I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.
You were caught on videotape being nice to Rudy? Repeatedly. These tapes cannot get out. I implore readers to ignore this. And please, please, please … Do not tune in to my radio show next week to hear the gory details!! Um … Did this just get suspect? Oh, the things I'll reveal live on the air next week. Ignore it, I beg you all!