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Candorville

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Result page:    2  Next  (30 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-10 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-10 Pub. Date: 2017-09-10
Image Number: 161858
Caption: My uncle keeps sending me crazy, paranoid conspiracy theories he hears on Youtube. Dr. Noodle. It all started a few years ago when he sent me an email about how the victims of the Hindenburg crash were all crisis actors. These same victims died on the Titanic! He wrote. Then he told me President Obama was setting up Femur Camps, where he'd be letting the Illuminati harvest our femur bones for voodoo incantations to turn all our frogs into insomniacs. When I asked him why on earth would anyone want to do that? he said I had been brainwashed by the cabal that runs both the fake news and the pepperoni industries. So I replied why would they waste their time brainwashing me? What would they gain from that? Does your uncle have a hobby? Get him to refer uncle!!! $$$$$$$ ... because it's possible that you're his hobby. He said they've brainwashed me into thinking there's nothing to gain from brainwashing me.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-17 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-17 Pub. Date: 2017-08-17
Image Number: 161534
Caption: Hello, me, I'm you form the future. I've come back in time to ask you to do a wider variety of activities. Go visit seedy bars in foreign lands and get into misadventures with the locals, become a reality tv star and then run for office. Go live amongst the Aborigines in Australia and when you return, try to smuggle a kangaroo past customs. Anything! Our grandkids are tired of hearing the same five stories over and over again, is that I'm saying. Zzzzz.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-05-26 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-05-26 Pub. Date: 2017-05-26
Image Number: 158344
Caption: … So Ace Peerless and I were parasailing, and out of nowhere, he took out his knife, cut his cords, and plummeted into the ocean. Of all the times I've had men run out in the middle of an argument, that was by far the most annoying. Susan, I said my old college roommate Rudy Park is a Russian spy, and a federal agent put me on a plane to Moscow to follow him and expose how he's helping Putin blackmail the president! Not being heard. That is my biggest pet peeve, Lemont. Ace knows that. Could you pick my son up from daycare?
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-13 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-13 Pub. Date: 2016-12-13
Image Number: 152111
Caption: I've had THREE "Loves of my Life." Sasha Mitchell … Which just … didn't work out … Another … which just didn't work out … and "Vancouver." This one is different. This time, all the signs -- Oof!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-12-12 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-12-12 Pub. Date: 2016-12-12
Image Number: 152110
Caption: Lemont! It's so good to hear your voice! How's Canada? How's your girlfriend? I haven't seen her yet. You know how hectic travel can be. First my plane was late … then I had to work … Then I ran into a bunch of me's from alternate universes who all warned me not to visit my girlfriend. Y'know ... the usual. Dios mio. Get out of your hotel and go see her!
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-16 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-16 Pub. Date: 2016-11-16
Image Number: 151018
Caption: At a run-down bar in Canada, Lemont runs into himself from an alternate reality. In 2013, the Supreme Court gutted the Voting Rights Act … because racism was over. Three years later, America elects a white supremacist sympathizer for president. On the bright side, now I don't feel so bad about MY America electing President Kardashian. Trade?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-13 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-13 Pub. Date: 2016-11-13
Image Number: 150252
Caption: Your suggestion didn't work, Susan. Thinking about baseball should have worked. Did you do it right? What do you mean? Did you think of the boring, repetitive parts? I tried. I thought about the batter swinging the bat around in the on-deck circle … the runners going around and around the diamond ... the batters swinging and almost always missing ... but instead of distracting me, it relaxed me. It wasn't boring, Susan. It was rhythmic. Baseball is a Zen-like experience that puts you into a trance. It frees the mind and makes it easier ... not harder ... for your mind to wander where you don't want it to go ... so it didn't stop me from wondering who's going to run for president in 2020. Ok, plan B: Try doing long division in your head.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-09 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150714
Caption: Lemont runs into a curious stranger at the American Pub in Vancouver. On my earth, America voted wrong. WW III Vet. I was kind of hoping that wouldn't happen here. Well … that's nice. Not really. He's in search of the best possible earth. There, he'll dispose of "Lemont" and assume his identity. You know what they say about assuming. Do you have to say that every ... single ... time?
