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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about runs and running.

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81. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-23 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-23 Pub. Date: 2015-09-23
Image Number: 132890
Caption: Boss, I think I found the perfect woman for you. She's quick-witted and beautiful! She's waiting to meet you. Are you insane? What kind of amateurish operation do you think we're running here? A candidate for any position I offer has to go through three rounds of interviews. If the candidate impresses my underlings, then the candidate gets to have an audience with me. The 1% date differently than the rest of us. What's her FICO score?
     
82. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-22 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-22 Pub. Date: 2015-09-22
Image Number: 132889
Caption: Rudy, I think you're ready for more responsibilities. You mean you want me to handle our suppliers? You want me to go to Colombia and oversee the coffee bean supply chain? You want to give me an expense account? I want you to scope out our patrons and alert me if any of them seem to be good fits for me romantically. But don't let them know you're running credit and background checks on them. It could ruin the mood. Very bad man.
     
83. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-20 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-20 Pub. Date: 2015-09-20
Image Number: 131973
Caption: Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over … baseball season's nearly done. The time is growing short to see the man-meat hit home runs. Their rippling biceps swinging wooden bats hard through the air … their quadriceps pump, unbridled, while I sit there and stare. And when they slide into home plate, there's always a slim chance ... that if they slid in wrong, they're a-gonna split their pants! I don't think I'll ever be able to un-hear that.
     
84. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-13 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-13 Pub. Date: 2015-09-13
Image Number: 131663
Caption: Rudy, we're going to have to cut expenses. We already did that, boss. I don't think you're clear on the concept, minion. It's a way of life. Did you read one book and then never read again? Did you listen to one song and then never listen to another again? Did you kiss someone once and then never again? Cutting expenses isn't something you do just once. A good businessman cuts expenses constantly. Whether he needs to or not. You trim the fat. When you run out of fat, you trim the nerves and the muscle. When you run out of that, you start slicing every last molecule of bone you can. The goal is to see if you can maximize your profits while running on pure marrow. That, my minion, is the holy grail. I call it The Tao of Armstrong. Armstrong Maynard. If I can ever figure out how to cut the marrow, I will have touched the face of god. Everyone has their own religion.
     
85. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-12 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-12 Pub. Date: 2015-09-12
Image Number: 132289
Caption: "Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! Kanye West said he's running for president in 2020, and I don't know whether to weep or move to Canada. Canada Canada Canada! Everybody always wants to move to Canada whenever they think the USA has taken a turn for the worse! None of you lily-livered quitters could stand a single Canadian winter, let alone stare down a moose at six paces. You want Canada? You can't handle Canada! How tall is a moose?
     
86. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-18 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-18 Pub. Date: 2015-08-18
Image Number: 131351
Caption: The Ask Sadie Show. Actual answers for actual reader questions. Dear Sadie, have you thought of running for office? With your bombastic personality, you'd be a natural. - Emily from Dallas. Donald Trump stole my act! The moral of the story is, when filing candidacy papers, never get sidetracked by a "Price is Right" Marathon.
     
87. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-17 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-17 Pub. Date: 2015-08-17
Image Number: 131350
Caption: Hi, this is Hillary Clinton. Can we make this quick? I'm hoping for a call from Bernie Sanders. I'm just calling to remind you I'm running for president. Do you know Bernie? What's he like? Yes, I know Ber … Anyway, I'm calling to tell you a little more about me, American citizen, so you can get to know your next president as a human being. House of Java.net Cybercafe. My mother's name was Dorothy, for instance. Did Dorothy know Bernie Sanders? What'd she think of him? Good guy, right?
     
88. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-14 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-14 Pub. Date: 2015-08-14
Image Number: 131013
Caption: Boss, there's a tornado outside! It's five minutes late. What? What are you talking about? Dozens of terrified locals just ran into our café seeking shelter. What should I … wait … You couldn't possibly … couldn't possibly have leased an artificial tornado machine from a Canadian inventor? How do you have time to consider such silly ideas when you should be out there selling the refugees comfort food?
     
89. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-06 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-06 Pub. Date: 2015-08-06
Image Number: 130661
Caption: Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: BERNIE SANDERS. Specifically, we'll be asking "What does it mean that this man has never run a negative, personal ad?" Well, I'll tell you … IT MEANS BERNIE SANDERS IS UNAMERICAN! Insinuating that your opponent is a lying, godless, traitorous scumbag is one of the pillars upon which this great nation was founded.
     
90. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-07-07 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-07-07 Pub. Date: 2015-07-07
Image Number: 129350
Caption: Hi, this is Donald Trump. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. I'm calling to tell you I'm running for president. Ok. Have a good time. What do you mean "have a good time"? Is that supposed to be some sort of backhanded insult? Are you not taking me seriously? Well guess what, idiot, the feeling is entirely mutual. House of Java Cybercafe. Wait ... What? What just happened? Play dumb if you want, loser. it's probably why you're not as rich as I am.
     
91. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-22 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-22 Pub. Date: 2015-06-22
Image Number: 128752
Caption: Hi, this is Jeb. Jeb who? I'm officially announcing that I'm running for president. Jeb who? Let's not talk about the past. Mistakes were made. Nobody could've foreseen how Iraq would turn out. I'm my own man. I'm proud of my family. House of Java Cybercafe. Then why aren't you mentioning your last name? That's not important right now.
     
92. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-21 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-21 Pub. Date: 2015-06-21
Image Number: 127850
Caption: Krycek, totally. No way. Lando, my friend. Lando. There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek. Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is. That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day. Stop! When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about. That Krycek. Oh, how I hated him. Stop!!! Krycek wasn't fit to comb Lando Calrissian's mustache.
     
93. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-15 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-15 Pub. Date: 2015-06-15
Image Number: 128444
Caption: It'll come down to Bush vs. Clinton, little buddy. How do you know? Because people keep saying "I don't want a Bush or a Clinton." The country doth protest too much, methinks. True. People always say they hate sequels, but sequels always earn tons of money. If Theodore Roosevelt IV decides to run, all bets are off.
     
94. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-14 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-14 Pub. Date: 2015-06-14
Image Number: 127575
Caption: Hello, Rudy. What would you like, Uncle Mort? I'd like you to promise me you'll give due consideration to Bernie Sanders. Not sure we have that. Stop joking. This may be America's last chance to avoid a dystopian future where we're all slaves to a heartless corporate-run plutocracy. What do you have against dystopian futures run by heartless corporations? Some of our best movies and video games are set in that kind of future. I'm not going to win this one, am I? Can Bernie Sandwich give us replicants and hover-cars? SANDERS!!! I'm looking forward to playing two-player with my clone.
     
95. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-10 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-10 Pub. Date: 2015-06-10
Image Number: 128138
Caption: So you're not running for the Republican party's nomination for president? I'm dropping out to spend more time with my family. What family? You don't have any "family." You don't even have a girlfriend, or any prospects. You don't have so much as a hamster. The closest thing you have to a dependent is the mouse that lives under your bed. If you're quitting 'cause you can't win, just say so. I'm pursuing opportunities in the private sector. Stop it.
     
96. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-09 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-09 Pub. Date: 2015-06-09
Image Number: 128137
Caption: I hear you're running for president as a Republican, Rudy. It's the latest thing. Well, do you have a Sugar Dadd - I mean, a "billionaire patron" yet? What do you mean? It's a well-known fact that Republican candidates who poll in the single digits can compete very well if they're either wealthy or backed by someone who's wealthy. I've been wanting to back my own stooge. It's the latest thing. New announcement, everyone: I'm dropping out of the race.
     
97. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-08 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-08 Pub. Date: 2015-06-08
Image Number: 128136
Caption: I don't know why you're surprised. It's totally in character for your nephew. This is just going too far. Not really. Rudy has an obsessive need to be part of anything he sees the rest of the country doing. I have it on good authority the internet based its "trending" algorithms on Rudy's brainwave patterns. I'm officially running for president as a Republican! ... and I'll be voting for Clinton!
     
98. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-06-05 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-06-05 Pub. Date: 2015-06-05
Image Number: 127848
Caption: Tonight, on "Cops," a local man leads police on a high-speed chase through Best Buy. It all began when clerks noticed he was coming in every day to upgrade different obsolete items. When he ran out of his own obsolete hardware, he began rummaging through other customers' pockets looking for old cellphones to upgrade. He zoomed free, but cops had no trouble tracking the perp down. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't - Maybe next time "Rudy" will think twice before personalizing his Segway's license plate.
     
99. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-24 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-24 Pub. Date: 2015-05-24
Image Number: 126580
Caption: Quadruple espresso. Uncle Mort … what about your blood pressure? Never mind my blood pressure! Make sure it's caffeinated! Ok. Every major Republican and Democrat running for president this year is a corporate stooge. Democracy is kaput! Zzz. Decaffeinated caffeine from now on.
     
100. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-05-18 run 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-05-18 Pub. Date: 2015-05-18
Image Number: 127259
Caption: Hi, this is Hillary Clinton. Yes, I know, you're running for president. You may not know this, but I'm running for president. But I'm not doing it for me, I'm doing it for you. This is about your story, average citizen. This is about your struggles. Your hopes. Your dreams. You, you, you, you, you. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Can I ask you a question? No. As I was saying, I'm running to give you a voice. A vote for me is a vote for you.
     
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