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Candorville

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Result page:    2  3  Next  (42 images)


1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-14 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-14 Pub. Date: 2019-11-14
Image Number: 180301
Caption: Remember when we were kids, you wanted to write a story about a white slave in an alternate-universe America run by black slave owners? I've been wanting to read that book ever since. You should really write it. How do you remember that? I don't even remember that. That's why I explained to you the importance of keeping a meticulous journal, on April 11th, 1982. I don't remember that.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-08-28 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-08-28 Pub. Date: 2019-08-28
Image Number: 179193
Caption: Joe Biden keeps doing strange things … like saying he worked with segregationists to get things done. What was he thinking? It's as if he's trying to sabotage his own campaign. He must've never read my book: The Alpha Male's Guide to Not Lousing everything Up. Is that your book that just says go home on every page?
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-07-04 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-07-04 Pub. Date: 2019-07-04
Image Number: 178393
Caption: I finished reading the rough draft of your memoir, Lemont. Cool. The problem was, I realized that all my stories involved other people, who might not want me to write about them. So I wrote a mathematical formula to determine whether the juiciness of the story was greater than my desire to keep that person's friendship. Pretty lame excuse for not even mentioning me once in your memoir, best friend. No, it's a compliment, really.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-05-20 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-05-20 Pub. Date: 2019-05-20
Image Number: 177706
Caption: Sunset gets later and later every day, little buddy. So what? So, sunset happens later in the day. That means I can accomplish a lot more before smooching hour. I can run an extra ten miles. I can chop an extra cord firewood. I can catch an extra school of fish. I can prepare for my date my mining an extra nugget of lip balm from my secret lip balm quarry. I can download 30 extra books I'll never read.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-06-17 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-06-17 Pub. Date: 2018-06-17
Image Number: 172067
Caption: Why're you reading that … thing? Well, because it's interesting. It's a book of political cartoons. We Eat the Poor. Do you have any idea how important political cartoons are? Political cartoons helped bring down King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. And then there's Napoleon ... He was so terrified of cartoonists that he banned them. And when that didn't work, he commissioned cartoons to counterattack his enemies with. Hitler was terrified of cartoons. Nixon put cartoonists on his enemies list. Tyrants all over the world are jailing of killing them. No, I mean why are you reading that flappy think? Don't you have a Kindle or a phone? ... Someone needs to draw a cartoon about you.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-10-01 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162685
Caption: I just finished reading Hillary Clinton's book, "What Had Happened Was … " Sound like a good book, bruh. I thought so. But you know, the real title was supposed to be "What Happened." So I figured I was just seeing things. But then I notices something. Whachoo noticed, Big L? All the other books on my bookshelf had unfamiliar titles too. I noticed my old copy of "1984" was not called "2017." "Deliverance" was not called "They Shoulda Stayed They Butts at Home." the book I thought was called "To Kill a Mockingbird" was not called "Black Man's Tragedy as a Growth Experience for a Little White Girl." Do you happen to have Photoshop, a printer and too much time on your hands? Must be that "Mandela Effect" think you always be talkin' 'bout. Give me back my old bookcovers.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-25 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163097
Caption: Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my entire life being a journalist. Why bother? History just repeats itself anyway. Dr. Noodle. I just started reading a political memoir I heard about on the radio this morning. M.A. The Democrat James M. Cox wrote it after he lost the election of 1920 to Harding. It's called "That Which Occurred." He also blamed his loss on Bernie Sanders. I hope I can be as sharp as Bernie at his age.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-15 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-15 Pub. Date: 2017-09-15
Image Number: 162601
Caption: Six months, bruh. Six months till they start deporting 800,000 "dreamers" to countries they don't know how to live in. I dug a hole in my closet an' I got canned food. I'm ready. Ready for what? Ain't you never read "Anne Frank's Diary"? What are you asking: Have I read it, or have I never read it? You and your double negatives. Ain't you never heard of the Underground Railroad? Now you're just messing with me.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-02 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-02 Pub. Date: 2017-04-02
Image Number: 155710
Caption: You realize we've been fighting in Afghanistan for fifteen years now? The war's old enough to get a work permit. The war's old enough to get married in seven states, with parental consent. The Candorville Chronicle. Trump Hotel Mars not cause of NASA … The war's old enough to be held criminally liable for breaking the law. It's old enough to roll its eyes at its parents and think they don't know anything about anything. Dems consider, reject change. The Afghanistan war is old enough to have read Orwell's "1984," in which he wrote "The war is not meant to be won, it is meant to be continuous." Wait ... we're still in Afghanistan? The war is old enough to Google that quote and find out Orwell didn't really write that.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-03-07 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-03-07 Pub. Date: 2017-03-07
Image Number: 155380
Caption: Did you see Trump's address to Congress last week? Nah, bruh. Did you catch the "Gilligan's Island" marathon on channel 32 last night? . I don't watch broadcast tv. I only watch Netflix and Hulu. You wanna catch a movie? Watched them all off bittorrent for free already, bruh. You get Kanye new album? I only download songs I like and make my own playlists. Read any good books? C-Dog only read tweets.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-11-26 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-11-26 Pub. Date: 2016-11-26
