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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (48 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-09 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-09 Pub. Date: 2016-11-09
Image Number: 150714
Caption: Lemont runs into a curious stranger at the American Pub in Vancouver. On my earth, America voted wrong. WW III Vet. I was kind of hoping that wouldn't happen here. Well … that's nice. Not really. He's in search of the best possible earth. There, he'll dispose of "Lemont" and assume his identity. You know what they say about assuming. Do you have to say that every ... single ... time?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-09-23 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-09-23 Pub. Date: 2016-09-23
Image Number: 148765
Caption: "Fraud: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn't. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "Prison: A building in which people are legally held as a ... " Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-06-07 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-06-07 Pub. Date: 2016-06-07
Image Number: 144220
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." Brian, Linda accuses you of stepping out in her with her mother. I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! I ain't never do that, Maury! Lie detector results are in, and they show that you … DID have relations with her mother. Sometimes you just need a break from the stupidity of the Donald Trump elections. Shh! They 'bout to say it Brian's son also be Brian' brother-in-law.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-08 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-08 Pub. Date: 2015-07-08
Image Number: 129283
Caption: Do you know what story you want daddy to read you tonight? Beaw. Daddy can't read you the bear book because you threw it out the window earlier today. Daddy told you, when you throw things away, they're not yours anymore. Thtop it! You can't make consequences go away by saying "stop it." Thtop it!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-11-27 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-11-27 Pub. Date: 2014-11-27
Image Number: 119347
Caption: Tampering with this mail will result in FEDERAL JAIL TIME. You have failed to enroll in Federal Debt Repayment Service. If you do not enroll with ten days, YOU WILL FACE PENALTIES.* *FDRS is a debt consolidation company not affiliated with the government, and we have no idea why you would think enrollment is mandatory. Enrollment is not mandatory. Lemont Brown.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-18 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-18 Pub. Date: 2014-09-18
Image Number: 116481
Caption: "FRAUD: Wrongful or criminal deception intended to result in financial or personal gain." See? It does apply. No, it doesn’t. That definition says nothing about Concast paying us $10 million to hire Denzel Washington as a pitch-man, but us hiring Cuba Gooding Jr. instead for $200k and using the rest of the money to pay back our creditors. "PRISON: A building in which people are legally held as a punishment. Never mind, it was just an idea.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-09-14 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-09-14 Pub. Date: 2014-09-14
Image Number: 115705
Caption: This morning while I was having a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, I bit myself three times. Science is a total fraud, Susan. Huh? In the entire history of mankind, how many times have people bitten themselves on the inside of their cheek while they were eating? Probably more times than there are grains of sand on earth.. But when I googled it this morning, how many results showed up for the phrase "total cheek bites, average daily cheek bites per capita, and rate of correlation between cheek bites and fatal infections"? Zero. But when I googled "health benefits of peanut butter," guess how many results turned up? ... That's right, millions. Scientists are in the pocket of big peanut. who eats peanut butter sandwiches for breakfast?
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-07-14 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-07-14 Pub. Date: 2014-07-14
Image Number: 113732
Caption: The other day, you quoted a study that said we'd had one school shooting a week since Newtown. That meant 74 shootings. YOU LIED!!! If you leave out every shooting that was suicide, gang- or robbery-related, accidental, or didn’t result in any injuries ... there were only fifteen shootings! So ... if you disregard most of the school shootings, there weren't very many school shootings at all. Next time do your research!
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-05-30 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-05-30 Pub. Date: 2013-05-30
Image Number: 97402
Caption: The guys watch "The Maury Show." I ain't the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! Yes you is the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! No I ain't the daddy! Hold on … Let's find out. We have the results of the paternity test. You in trouble now! Brian, in the case of Linda's baby, Little Brian Jr, you are. BEEEEEEP! This is the Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program to say "Are you really watching this #$%?"
