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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (52 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-13 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-13 Pub. Date: 2017-08-13
Image Number: 160919
Caption: Hi momma … What do you mean you've been deported? … Yes, yes, I do know about your love for bean pie. What's that have to do with … Really? ICE raided Muhammad's Bean Pie Shack? … But why would they think you weren't a citizen? … So what if you didn't have ID! This is Ameri -- They did what? They asked you questions to make you prove you're a citizen? ... What questions? ... I see. Listen, momma, when armed goons handcuff you and demand that you tell them who the president it, I don't care what your politics are, you don't answer "Donald Duck." ... Yes, momma, I do see the similarities. But the time for political satire is before they come for you. Not during. Yes, I am flossing regular -- Momma, let me call a lawyer -- Yes, I know, but Cousin Pookie is a divorce attorney. No, it's not the same --
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-26 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-26 Pub. Date: 2017-03-26
Image Number: 155437
Caption: Yesterday, I visited my 97-year-old grandpa for the first time in six months. Dr. Noodle. He opened his door. I said "Grandpa! I missed you!" He looked me up and down and said "You gained a pound." It was all I could think about the whole time. As I drove him to his favorite restaurant, I was worried the seatbelt made me look bulgy ... When we ordered, I felt like he was judging my choices and so I only ordered crackers and water. When I hugged him goodbye, I sucked my gut in as hard as I could. Why don't we just focus on the fact he hugged you? When he hugged me, he said "You at that whole cracker."
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-09 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-09 Pub. Date: 2015-08-09
Image Number: 130320
Caption: Little Tyrant Pizza Can I take your order? Yeh. Gimme one of them Big Mac combos. Are you serious? We don't sell Big Macs, sir. We're a pizza parlor. When you deliver them pizzas, you be drivin', right? Yeah. So on your way back from deliverin' your next pizza, go on through that McDonald's drive-through an' pick me up a number one, with no onions. I can't do that, sir. What, you ain't wanna earn some extra bills on the side? What wrong with you? Well ... Ok, I guess I can. While you at it, I got some draw's in the laundromat should be finished right 'bout now.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-04-22 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-04-22 Pub. Date: 2015-04-22
Image Number: 125856
Caption: I never cared for Hillary Clinton. But that's changing. The other day, her critics dumped on her for going to Chipotle, ordering food, and leaving without talking to people. When I'm grabbing a burrito, I'm there to grab a burrito, not to work the room. "Mind your business" would actually be a great campaign slogan. Dios mi - Wait ... yeah, it kinda would.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-10-16 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-10-16 Pub. Date: 2014-10-16
Image Number: 117632
Caption: But there are a lot of potential customers there. No. I just need to borrow ya kid for one hour. No. Thug 4 Life. Just to get into Chuck E. Cheese. No. Then what I'm s'posed to do with my 10 kilos of bubble gum? Good talk, Clyde. (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-24).
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2014-01-01 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2014-01-01 Pub. Date: 2014-01-01
Image Number: 105639
Caption: How's the resolution thing going? Still holding doors open for people behind you? Yeh, I was at Roscoe's Rib Shack held the door open for an old man. Fool walked right through WITHOUT THANKING ME! Can you beleedat? Can I what? So then I had words with him. As soon as he agreed to be more courteous, I released him from the headlock. Wait ... what? (This cartoon originally published 2011-01-04).
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2013-07-16 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2013-07-16 Pub. Date: 2013-07-16
Image Number: 99241
Caption: With Obamacare coming, corporations everywhere be figurin' out ways to get out of it. Fatburger gonna "share" employees with other Fatburgers. Thug 4 Life. That way, ain't no one gonna work enough hours at any one place to qualify for health insurance. Whatever. Give me back my Fatburger. I'm helpin' you keep a clear conscience.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-05-24 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-05-24 Pub. Date: 2012-05-24
Image Number: 81180
Caption: But there are a lot of potential customers there. No. I just need to borrow ya kid for one hour. No. Thug 4 Life. Just to get into Chuck E. Cheese. No. Then what I'm s'posed to do with my 10 kilos of bubble gum? Good talk, Clyde.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2012-01-20 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2012-01-20 Pub. Date: 2012-01-20
Image Number: 44350
Caption: I like to keep my pant size the same as my age. (Originally published on 2010-02-27.)
