonder why people didn't seem to care as much about the devastation in Puerto Rico as they did about Houston. You serious, bruh? How old you is, six? Seven? Is you even potty trained yet? Or was you asleep the last two years when the country elected a white supremacist for president? It's not always about race. Sometimes it's just about laziness. Five. I think you five.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-06 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-06 Pub. Date: 2017-07-06
Image Number: 159982
Caption: Meanwhile, in Candorville … Susan … I know you've always been allergic to commitment. I know you've bailed on every serious relationship you've ever had … Have not. At four, after a week of playing house with Wilfred, you pretended he didn't even exits. At fourteen, after you and your lifelong friend "Turbo" started dating, you faked amnesia. I don't remember that. I never would've told you about my past if I'd known you were gonna throw it in my face. Come on out. I promise this is nothing commitmenty.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-02 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-02 Pub. Date: 2017-07-02
Image Number: 159209
Caption: You ever think maybe the world would've been better off if we'd lost the Revolutionary War? Seriously? You gonna say that right before the Fourth of July? It's just a thought experiment. You scared of thought experiments? C-Dog ain't scared of nothin'. All right. Let's say France never helped us win the revolution. We'd have lost. Britain probably still would've freed the slaves in 1833, so ... No civil war. No backlash to reconstruction, so ... no KKK. France wouldn't have drowned in debt. Their monarchy would've lasted longer, so ... no Napoleon. No Napoleon, no threat uniting German nationalists, so ... no World War I or II ... no Hitler. No Manifest Destiny, so no genocide of Native Americans. The UK wouldn't have turned to the Middle East and Africa to replace its lost holdings, so ... no carving up the Ottoman Empire, no chaos in the Middle East, and no ISIS. Bruh ... if you don't wanna loan me $20 for fireworks, just say so. We'd probably still have black licorice. No getting around that.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-22 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-22 Pub. Date: 2017-06-22
Image Number: 159391
Caption: Hey, don't I know you? Are you serious? U.C. Berkeley, 1993 … Doesn't ring a bell. Picture me with dreds and a goatee. No bell. Flannel shirt and Doc Martens boots. No bell. Awesome thumb ring. No bell (Sigh) … picture me 50 lbs lither. Lemont! Buddy!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-06-12 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-06-12 Pub. Date: 2017-06-12
Image Number: 159151
Caption: Sup, fool? I'm here to pick up bad boy Lionel Brown. Where he at? You're not the father. Day Care. If I had a dime for 'erytime I had heard that … Is that supposed to be a joke? Nah, sis … Maury was deadly serious, 'erytime. What? What? (Sigh) Nevermind. Are you on the list? I was once. But to be in the audience, not up on the show. What? What?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-17 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-17 Pub. Date: 2017-04-17
Image Number: 157012
Caption: My cousin Mafalda just got deported. Seriously? Why? What happened? She went to renew her work visa, and they told her to forget it. Didn't even give her a reason. But she runs a health clinic. What about all her patients? What about me? I was about to go in and get a checkup. What? You were not. Now I'll have to wait till she goes back to Mexico, files and appeal, comes back and restarts her clinic. Dios mio. Stop coming up with excuses not to go to the doctor.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-11 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-11 Pub. Date: 2017-04-11
Image Number: 156719
Caption: What was in that burrito you made? It's giving me serious heartburn. Whachoomean, dawg? Ain't nothin' in there I don't always put in there. That's a double negative. Are you saying there wasn't anything unusual in there, or are you saying there was? That questions don't make no sense. Now you're just messing with me.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-27 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-27 Pub. Date: 2017-02-27
Image Number: 155066
Caption: Seriously? They never gonna cast a brotha as the next James Bond. I don't see why not. All the actors have been different. Blond, brunette, blue-eyed, brown-eyed, Scottish, Irish, English, Australian … White, white, white, white, white, white, white, white be all I heard.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-05 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-05 Pub. Date: 2017-02-05
Image Number: 153474
Caption: Larry Wilcox ain't happy 'bout that new Chips movie, dawg. Larry who? Larry Wilcox, bruh. Can't believe you ain't remember "Jon" from Chips. Ponch & Jon, bruh, you know. Anyway … I saw the trailer, I laughed, ain't gonna lie. But then I checked his Facebook, like I often do. You do? Often? He pointed out this ain't nothin' like the show he was on. The one we watched when we was kids. An' he right. An' it got me thinkin' about all these reboots. Why they always takin' serious shows an' rebooting them as comedies? Why can't they go the other direction? I think I speak for us all when I say I wanna see a dark, gritty remake of Mr. Belvedere. I'm not sure "us all" means what you think it means.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-02-04 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-02-04 Pub. Date: 2017-02-04
Image Number: 153976
