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Rudy Park

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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-06-15 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-06-15 Pub. Date: 2018-06-15
Image Number: 172244
Caption: I got a tip about a huge geological calamity that's about to happen across the bridge. This story could make my site famous. Could you watch my boy while I go cover it? 'Course, bruh. For $4,000. Cool … what? I been reading Trump's Art of the Deal. It say if a brotha want something bad enough, charge him fifty times your usual fee. Are you sure that's in there? I demand to know what page. Ok. How much that information worth to you?
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-29 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-29 Pub. Date: 2018-05-29
Image Number: 171958
Caption: I did some research. I read the respected New England Journal of Astrophysics, and it looks like you're right … Gamma ray bursts have to come from pretty close by in order to fry all life on earth. So we won't die. Their calculations showed that the worst a gamma ray burst could do is turn us green and make us very, very angry. Might want to doublecheck to make sure you weren't reading their April 1st edition. It's not all bad. They found it may also boost stamina and strength.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-27 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-27 Pub. Date: 2018-05-27
Image Number: 171404
Caption: What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it sounds iffy. Just give me the usual aspartame-trans fat medley.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-09 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-09 Pub. Date: 2018-05-09
Image Number: 171297
Caption: Ask Sadie Advice Hour, what's your problem?! NASA. I just read an article about how NASA canceled yet another moon mission. What are they hiding??? Excellent question. As you all know, I was an astronaut on the top-secret final Apollo mission back in 1973. Did you realize Apollo fro Battlestar Galactica was played by the lovely, departed Richard Hatch? I once worked soldering hatches on nuclear submarines. Wait ... are you trying to chance the subject? Submarine sandwiches, contrary to popular misconception, are not actually meant to be eaten under water. Coverup!!!
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-05-07 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-05-07 Pub. Date: 2018-05-07
Image Number: 171295
Caption: I read an article on Candorville.com about how we might not be the first advances civilization on earth. There's evident that mankind was far more advanced than we thought, but it was blown back into the stone age by some huge cataclysm. A lot of scientists disagree, but why else would mankind build 200 immense underground cities all around the world, if not to survive a cataclysm? I'm starting to think you just like saying the word cataclysm. I also read that we're cataclysmically overdue for another cataclysmic-level cataclysm.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-28 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-28 Pub. Date: 2018-04-28
Image Number: 170880
Caption: Don't tell anyone, but I'm pretty sure I saw a TR-38 last night. I was lounging on my roof, bathed in the supple blue glow of my iPad, iPhone, Kindle, Apple Watch, laptop and mini TV. Like ususal. Suddenly, I had the inexplicable urge to turn them all off. That's when it came into view: A huge, black, triangle floating right over me. It began to vibrate, and suddenly a single thought was projected into my head. "Keep at least one of these things off please. Your gigantic wattage is messing with our warp drive." Could've been swamp gas.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-04-01 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-04-01 Pub. Date: 2018-04-01
Image Number: 169596
Caption: Ask Sadie! I just read an article where Daisy Ridley said J.J. Abrams wrote drafts for Episode VIII and Episode IX. And then Rian Johnson THREW THAT OUT and went a whole different direction. This makes me lose all faith in Star Wars. Am I overreacting? **Actual reader question. Excellent question. This reminds me of the time I saw Gone with the Wind on opening day. I was the invited guest of an elderly veteran of the Civil War. He couldn't stop yammering about how seceding from the union didn't exactly go as planned. So I said to him I thought you were the Union! And I got up and walked out. Which was just as well, because in retrospect I'm sur ehe was trying to become my sugar daddy. And what was the question again? Ask Sadie. Almost answering questions since 1920-something. Send questions to asksadieshow@gmail.com.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-03-06 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-03-06 Pub. Date: 2018-03-06
Image Number: 169196
Caption: I've been reading a lot of ancient history lately. That's good, little buddy. The distant past is pretty fascinating. You're preaching to the choir. Before every date, I like to revisit the pax romana. The point in time when all the squabbling ceased and all of Europe got down to some good lovin'. What's your favorite time in ancient history? March 28th, 2015. that's when I retweeted a great tweet I'd written back on December 5th, 2014.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-02-10 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-02-10 Pub. Date: 2018-02-10