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-11-08 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-11-08 Pub. Date: 2011-11-08
Image Number: 72735
Caption: Lemont interviews Herman Cain. Yeah, some women accused me of sexual harassment when I was CEO of the National Restaurant Association. And yeah, I said I didn't know anything about that, only to admit later I knew plenty about it. But this is all just a distraction. Can we please get back to discussing how I'm going to run government like I run a business.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-29 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-29 Pub. Date: 2011-01-29
Image Number: 56624
Caption: What I would like is for somebody to tell me whether we'd still have the works for Vincent Van Gogh if antipsychotic pills were around back then. Or the writings of Jack Kerouac. Or the achievements of mathematician John Nash. What I would like is for someone to tell me how many geniuses we'll never have because their brilliance is stifled by drugs. We're all out of that, but we do have good tuna melt.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2011-01-04 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2011-01-04 Pub. Date: 2011-01-04
Image Number: 55832
Caption: How's the resolution thing going? Still holding doors open for people behind you? Yeh, I was at Roscoe's Rib Shack held the door open for an old man. Fool walked right through WITHOUT THANKING ME! Can you beleedat? Can I what? So then I had words with him. As soon as he agreed to be more courteous, I released him from the headlock. Wait ... what?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-11-21 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-11-21 Pub. Date: 2010-11-21
Image Number: 54276
Caption: So anyway, I'm in this Thai restaurant, and Which one? Doesn't really matter, for this story. Ok. Anyway, I overhear the couple at the next table talking. He says "B-- Are they old or young? What's the difference? Young. Ish. Anyway he says "But you always order the chicken satay!" What ethnicity are they? Does. Not. Matter. Anyway ... she replies "Don't feel like it anymore." So he gets all sad and says ... "If you can get tired of chicken satay ... who's to say you won't get tired of me? What's the lady wearing?
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2007-07-29 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-07-18 Pub. Date: 2007-07-29
Image Number: 18169
Caption: Chinese Food. Crack! Crack! Your lotto # is 6-11-18-7-42-6-1. Hmm mine's blank. Hah! I guess that's it for me, then. Bonk Rustle. Rustle.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2010-02-21 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2010-02-21 Pub. Date: 2010-02-21
Image Number: 44142
Caption: That's funny-looking salt. What's with the salt? It's a blend we have made specially for us. What're all these brown spots? Those are minerals. Iron, phosphorus mined by hand at the base of the Himalayas. Wow. They give it a tangy aftertaste you can't find anywhere else. I see. And these cobwebs? Silken decorations weaved specifically for us.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-08-02 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-08-02 Pub. Date: 2009-08-02
Image Number: 36968
Caption: Thanks for agreeing to meet me. You have till I'm done with this salad. Susan, losing you made me see myself through your eyes and I didn't like what I saw. I was an insensitive jerk. But I've done a lot of work on myself these last few months, Susan. Pass the ketchup. Why do you want ketchup? ... Anyway, we had something special. Please give me another chance. Snookums, I've changed. Did you save room for dessert, ma'am? No thanks. I'm watching her weight. Note to self: Never pass the ketchup.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-17 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-17 Pub. Date: 2009-05-17
Image Number: 33604
Caption: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one my iPhone's satellite map showed would be the quickest route to the nearest Panda Express.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-05-03 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-05-03 Pub. Date: 2009-05-03
Image Number: 32153
Caption: AAAAGH! What? What?! I was creepin' up on this dude wallet. He never saw me comin'. But outta no place he threw some salt over his shoulder. Went right into my eyes. AAAAAGGH! Well, clearly he was throwing salt over his shoulder for luck. Huh? Kinda like how we all nuzzle the Buddha statue's belly whenever we go to a Chinese restaurant. Guess it worked for him, huh? What? Why're you looking at me like that? we all WHAT?
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-23 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-23 Pub. Date: 2009-03-23
Image Number: 31147
Caption: Meanwhile, in the city Where are you taking me?! Where are you taking me?! Make some noise one more time for my man Joaquin Phoenix! Clap. Yeh. All right. Man, this club is wack. It ain't that bad. Next up, we got someone new to the stage Erebody make some noise for Republic National Committee Chairman MICHAEL STEELE! I'm going to Denny's. Y'all like bling? The GOP's got ya' bling. What!
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2009-03-14 restaurant 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2009-03-14 Pub. Date: 2009-03-14
Image Number: 30806
Caption: Hey! There is absolutely no ham in this hamburger! What're you goin' on about? False advertising! I'm going to sue! Or we can settle out of court. I'll accept $600. I'll give you five. Or better yet, I'll give you one. Hey!
     
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