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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-10-28 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-10-28 Pub. Date: 2016-10-28
Image Number: 150423
Caption: Pentagon Demands Signing Bonuses Back From Soldiers After they Return From War Zone. Well, yes, it was our mistake. But think how much more patriotic you look to the folks back home. Pento.
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-08-08 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-08-08 Pub. Date: 2016-08-08
Image Number: 147284
Caption: A-Rod Leaves the Yankees. Hey, can a couple of you guys help me get this out to my car? Could I get a little cooperation? A little teamwork? Hmmm? Anybody else? Good-bye party for A-Rod. Please sign if you intend to go.
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-12-08 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-12-08 Pub. Date: 2015-12-08
Image Number: 136357
Caption: Private College Presidents Now Making Higher Salaries Than Ever. Well, of course our students love me. They have no choice. Office of the Pre$ident. Tuition is good. Financial aid. Kollag.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-08-14 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-08-14 Pub. Date: 2014-08-14
Image Number: 115361
Caption: University Regents Celebrate Paying Student Athletes More Money. After all, if it weren't for you we wouldn't have those television contracts. And all that money to pay ourselves! I say everybody gets a raise! All in favor? I'll take his drink. After all he has practice tomorrow. Stoont Athleet. Cheap snax.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-07-31 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-07-31 Pub. Date: 2014-07-31
Image Number: 114781
Caption: In New York, the Metropolitan Opera Goes on Strike. The NLRB is Asked to Mediate. Have you been to the opera before? No. This is my first … National Labor Relations Board. Unfair. Program. Make-up. Helga. Rouge. Me! Me! Me!
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-02-03 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-02-03 Pub. Date: 2014-02-03
Image Number: 107258
Caption: JPMorgan Chase's Jamie Dimon Gets 74% Raise. But Mr. Dimon, you're the CEO, you don't have to do this … I know, I'm jus trying to make it more interesting … This is a stick-up. Put $20 million in small bills in a bag. This window closed. Bang.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-09-29 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-09-29 Pub. Date: 2013-09-29
Image Number: 102380
Caption: A Congressman Seeks Clarification from the Leadership. Mister Speaker … If we close the government … I mean … We still get paid, right? Ho - ho … well, of course … Good lord, we're crazy, not stupid. Schneider's …
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2005-01-01 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-19 Pub. Date: 2005-01-01
Image Number: 94906
Caption: USA. No work. $150 shoes. Indonesia. Lots of work. No shoes. The world according to Nike.
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-03-18 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-03-18 Pub. Date: 2013-03-18
Image Number: 94897
Caption: New York Yankees Threaten Reduction of Pay Scale. Don’t take it so hard … … Everyone makes foolish errors. Yeah, but last year I was being paid more. NY. New York.
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-12-06 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-12-06 Pub. Date: 2012-12-06
Image Number: 90981
Caption: Some of Senator DeMint's Constituents Drop By. Whar's thet foreflusher Dee-Mint? Whut's he mean quittin' here to go off to some slick job after we ee-lected him to beat up the president? Now, now, Senator DeMint will be able to be just as much a right-wing lunatic at the Heritage Foundation as he was here working for the good people of South Carolina. Don't these goobers know how hard it is to make a million dollars a year in these times?
     
12. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-05-15 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-05-15 Pub. Date: 2012-05-15
Image Number: 81123
Caption: At the JP Morgan Chase Annual Meeting. Think how bad things would be if we hadn't paid that nice Mr. Dimon $23 million… That was close…
     
13. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-11-14 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-11-14 Pub. Date: 2011-11-14
Image Number: 73156
Caption: Education and Football. Next time you need an electrical engineer, call a football player. Next time you need a surgeon, call a football player. Next time you need a nuclear physicist, call a football player. Next time you need a Chinese translator, call a football player. Next time you need an architect, call a football player. Next time you need a computer scientist, call a football player. Next time you need an aerodynamic designer, call a football player. And of course if you need someone knocked on their ass at a cost of a couple million dollars, give us a call. Hey you!
     
14. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-27 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-27 Pub. Date: 2011-10-27
Image Number: 72540
Caption: Welcome Home! Ok, soldier, you're home from the war. So … What skills do you have? Well … I can march. I can shoot. I can blow thing sup. I was making $500 a week. Oooh … $500 a week! Why didn't you say so. We got lots of openings for someone like you.
     
15. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-05 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-05 Pub. Date: 2011-10-05
Image Number: 66624
Caption: Look! These perfidious Americans threaten tariffs to protect lazy American workers who do not want to work for Chinese wages! What will they think of next?! Ok! Enough discussion of international economics! Back to work! US Threatens Tariffs.
     
16. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-10-05 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-10-05 Pub. Date: 2011-10-05
Image Number: 66677
Caption: Quotes Are Stubborn Things. "We're going to close the unproductive tax loopholes that allow some of the truly wealthy to avoid paying their fair share. In theory, some of those loopholes were understandable, but in practice they sometimes made it possible for millionaires to pay nothing, while a bus driver was paying ten percent of his salary, and that's crazy. Do you think the millionaire ought to pay more in taxes than the bus driver or less? Ronald Reagan. June 6, 1985. Reagan. Reagan? Well, you know, the lights were on ...
     
17. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2011-02-18 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2011-02-19 Pub. Date: 2011-02-18
Image Number: 57600
Caption: Protests in Wisconsin! Wisc. Teachers Unite! Wisconsin Workers' Rights! Teachers for a living wage! Unite Wisconsin! Solidarity! Now and forever! Workers not Walker. Stop. Walker hurts kids. No, Fred. NO!
     
18. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2010-11-04 salary 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2010-11-04 Pub. Date: 2010-11-04
Image Number: 53893
Caption: We're shocked (shocked!) to discover record Wall Street Bonuses will be paid this year. Your winnings, sir. A gift from the people of the …. Oh. Thank you very much.
     
Result page:     (18 images)