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Candorville

Comics and cartoons about relationships.

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-11-16 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-11-16 Pub. Date: 2018-11-16
Image Number: 174939
Caption: I was up all night wondering what might have been, Susan. The lives we could have led … the things we could've done … how far we could've come by now. But it's just … it's just too late now, Susan. Not really. You could dump your girlfriend, and we could see what happens. What? How would my dumping Vancouver make it so that the Library of Alexandria was never burned down? I ... guess ... it wouldn't.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-10 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-10 Pub. Date: 2018-10-10
Image Number: 174389
Caption: I think the worst part of being dumped is the thought that you'll just fade away. I mean, you go from being the most important person in someone's life, to being a memory. It's a slow death. You know that every day you become more and more of a distant memory. Until sooner or later ... you're just gone. One of my exes once told me that. I don't remember which one. Maybe you just have a bad memory, Lemont.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-09 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-09 Pub. Date: 2018-10-09
Image Number: 174388
Caption: Did you hear the Ask Sadie show today? They were talking about breakups. Specifically, how to break up with someone without hurting their feelings. I find the best way to protect her feelings is to just disappear. Then she ain't cry at you or nothin'. Just 'cause you're not there to see her cry doesn't mean she's not crying, Clyde. Yeh it do, bruh. It one of them tree fallin in the forest things.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-08-06 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-08-06 Pub. Date: 2018-08-06
Image Number: 173373
Caption: If she complains about me giving her ultimatums one more time, it's over. Ph.D. M.A. Couple's therapy.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-01 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-01 Pub. Date: 2018-07-01
Image Number: 172353
Caption: I'm not happy. I think I married the wrong person. Dr. Noodle. But I can't leave. Leaving is too hard. I mean, we've got all the same friends. They'd hate me. And she's got complete control of the bank accounts. What would I do for money? But maybe I could just start all over. Who needs any of that stuff? There's a whole world out there. Maybe it's not too late to explore the world, wrestle and alligator, move to Jamaica, change my name, and meet the woman I was really meant to be with. Sometimes it actually is too late. Zzzzzzzz.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-24 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-24 Pub. Date: 2018-06-24
Image Number: 172211
Caption: I've left you, Sadie, and I'm never coming back. I've had enough of your slander about me being indecisive. And I'm tired of your likes about how I never do chores. And I'm fed up with you defaming me by telling everyone I snore like a chainsaw. And I'm done with you maligning me by saying I have a poor memory. And I'm done with you maligning me by saying I have a poor memory. You know what else? I've had enough of you slandering me about being indecisive. Never mind, that one's not so bad.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-20 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-20 Pub. Date: 2018-05-20
Image Number: 171354
Caption: I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 month guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the Girl Scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... then? I hate myself for not noticing she had to have been at least 23 years old.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-03-04 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-03-04 Pub. Date: 2018-03-04
Image Number: 168475
Caption: The other day, Kelly texted me hi. So right away I texted back three paragraphs saying hi, asking how she was, and whether she wanted to meet. Dr. Noodle. Did she write back? Yeah. About six hours later, she sent me an lol. So right away I texted back an lol plus four paragraphs asking how her day was, and pointing out that she didn't say whether she wanted to meet. Did she write back? No. I kept checking my phone the rest of the night, but she never wrote back. She finally wrote back three days later. What did she write? She wrote I miss you. OMG. That's exactly what I wrote! Right away. Plus five paragraphs asking if she wanted to meet.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-24 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-24 Pub. Date: 2018-02-24
Image Number: 168665
Caption: Hello, mom, you've reached Lemont Brown. I can't come to the phone right now because I'm out on a date with a girl other than the one you keep trying to set me up with. Please leave a message, and I'll get back to you as soon as she's broken my heart and I'm ready to come to my senses.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-23 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-23 Pub. Date: 2018-02-23
Image Number: 168664
Caption: Twitter. Twitter.com/Candorville. Lemont Brown: On date now. Someone call me so she can hear my Star Trek communicator ringtone & I can judge her reaction. #momentoftruth #is-she-a-keeper?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-19 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-19 Pub. Date: 2018-01-19
Image Number: 167359