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-03-24 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-03-24 Pub. Date: 2013-03-24
Image Number: 94390
Caption: Gregs-list.org. Jobs: TV-video/find talent. Trained polar bear for commercial. Search. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Gregs-list.org. Results: EXPERIENCED, trained polar bear available for freelance work. 20 years of commercial, film and television experience. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Multiple awards, including an Oscar, a Clio, and a Blue Ribbon at the Los Angeles County Fair. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. Recent clients include Tyler Perry, Burger Queen, Taco Alarm and Animal Planet. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006. My day rate is six endangered seals and two fishermen all doused in oyster sauce. Please send details about your project and note whether your skull is sweet or tangy. Advertising Executive of the Year. 2006.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-12-08 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-12-08 Pub. Date: 2012-12-08
Image Number: 90582
Caption: The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not … It's lack of mental capacity legally freeing one from civil or criminal responsibility. The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not ...
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-09-24 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-09-24 Pub. Date: 2011-09-24
Image Number: 65730
Caption: The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not. It's lack of mental capacity legally freeing one from civil or criminal responsibility. The definition of "insanity" is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. No it's not.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-02-17 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-02-17 Pub. Date: 2011-02-17
Image Number: 57401
Caption: Spare change? You could pay Walmart $5 for an unnecessary gadget I might invent. After years of it gathering dust in your home, you'll throw it out, disgusted with yourself for having wasted $5. And I'll be $5 richer. … Or you could cut out the middleman and just me $5 now.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-12-01 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-12-01 Pub. Date: 2010-12-01
Image Number: 54752
Caption: The whole "Gay Marriage" thing isn't turning out as we'd said it would. Fear, Inc. It's been legal in a bunch of states for years now, and hasn't destroyed the institution of marriage or made people want to marry their pet turtles. … And it's given extra business to the whole wedding industry: printers, clothiers, caterers ... Don't forget divorce attorneys. "GAY MARRIAGE LEADS TO MORE DIVORCES!*" Oh, how I want to kiss whoever invented the asterisk (unless it was a dude).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-09-10 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-09-10 Pub. Date: 2010-09-10
Image Number: 51718
Caption: My book signing went so well that I just know SOMETHING good's gonna come from it. I can just it! I just don't know what it is yet! That's cool, Lemont. Are you planning on MAKING something good come from it … or are you planning on sitting back and HOPING something good comes from it. "Planning"? Google it.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-08-26 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-08-26 Pub. Date: 2010-08-26
Image Number: 51239
Caption: Editors discuss results of a reader survey … Sir, if we don't replace "Cathy" with something that appeals just as much to the female demographic, we'll lose 29% of our readers. Not to worry, Olsen. I took care of it. I have Cathy grooming her replacement right now. No ... with more angst. First of all ... brotha ain't sayin' "ack." Second, I ain't wearin' this @#$%.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-11 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-11 Pub. Date: 2010-02-11
Image Number: 43926
Caption: I know it's anathema to my profession … But there's an emerging school of thought that fear of public ridicule is a major factor in maintaining sanity. Try posting your delusions to your twitter account. You'll be shocked sane by the resulting mockery. How many people constitute an "emerging school of thought"? That's not important right now.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-09-25 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-09-25 Pub. Date: 2009-09-25
Image Number: 38662
Caption: Are you the anti-universal health care protestor? I'm with Dubble Cross Health Insurance. We can't cover your accident. You'll have to vacate this bed. What? Why? You apparently neglected to mention a pre-existing condition: you once were wrenched from a tight space and a part of your body was severed, resulting in trauma. ... You mean I was BORN? In layman's terms. Well-played. I thought you'd like it. Here's your bill.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2006-05-20 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-08 Pub. Date: 2006-05-20
Image Number: 13788
Caption: It's all downhill for me now. My best days are behind me. You shouldn’t be seen with me, it'll just embarrass you. Susan, I'm a has-been. There used to be 58 references to me on Google, and now there are only 52. Dios mio.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-06-29 result 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-06-29 Pub. Date: 2009-06-29
Image Number: 35732
Caption: 2000. Some polls show Gore wins Florida, but the vote count gives it to Bush. Odd. Crazy conspiracy theorist. Bush is our rightfully elected leader. 2004. Some polls show Kerry wins Ohio, but the vote count gives it to Bush. Odd. Crazy conspiracy theorist. Bush is our rightfully elected leader. 2009. Some polls show a moderate wins in Iran, but the vote count gives it to the hardliner. Odd. FRAUD! THEY CLEARLY STOLE THE ELECTION!!!
     
Result page:    2  3  Next  (48 images)