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Rudy Park

Comics and cartoons about being ready and readying.

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Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2019-03-31 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2019-03-31 Pub. Date: 2019-03-31
Image Number: 176826
Caption: Welcome to today's hottest game show: What's My Own Password? In today's $1 million bonus round, Denver single mother Caroline Jones faces the ultimate test. Are you ready, Caroline? I think so. We've randomly selected from your personal internet accounts. To win the dough, you just have to remember your login and password for your ... online bank account! Thirty seconds. Go! Tick, tick, tick, tick. Login is ... um ... is it my maiden name? Yes! Halfway there! Twenty seconds to go. Um ... is my password my daughter's name with 1-2-3 at the end? Final answer? Wait! Is it my son's name backward? Birthday inverted? Son's birthday? Time's up! You've forgotten your own password! Sob. Sob.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-12-23 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-12-23 Pub. Date: 2018-12-23
Image Number: 175268
Caption: Are you ready for the greatest treat in the world? Please don't do this. You are about to see the cutest baby. He's adorable. Excellent. I love babies. Did I tell you? Don't speak. Looks like a 90-year-old member of the British Parliament. Speechless, I know. Want another peek? No, please! No, it's too incredible for me. Beauty is in the eye of the mother.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-08-19 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-08-19 Pub. Date: 2018-08-19
Image Number: 173393
Caption: Eureka! Hide the children and their wallets. I've figured out a solution to the problem of rising health-care insurance costs. Premiums are rising 25% per year but we're getting less coverage. Finally, with my new plan, businesses and consumers can fight back. Ready? As I'll ever be. We need to get 25% more illness and disease. Time to get your money's worth, people. Who wants strep throat? Only $5 a swab. It's come to this.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-07-23 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-07-23 Pub. Date: 2018-07-23
Image Number: 173108
Caption: Said Cohen? Who's askin? Someone who is about to make your dreams come true. Why? Are you gonna let me yell at you until you bleed? Caustic. Quick-witted just as Facebook led me to believe. What the heck are you talking about?!?! Nothing. Ready to experience pure joy? I'm ready to attack!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-21 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-21 Pub. Date: 2018-01-21
Image Number: 166993
Caption: Tonight on The Price is Right! Three people compete … to the death. Animal Planet brings you the gruesome mating dance of the preying … CNBC stock analysts, Jane Ponziskeem and Chuck Boughtman. You two both see, to agree the President's tax … Calamity was the most apocalyptic thing that ever happened in the history of the inner solar system. The devastating impact blew much of the earth's crust into orbit. After millions of years, it all coalesced to form ... Disney. The company now owns much of our popular culture. Aside from its catalogue of Disney films, the behemoth now owns the rights to Star Wars, the rights to X-Men, the rights to the Fantastic Four, and the rights to - you're behind. But you can catch up easily! You can get your revenge, with Montezuma energy drink! Side effects may include projectile hurling, incontinence, colorectal warming, and -- Whales! Admiral, there be whales here! Well done, Mister Scott. How soon can we be ready for warp speed?
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-16 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-16 Pub. Date: 2017-10-16
Image Number: 163915
Caption: So anyway, I went to that flash mob in Charlottesville last week. I showed up ready to do the uptown funk while a guy proposed to his girlfriend. I spent all week practicing my moves in the mirror. I dropped $200 on the glittery tuxedo. But when I got there, I was the only one who started dancing. Wait ... wasn't the flash mob in Charlottesville full of evil neo-Nazis and white supremacists? Do you know how easy it is to confuse "Charlottesville" with "Charlotte"?
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-25 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163103
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, I, Sadie Cohen, will discuss one topic: Hillary Clinton's book, "What Happened." It reminds me of the very first political memoir I ever read. The year was 1921. Warren G. Harding had just pantsed the Democrat James M. Cox. After emerging form the woods, loser Cox was ready to reflect. He traveled by donkey from town to town to hawk his book: "That Which Occurred." When she's gone, all these little details will be lost to history. This is almost as good as her show about Grover Cleveland's third nipple.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-18 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-18 Pub. Date: 2017-09-18
Image Number: 162860
Caption: I'm panicking. You know how the Andromeda galaxy is supposed to collide with our Milky Way in billions of years? What are you talking about, little buddy? I just learned that there's an awful lot of ionized hydrogen from Andromeda's halo that's already touching the ionized hydrogen from our galaxy's halo. I'm not following. It's like when you're in your 30s and your hand brushes against a girl's had for the very first time. HOJ. I see. Why didn't you just say ... wait ... your thirties? ... and you panic because you're still years away from being ready.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-03-10 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-03-10 Pub. Date: 2017-03-10
Image Number: 155395
Caption: Boss, if you could be any animal on earth, which one would you be? I'm glad you asked, minion. I'd be a nocturnal, camouflaged Wobbegong at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. There I'd lie in wait, ever vigilant, ever hungry … ever ready to devour any creature large or small unlucky enough to brush against my whiskers. I'm going to back away now. No, no ... don't back away, minion ... That's when the Wobbegong will get you.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-09 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-09 Pub. Date: 2016-09-09
Image Number: 148230