Caption: Oh, you got a big date tonight? Glad you came in. I could do somethin' for you. I could tell you ain't no haircut in the world gonna make a woman like you. If she like you, she like you. In fact, only thing a woman like more than a man who's all put together is a man she can put together. I don't think we like the same type of woman. Women like a scar, too. I could give you one. That'd be extra. (Originally published on 2016-01-01).
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-17 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-17 Pub. Date: 2018-01-17
Image Number: 167357
Caption: I'm not in love with my girlfriend anymore. How do I fix that? C-Dog's Incredibly Bad Advice 50¢. Here what you do, bruh: Pretend she ain't your girlfriend. Pretend she the hot single women you first noticed. You mean try to look at her with fresh eyes again? I meant go see other women ... but that could work too. (Originally published on 2015-12-30)
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-12-03 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-12-03 Pub. Date: 2017-12-03
Image Number: 165351
Caption: Every time a cop shoots a black man, someone tries to change the subject by saying "yeah but … black-on-black crime is a much bigger problem." Let's imagine they did that for everything. Let's do this. "Taxes are too high." Yeh but … you rent cost a lot more, so whachoo whinin' 'bout? "Politicians don't listen to us." Yeh, but ... men don't truly listen to women in they relationships. Deal widdat first, if you serious about people bein' heard. "The city should fix all these potholes." Yeh but ... erytime a big meteor hit us, it make craters bigger'n all the potholes combined. How I'm supposed to take you serious about them potholes when I ain't never heard you say nothin' about them in asteroid craters? Good game, Clyde.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-21 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-21 Pub. Date: 2017-11-21
Image Number: 165148
Caption: What's the best way to make a girl forget a guy? Pretend you ain't got no sense of humor. If a bertha don't make a woman laugh, she gonna forget about him real quick. If that don't work, change your number, change your name, an' move to another state. No, I meant I want a girl I like to forget about another guy she likes. I gave one piece of advice a day. Come back tomorrow.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-15 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-15 Pub. Date: 2017-11-15
Image Number: 164872
Caption: So … Lemont … where's that "Vancouver"? For a "girlfriend," she sure isn't around much. She's on a big book tour. Her book's been translated into 23 languages, so her tour's taking her everywhere. You don't seem to like her much. That's you imagination. She's lovely. Oh. Well, anyway, that's why I don't see her much. Right now she's in Djibouti to start the Africa leg of her tour. (Sigh) That old excuse.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-11-14 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-11-14 Pub. Date: 2017-11-14
Image Number: 164871
Caption: I miss Vancouver, Susan. When I'm not with her, it's like I can't breathe. It's like I can barely see color. I can barely feel anything. The taste of my food barely registers. It's as if all the sounds I hear are a pale echo of what they once were. Do you think that means she's the one? I think it means you need health insurance.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-01 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-01 Pub. Date: 2017-09-01
Image Number: 162091
Caption: Hey, Clyde. Wanna go hang out on the roof? Don’t you do that with Susan? Where she at? She's not talking to me right now. I told her I couldn't just take Joss Whedon's wife's account of their marriage at face value, because people sometimes don't tell the entire truth. Them's your mistake, bruh. You shoulda had just one thing to say 'bout the whole issue: "I don't care 'bout that." I think that's a dangerous philosophy. If something's in the news we've got to care. Wanna know why? I don't care 'bout that.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-08-05 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-08-05 Pub. Date: 2017-08-05
Image Number: 161035
Caption: You know what I love more than almost anything in this world, Clyde? … French fries. They're like a tragic, ill-fated romance. No matter how bad they are for me, I just can't stay away. Can I have some of your fries, Clyde? Sorry, bruh, my fries be monogamous.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-28 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-28 Pub. Date: 2017-07-28
Image Number: 160761
Caption: So … how are things going with you and Ace Peerless? Who wholess? Your boyfriend. Ace. He called me before I left Russia, and asked for the best way to propose to you. I said "One word: Balloons." I don't know this "Ace Peerless" of whom you speak. Have you ever thought of seeing a therapist about your commitment issues? No way. They want you to keep coming back.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-07-24 relationship 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-07-24 Pub. Date: 2017-07-24
Image Number: 160757
Caption: I'm glad you're not mad at me, Lemont. Why would I be mad at you, Susan? You didn't make me accuse my girlfriend of cheating on me just because she had an innocent dinner with some other guy. Sure, you sent me the video and warned me it was too painful to watch, so I sprung it on her sight-unseen and it turned out to be nothing ... and sure, you forgot to tell me they didn't leave together or exchange numbers ... And sure, you almost single-handedly wrecked one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life ... Well, I'm just glad you're no mad, old buddy. And sure ...
     
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