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Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons

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1. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2018-03-07 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2018-03-07 Pub. Date: 2018-03-07
Image Number: 169358
Caption: Recent Meeting of the Putin Administration (Let's Listen In). So gentlemen, who do we like for Secretary of State? Well, not that still, Mitt Romney, after what he said about our glorious leader. We don't need to compromise, gentlemen. We've got binders of people stupider than Romney. And Mitt Romney doesn't drink. How can we trust a man who doesn't drink. It's unnatural, and certainly, anti-Russian. Of course, Trump doesn't drink either, but that's top secret. Manafort told me. Romney ... too much hair. Useful stooges.
     
2. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-06-15 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-06-15 Pub. Date: 2017-06-15
Image Number: 159414
Caption: All Hail! Recent Trump Cabinet Meeting. Oink! Hosannas and praise unto … eh .. .well, I'll tell you later. What an honor, to be actually making more money! All honor to me … I can't tell you what an honor it is actually, I can't tell you … A blessing and an honor ... all in one! What an honor! What? Me worry? Back to New York! I don't remember ever being so honored. I don't remember anything ... Well, the three best things about Trump are ... I. Um ... Ooops! The best father-in-law a boy could have! 4 sale. Children of America, help is on the way ... if you have the money. What an honor! I have never been so honored! I'm not a doctor, well actually I am but ... Dad ... maybe you can honor us with a tweet. Now, hold still ... President of ...
     
3. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2017-03-25 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2017-03-25 Pub. Date: 2017-03-25
Image Number: 156369
Caption: Form 1040. Department of the Treasury. Internal Revenue Service. U.S. Individual Income Tax Return. 2016. OMB No. 1545-0074. IRS Use only - Keep your greasy fingers off this space. For the year Jan. 1 - Dec. 31, 2016 (And thank God THAT's over!). 2016 ending. 20. See separate instructions. Your Name (Phonetic Spelling). Your Name Used on Dating Service (Attach Recent Photograph). Your Social Security Number. Your gang or mob name (Ex: Louise Pepperoniface, etc) Your Travel Name (Do Not Use Mohammed). Your Other Social Security Number. Address of Your House Before Foreclosure. Crappy apt. you moved to. Bass Ale! How about a cold one right now? (adv.) City, State or Exit from Jersey Turnpike (if you have foreign address, go there and wait for instructions.) Presidential Election Campaign. Checking Here Will Not Make a Damn Bit of Difference. You. Whatshername. Instructions: Drop Dead. Except for Canada, Canada still OK. Eh? Filing Status. Or Fling Status. (It is later than you think.) 1. Single (in the Republican sense of the word). 2. Married Filing Jointly (include all arguments). 3. Married Filing Separately (include sex of partner if you remember). 4. Head of Household (are you the person who sits with head in hands and wonders how you are going to feed all these mistakes, er dependents?) Enter names of dependents. Write small. 5. Qualifying widower. Enter golf handicap. Exemptions. See Publication EXX "Exemption to Exemptions to Exemptions". If more than four exemptions, or if some exemptions have four legs check here. 6a. Yourself. (That's right, you, stupid. If you are not yourself, who did you claim to be?). b. Spouse (or anyone who thinks they should be) (That's a funny word. "spouse") c. Dependents: 1 First name. Nom de plume or AKAs. Phonetic Social Security Number. Last known address? Does this dependent follow instructions? (See instructions). Boxes checked. No. of children who had live-in girlfriends/boyfriends. Had their divorced spouses living with you. You asked to leave but they had no place to go. Add numbers on lines above. (OK to use fingers). d. Total number of exemptions claimed (Round up to nearest 3/5's). Income. Attach forms here. Attach a couple of Andy J's while you're at it, to speed processing. Your ad here! Read by millions! Contact IRS Media. Helpful Hint. We are not going to give you any helpful hints. 7 Wages, salaries, tips, bottle deposits, bribes, free lunches, coins found in couch cushions. 8a Taxable interest. Attach Schedule B. If you don't understand, go to plan B. b. Tax-exempt interest. Much more interesting, isn't it? 9a Ordinary dividends. Nothing special, just Joe the Dividend. b Qualified dividends. Big Whoop. Trump's Rich Friends. 10. Taxable Refunds. Bank error in your favor. Pass GO, collect 200. 11. Alimony received (if that bum ever paid up). 12. Business Income or (loss). Use Schedule EZ come, EZ go. 13. Capital gain of (loss). Include your share of the national debt. 14. Other gains or (losses). Check box if you are just making stuff up. 15a. IRA distributions. b. Amount you had with Lehman. 16a. Pensions and annuities. b Amount with State of Illinois. 17. Rental real estate, royalties, partnerships (Use Schedule X to report missing partner). 18. Farm Income or (loss), Attach Schedule F (Do not include the funny farm). 19. Unemployment compensation (Amazing isn't it? You get taxed on this, too). 20a. Social Security benefits b. Taxable amount. 21. Other Income. (Bake sales, washing cars, baby-sitting, bingo games, don't hide anything). 22. This is your total income. Unless you are General Electric. If so write zero. Adjusted Gross Income. Remember you can file this form electronically, using your computer, and really mess things up. 23 Educator expenses (Spankings, noogies, butt-kicking). 24 Certain business expenses that you as a mere nobody have no business knowing about. Just keep moving. 25 Health savings account deduction. (May make you sick.) 26 Moving expenses. (See instructions). 27 Instruction tax. 28 Self-employment tax. 29 Self-enjoyment tax. 30 Penalty for early withdrawal (One-half of self-enjoyment tax). 31a Alimony paid. Rat out spouse's SSAN. 32 USSR tax (Useless Social Security Recipients). 33 Student loan interest (Do not include English majors). 34 Lack of interest in being a student. 35. Add up lines one to a million, divide by twice the total sum of your weight in Chinese running shoes. If greater than one-half of total something, go forth and multiply. 36. This is your adjusted gross income (Adjusted? We mean disgusted.) Now we can go to page two, tra-la. Last thought: Any money or thing of worth laying around? Better send it in. Just in case. Hey, you never know. Cat. No. 11320B. Form 1040 (2016).
     
4. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-26 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-26 Pub. Date: 2016-07-26
Image Number: 146661
Caption: Hey Kids! How about a Career in Politics! Like Debbie Wasserman Schultz!! Young Debbie. Non-stop - Florida. Recent photo. Next bus any minute. I (heart) politics.
     
5. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2016-07-12 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2016-07-12 Pub. Date: 2016-07-12
Image Number: 146048
Caption: China claims some new islands prove they own the South China Sea. Wait a minute ... I don't remember that one. Part of China. South China Sea Map ©1950. That looks like something created recently. Mmmmm. Let a thousand egg rolls blossom.
     
6. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-10-09 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-10-09 Pub. Date: 2015-10-09
Image Number: 133942
Caption: Clinton Staff Deal with Another Server Recently Discovered. Quick! Kill that thing I don't know anything about! Die! Die! H.
     
7. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2015-03-14 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2015-03-14 Pub. Date: 2015-03-14
Image Number: 124461
Caption: Recently Retrieved Yoga Positions on Hillary Clinton's Personal Phone. The Downward Peeking Dog or the Modified Chappaqua. The Flying Mortal Triangle or Who Whacked Vince? The Boat or Floating Down Whitewater. The Cat-Cow Position or the Benghazi Hairball. Clinton 2016. The Caucus Twist or Aid to Iowa Farmers, Yes! The Bird of Paradise or Biden Who? The Reverse Logic or Next Question. The Secret Phone Call or My Name is Hillary and I'll Be Your Server.
     
8. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2014-09-30 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2014-09-30 Pub. Date: 2014-09-30
Image Number: 117222
Caption: Secret Service Reports on How They Caught Mr. Gonzales at the White House. First report said Mr. Gonzales was caught at the fence. Second report said … well, uh, he actually got farther. Third report said he was actually captured inside the White House. Rachel Maddow. Correction to third report said he was chopping vegetables in the kitchen. Most recent clarification says, well, actually, er ... he was caught in the Oval Office being interviewed to replace Eric Holder. Hmmm ... Impressive.
     
9. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-11-18 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-11-18 Pub. Date: 2013-11-18
Image Number: 104195
Caption: The Annotated Cheney Family Thanksgiving 2013. Heather Poe, also known as the one responsible for all this mess who beguiled Mary Cheney into a life of sin and depredation (in some states) recently revealed to be related distantly to whatshisname Edgar Allen and possibly a black cat.* Lynn Cheney (the mother) seen here preparing the dinner. Known for political opinions to the right of Eva Braun, but now really too old to care any more. Liz Cheney, candidate for the US Senate under the misguided notion that the people in Wyoming are stupid and not paying attention. She has told them forty thousand times that she is a Wyoming person who sleeps with her horse. But they think she is from Washington D.C. because she is. I (heart) Wyoming. Vote for another CHENEY or go ______ yourself. Dick Cheney, federally insured heart patient, seen here self-medicating with his secret wife Scooter Libby. George W. Bush, former vice-president of the United States (correction - President of the United States) (well, you know) and family friend, invited for dinner, but restricted to pretzels, and silence. Mary Cheney, a happily married (she says) woman who seems bent on running her sister's campaign for the US Senate. *for the love of God, Montressor!
     
10. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2013-06-23 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2013-06-23 Pub. Date: 2013-06-23
Image Number: 98647
Caption: M. Depardieu, Recent Russian Citizen, Advises Mr. Snowden. Ah, mais non, my fran', you do not want to go to Ecuador. Stay here in Russia. You can drink all day and night. Low taxes and you can drive drunk! I tell you, c'est paradis! Garcon! Encore ...
     
11. Cartoonist Jeff Danziger  Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons 2012-10-26 recent 
Cartoonist(s): Jeff Danziger
Comic/Cartoon: Jeff Danziger's Editorial Cartoons
Viewable Date: 2012-10-26 Pub. Date: 2012-10-26
Image Number: 89263
Caption: So you say you've been raped? You got any recent polling data to back that up? Get Karl Rove. Laws and Stuff. Ha, ha!
     
Result page:     (11 images)