Caption: Mr. Fitzhugh, I'm not happy with the changes you made to that movie trailer I produced for DC. It's supposed to be a light-hearted superhero comedy. And? Yayle. CEO of the Year 2002. And, you somehow made it look all dark and gritty and brutal. And? "Bat-Cow" is not supposed to seem this serious. Let's agree to disagree.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-03 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-03 Pub. Date: 2016-11-03
Image Number: 150474
Caption: I can't believe you're going to vote for Hillary Clinton. She's a criminal. How so? Seriously?! Benghazi … emails … Bill's mistresses … Whitewater … Travelgate … Vince Foster … Exactly what in any of that was a "crime"? Well … the emails thing would be a crime if it were anyone other than her who did it. Maybe. Ipso facto, the rest were crimes too. I'm not sure "ipso facto" is an actual thing.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-22 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-22 Pub. Date: 2016-10-22
Image Number: 149909
Caption: I don't care what the evidence says, the "Central Park Five" were guilty of assaulting that woman! I said it before and I'll say it again: what were they doing there in the first place, playing checkers? Trump. Seriously, Mr. Trump? Why would black and brown kids be in a park? SERIOUSLY? EXACTLY! You see my point. Very suspicious.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-08 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-08 Pub. Date: 2016-09-08
Image Number: 148217
Caption: Why don't you like kids, Susan? I don't know. Maybe it's just that I don't like double standards. For instance if a grown person ran from room to room naked, yelling "booga-booga" over and over again, he'd be locked up. But if a kid does it, it's magically ok? Seriously? 36 years later, you still won't let me live that down? You ruined my whole first holy communion.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-04 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-04 Pub. Date: 2016-07-04
Image Number: 145502
Caption: I'm tired of liberals talking about that outspoken gun advocate who used her gun to shoot her own daughters. One little thing she did wrong doesn't change the fact that she was right when she used to say she needed guns to protect her family Are you serious? And I'm tired of libs trying to create some "pattern" from the 30,000 isolated incidents that happen every year.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-25 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-25 Pub. Date: 2016-06-25
Image Number: 144902
Caption: Sir, I just found out Gary earns 15% more than I do. I'd like an explanation. Well, it's simple, Garcia: Gary has a wife to support. You don't. That's why he's paid more.. Seriously, sir? That explanations the worst. But earlier you said you'd "like" it. You lied. And you wonder why Gary's paid more.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-11 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-11 Pub. Date: 2016-05-11
Image Number: 143023
Caption: Seriously, you should cast me in your commercial, Susan. I've always wanted to act. I need money. The thought of connecting with an audience on an emotional level is just intoxicating. I need money. I've always wanted a chance to connect with an audience on an emotional level I need money. I REALLY wish I could, Lemont, but I can only cast union actors. You'd probably stink. (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-26).
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-04-22 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-04-22 Pub. Date: 2016-04-22
Image Number: 142116
Caption: Hi, this is Lemont Brown. I'm looking for a good preschool for my son, and you come highly recommended. Yes, he interacts "well" with other kids Yes, he "follows" directions Yes, he's potty "trained." What do you mean you're rejecting my son? Seriously? How could you tell I was using air quotes over the phone? ... Hello? Do not lean on door.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-03-03 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-03-03 Pub. Date: 2016-03-03
Image Number: 139627
Caption: 1983. You know what would be really cool? If Eddie Murphy was president. Why Eddie Murphy? Because his State of the Union speeches would be hilarious. He could dress in a leather suit, do funny voices, cuss a lot The only thing standing in his way is that he's an entertainer. And America is too serious to put an entertainer in charge. Ronald Reagan's in charge now. That's different. Momma says he was never all that entertaining.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-12-12 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-12-12 Pub. Date: 2015-12-12
Image Number: 136224
Caption: I'm glad you're finally going to meet the guy I've been seeing, Lemont. It's important to me that you like him. I think I'm starting to lean toward being inclined to feeling the preliminary precursor to falling for this guy. You're my bff. I want to know if you see yourself seeing the same things I suspect I may see myself seeing in him. You guys sound seriously close to being serious about maybe getting serious. I wouldn't go that far.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-25 serious 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-25 Pub. Date: 2015-10-25
Image Number: 133804
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tried to change the subject by saying "Yeah but black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but your rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters biggern all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them asteroid craters?
     
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