Caption: I met a girl last night. It went well. Do tell. We saw each other through a crowd. I winked at her. She winked back. If all goes well, we may get to second base tonight. Second base? We may exchange smiley emoticons instead of just hitting "wink." Are you sure you're ready for that?
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-09-04 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-09-04 Pub. Date: 2016-09-04
Image Number: 147195
Caption: Today's man lesson is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never … promise … anything. Wait … What do you mean? Pretend you're the lady, ask me to promise you something. Ok … (ahem) … Promise me you won't ever even look at another woman? A man would have to be crazy to look at another woman when he could be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-06-26 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-06-26 Pub. Date: 2016-06-26
Image Number: 144348
Caption: Hello, you've reached Gavrilo O'Leary. If you're calling because you're the aliens in the UFO I saw through my telescope this morning … and you'd like to share the secrets of the universe with me, press one. If, on the other hand, you're calling to see if I'm home ... and if you're going to abduct me, probe my nether regions, implant a tracking device in my spleen and then wipe my memory so I can't report any of it ... press two. Boop. Oh, hello. Thank you for pressing "one." This is Gav. I'm ready to be enlightened. Oops. I meant to press "two." My bad. I see a blindingly bright light coming in through my window and my whole house is shaking. Maybe you guys could try just Facebooking me the info instead?
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2016-05-05 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2016-05-05 Pub. Date: 2016-05-05
Image Number: 142739
Caption: Play the last Donald Trump speech. Playing … Take out all the bragging. Processing … Ok, ready. Playing … Hello! … if … but you know what? They didn't count on … when … they said "Mister Trump" … and why … penguin … goodnight. Maybe put back some of the bragging. Processing ...
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-12-12 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-12-12 Pub. Date: 2015-12-12
Image Number: 136284
Caption: Play the last presidential debate. Playing … Hold on … first take out all the lies and stuff. Processing … Ok, ready. Playing … Hello, and welcome to the presidential primary debate. Thank you for joining us. … Thank you again for joining us for that debate. Good night. Wait ... what just happened? I obeyed your command.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-11-01 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-11-01 Pub. Date: 2015-11-01
Image Number: 133876
Caption: Ask Sadie. Actual questions from actual readers! Send your questions to asksadie@rudypark.com. Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be me? - Unhappy at Home. Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person. If you think "being you" includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast ... who will end up alone and miserable because no living creature other than rats and bacteria will be able to tolerate your disgusting habits. And one day, even Pizza Hut will stop delivering to you for fear of running across a toxic mushroom growing from the mound of unwashed undergarments behind your easy chair. That's the polite answer. Now get ready for some straight talk ... Send questions for Sadie to asksadie@rudypark.com
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-22 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-22 Pub. Date: 2015-09-22
Image Number: 132889
Caption: Rudy, I think you're ready for more responsibilities. You mean you want me to handle our suppliers? You want me to go to Colombia and oversee the coffee bean supply chain? You want to give me an expense account? I want you to scope out our patrons and alert me if any of them seem to be good fits for me romantically. But don't let them know you're running credit and background checks on them. It could ruin the mood. Very bad man.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-09-21 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-09-21 Pub. Date: 2015-09-21
Image Number: 132888
Caption: How do I find true love, Randy? You really want my advice? Of course. I'm not getting any younger. My business empire is performing beyond expectations … so I figure now would be a good time to expand my portfolio and acquire a love interest. I don’t think you're ready for my advice on that. I expect at least a 120% return on my affection.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2015-08-23 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2015-08-23 Pub. Date: 2015-08-23
Image Number: 130664
Caption: What's the first thing you remember? Why do you ask? Because it'll help the cosmologists. Come again? Cosmologists have discovered a lot about the universe. In 1990, they discovered cosmic microwaves are "black body radiation." What that means is, they discovered the microwave radiation that fills the universe conforms exactly to a pattern known as a "black body spectrum" that was predicted by models of the big bang. English!!! They proved the big bang happened. But one of the big questions cosmologists still can't answer is: "What came before the big bang?" Cosmologists everywhere would very much love to hear about your earliest memory. Get ready to experience the second big bang!!!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-09-07 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-09-07 Pub. Date: 2014-09-07
Image Number: 115314
Caption: Today's MAN LESSON is "The Art of Promising." I'm ready. Part one: Never … promise … anything. Wait … what do you mean? Pretend you're the lady. Ask me to promise you something. Ok … (ahem) … Promise me you won't ever even LOOK at another woman? A man would have to be CRAZY to look at another woman when he COULD be looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. And I'm not crazy. Notice, if you will, not only is there a complete absence of a promise ... ... there are also at least four iron-clad loopholes built in. Can you identify them? This is worse than math to me.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2014-08-29 ready 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2014-08-29 Pub. Date: 2014-08-29
Image Number: 115613
Caption: I met a girl last night. It went well. Do tell. We saw each other through a crowd. I winked at her. She winked back. If all goes well, we may get to second base tonight. Second base? We may exchange smiley emoticons instead of just hitting "wink." Are you sure you're ready for that?
     
Result page:    2  Next  (24 images)