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-16 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-16 Pub. Date: 2016-10-16
Image Number: 149095
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes even three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills? They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-14 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-14 Pub. Date: 2016-10-14
Image Number: 149613
Caption: I finally ran into Vancouver at a party that night. One thing led to another … and we found ourselves parked in her car at 2am on a bluff overlooking the moonlit ocean. It was magical. It felt as if the earth was no bigger than that car, that we were the only two people on it, and it was moving beneath our feet. Turns our we'd forgotten to set the parking break. We rolled downhill into a police car.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-13 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-13 Pub. Date: 2016-10-13
Image Number: 149612
Caption: I kicked myself for not asking Vancouver for her number … but there was still one more day of the convention. So the next morning, I strolled around the hotel, and then around the block, hoping I'd run into her. My Fitbit told me I ended up strolling for eleven miles that morning. There's a thin line between love and stalking. Turns out she'd slept in.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-01-30 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-01-30 Pub. Date: 2016-01-30
Image Number: 138300
Caption: The Double Date. So, my best friend says you're a writer, like him. No offense, but how do we know you're not just using him, hoping to get published on his blog? Sent. She's replying I write a humpr column that runs in about 1800 papers in three labguages. I've written two New York Times best-sellwrs. They've been adqpted into a Broadway play, a movie, and a TV seriea on HPO ... Well her spelling is atrocious. Pretty sure they're typos. Your best frond is in good hands.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-20 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-20 Pub. Date: 2015-09-20
Image Number: 132207
Caption: Kelly texted me again the other day. I hadn't heard from her in two years. I thought I'd never hear from her again. What did she want? To see if I was still madly in love with her. She wanted to see if I would still be willing to run away with her and start a new life, no matter the consequences. She wanted to see if her voice was still the air I breathe, and if I still saw moonlight when I gazed into her eyes. She said all that? Not in so many words. She just said "hi," but I knew what she meant. I'm going to schedule you for some extra sessions. I think I'm over her, doc. I didn't answer her at all, for five whole minutes.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-01 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-01 Pub. Date: 2015-07-01
Image Number: 129038
Caption: Funny thing: I brought some fries home, put them on my window sill for a minute, and went to the bathroom. When I got back, the window was open and the fries were gone. Say, those fries look awfully familiar. They say if a man go far enough in the world, he eventually run into some 'nother dude who got fries what look just like his own. That's not what they say Clyde. I might consider sharin' some with you when I'm done.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-16 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-16 Pub. Date: 2015-06-16
Image Number: 128377
Caption: I just read yet another article about teenage girls running away to join ISIS. It turns out that when ISIS advertises for new recruits on social media, they forget to mention the part about how they sell girls into slavery for as little as a pack of cigarettes. If the world can't beat them on the battlefield, maybe we can get them on false advertising. We got Al Capone on tax evasion, you know.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-05 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-05 Pub. Date: 2014-10-05
Image Number: 116484
Caption: The Economist ran a book review where they called for a more "objective" look at slavery. They whined that "almost all the blacks in [this] book are victims, almost all the whites are villains." What, that surprise you, Big L.? Next thing you know, people gonna look into the slaves' high school records to see if they ever got suspended. Then they gonna go through the slaves' Facebook photos an' if they don't find no thug poses, they'll just Photoshop some gold teeth on the bruthas. They'll say Kunta Kinte stole a pack of cotton balls so he deserved what he got. Good talk, Clyde.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-20 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-20 Pub. Date: 2014-07-20
Image Number: 113319
Caption: It's like he's not even the same man I married. Dr. Noodle. How so? He used to mow the lawn every week. Sometimes every day. Sometimes three or four times a day. He used to come home from work, go straight into the shed, whip out that lawn mower and ride around on the grass for hours and hours and hours. It was a new lawn mower. I was excited about it. But now it doesn't run as well as it used to. Have you thought of getting pills. They make pills to keep Kentucky Bluegrass from getting overgrown? What? What? If it's so important to you, go get someone else to mow it.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-05-02 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-05-02 Pub. Date: 2014-05-02
Image Number: 110713
Caption: I think J.J. Abrams is secretly running Hillary Clinton's Presidential campaign. Think about it: J.J. is famous for not admitting the obvious. People suspected ALL ALONG that the villain in "Star Trek Into Darkness" was Kahn, but he was all coy about it anyway. And people suspected ALL ALONG that the "Lost" finale would suck, but he kept that a "secret" too. Just say she's running already, Abrams. Geek.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-06-03 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-06-03 Pub. Date: 2013-06-03
Image Number: 97638
Caption: What's going on, Lemont? Wanna see Star Trek Into Darkness? Lemont You texted me with a "911." I ran out on a date because of that. Please tell me you dont consider seeing Star Trek to be an emergency. Ok What would you like me to tell you? NEVER ABUSE THE "911"!
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-08-31 run into 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-08-31 Pub. Date: 2012-08-31
Image Number: 86878
Caption: What's your name? What? Are you serious? We've been running into each other at this bus stop for almost ten years and you don't even remember my name? What's my name? Don't change the subject. Time. Thank God for Culture Clash.
     
Result page:    2  Next  (30 images)