Image Number: 151299
Caption: Dick Fink, come in. You know how we handle all the ads for the Candorville Press, the book publisher? They just showed me a manuscript for a novel set at an ad agency. The villain is an evil shrew named Supan Garpia. Did you write that book, Dick? Advertising executive of the year 2016. Absolutely not, Ms. Garcia. Although I must say, it sounds amazing. I would love to read that story. The author's pen name is "Rick Rink." Sounds like a guy who's going places.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-10-02 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-10-02 Pub. Date: 2016-10-02
Image Number: 148531
Caption: It's my memory, doc. The more I look into it, the more it's just all wrong. For instance … Dr. Noodle. The first book I ever read was a "Berenstein Bears" book called Up Down and All Around. But when I tried to buy it for my kid, I discovered it was BerenSTAIN bears, and that there was never a Berenstein Bears books called "Up Down and All Around." It's perfectly normal to misremember things like that. Even large numbers of people collectively misremember things. I remember "Berenstein" too. Oh ... yeah, I figured. It's a lot more likely than thinking aliens kidnapped me from an alternate reality where it was "Berenstein" and put me here ... not that I was thinking that. Take two "stay off the internets" and call me in the morning. Look up "Mandela Effect" and "Ford Logo" on Youtube and then tell me there's no multiverse kidnapping going on!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-08-10 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-08-10 Pub. Date: 2016-08-10
Image Number: 147067
Caption: I haven't finished reading a novel since my son was born. Taking care of him leaves me no time for any of my old hobbies. So I'm coming up with new hobbies he and I can do together. That makes sense. Today's hobby is going to be "Hide and Seek." I'll take about an hour to "find" him just so he'll think he's doing a great job hiding. How long does it take you to read a chapter in a novel? I don't see what that has to do with anything.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-05-13 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-05-13 Pub. Date: 2016-05-13
Image Number: 143025
Caption: What's the last book you read, Clyde? The Bible. Really? You read the Bible? Of course. The Bible tell us no matter what awful, horrendous, calamitous thing we done, it already forgiven an' forgotten. What did you do? If JESUS don’t remember, why should I? (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-02-28).
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-10-18 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-10-18 Pub. Date: 2015-10-18
Image Number: 133464
Caption: I never liked Donald Trump. I always thought he was just a blowhard. What are you talking about? You were crazy about Trump. Just last month you were right here, wearing a Trump hat, holding a Trump poster, and reading Trump's book. You told me you'd renamed your goldfish "Donald," and you had colored your hair orange. Newsweak. You said you were picking up "illegals" from in front of Home Depot to help you build a wall around your house. Let's not pretend you weren't totally into Trump. Who is this "Trump" of whom you speak? Stop that.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-26 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-26 Pub. Date: 2015-07-26
Image Number: 129550
Caption: I just started reading the book "2312." It starts on Mercury, where we built a city that constantly travels along rails to avoid the cataclysmic fire of the sun. It's hard to remember we're even capable of that sort of thing. We don't even build the world's tallest buildings anymore. We don't build much of anything. We barely even fill potholes. Once upon a time, we thought big. We built bridges. We carved new rivers. We sent men to the moon. But we've stopped thinking big. Did you know Saudi Arabia's building a tower that's almost twice as tall as our tallest building? Saudi Arabia ain't part of "we"? It ... That's not what I ... Oh, shut up.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-09 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-09 Pub. Date: 2015-07-09
Image Number: 129284
Caption: Pick another story, son. No! I want beaw! You threw the bear story out the window. It landed in a dumpster, and a mangy dog threw up on it. Do you really want your beloved father to climb into that mess, get bitten by that rabid dog, and possibly get hurt or sick, just to get that book? Yyyaaaaay! That was not an offer.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-07-08 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-07-08 Pub. Date: 2015-07-08
Image Number: 129283
Caption: Do you know what story you want daddy to read you tonight? Beaw. Daddy can't read you the bear book because you threw it out the window earlier today. Daddy told you, when you throw things away, they're not yours anymore. Thtop it! You can't make consequences go away by saying "stop it." Thtop it!!!
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-11 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-11 Pub. Date: 2015-06-11
Image Number: 128070
Caption: What's wrong? I'm reading "Abaddon's Gate." That Melba Koh is getting away with everything. Who's "Melba Koh"? She's like a lot of people. She thinks the world owes her respect … even though she's never done anything worthy of respect … even though she's completely self-centered. I hate characters who think everything's about them. Then why are you reading it? 'Cause the more I hate her, the more I know I can't possibly be like her. So it's all about you?
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-05-10 reading book 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-05-10 Pub. Date: 2015-05-10
Image Number: 126136
Caption: I'm reading a book called "Leviathan Wakes." It tells a story from the perspective of two different protagonists. Dr. Noodle. Neither knows just how much their stores are connected. It's like I've always thought: what if I'm not the only protagonist in my own life? What if there's somebody out there who's living the other half of my story? What if we're both on separate roads that are fated to converge at some pivotal, all-important moment? And what if I don't recognize this person's significance to my life and so we fail to connect?! I still think boring everyone you meet with your whole life story is a bad idea. But if I don't recognize their significance, they might recognize mine.
     
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