Image Number: 168191
Caption: In my day, they didn't give free lunches to poor children in school. If your parents couldn't afford to feed you, you went without. When you saw rich kids and their fancy sandwiches, you didn't expect the government to level the playing field for you. You pushed them down in the mud and stole those sandwiches on your own! I think I read about you in The Hunger Games.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-10 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-10 Pub. Date: 2018-01-10
Image Number: 167106
Caption: Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say now problem because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2018-01-01 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2018-01-01 Pub. Date: 2018-01-01
Image Number: 166785
Caption: You never told me what you thought of 'Star Wars.' I was waiting. For what? For the consensus. My own immediate reaction to any piece of entertainment could be biased. I need to read tweets and posts before I settle on a verdict. If my view differs too much from the hive mind, it's not valid.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-12-05 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-12-05 Pub. Date: 2017-12-05
Image Number: 165716
Caption: It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. Weepy in Wisconsin, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java.net cybercafe. I just read the most beautiful poem ever. It's called On Children, by Kahlil Gibran. I have two babies myself, and after reading that, I just can't stop weeping. When your babies are teenagers they'll wreck your car, steal your watch, and be ashamed to be seen with you. There. Have you stopped crying yet, loser? Still crying. Different reason. You're welcome. Next caller!
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-11-12 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-11-12 Pub. Date: 2017-11-12
Image Number: 164319
Caption: Hi, Rudy. What the -- ?! Don't rush me, Uncle Mort. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web. $12.50. What'd I say? You asked how last night's date went. You wanted to know If we hit it off … If we had a goodnight kiss … if there'll be a second date … If we went for long walks on the beach ... If we're getting serious ... if I've met her parents ... if I've thought of how to propose ... if she's said yes ... if we've moved in together ... if we've discussed giving you grand-nieces and nephews ... All I said was "Hi, Rudy." Family can always red between the lines. What the -- ?! I am not looking too thin! What the -- ?! Take that back, I am not getting wrinkles.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-29 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-29 Pub. Date: 2017-10-29
Image Number: 163866
Caption: I recently read "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up." It's changed my life, minion. Pay attention. May involve me. The reason a lot of us never have a truly clean house is, we settle. Settlers. Pilgrims. Turkey. Our clothes, for instance. Out closets are full of stuff we're just ok with. What should we do is take everything out, lay it all on the bed, go through it ... and anything we have to think about keeping, we toss. Floss. The only things you should keep in your closet are the ones that immediately fill you with joy. Almond Joy. Joy Behar. The human mind is much like a closet. To be truly happy, we must eliminate any unnecessary thoughts that don't bring us joy. I meditate every morning to ensure all my thoughts are profitable. It's important to focus. My next car might be a yellow Ford Focus.
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-07 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-07 Pub. Date: 2017-10-07
Image Number: 163387
Caption: The Ask Sadie Show. Actual answers to actual reader questions. Dear Sadie, When you were a teenager, did your parents tell you you were too young to date? How did you deal with that? - Frustrated with Dad. Never! In my day, there were no "teen-agers." You were either big enough to run the machinery, or small enough to be used as a pipe-cleaner in the machinery.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-10-01 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-10-01 Pub. Date: 2017-10-01
Image Number: 162744
Caption: Ask Sadie. Our resident surly lass answers actual reader questions sent to rudy@rudypark.com. Dear Sadie, My husband forgot my birthday. There was no cake, no trip, no party, no nice little gift, no card, no "happy birthday" whispered in my ear … NOTHING. How do I let him know how deeply that hurt me? - Hurt in Harford. Excellent question. It reminds me of the time I hunted down a wild boar in the Serengeti in 1951. Decades earlier, when I was but a young lass, nobody remembered my birthday, or so I thought. that night, dear old Grandmother Cohen surprised me with a loaf of bread topped with a flaming licorice stick. Just as I blew out the licorice, it happened: A young wild boar came out of nowhere, darted across our shack, grabbed my loaf in its slobbery may and escaped into the dark, stormy night. I tracked that boar for twenty years across seven continents before I finally caught him. Speaking of which, it's time for my daily ham sandwich. Anyway, what were we talking about? Ask Sadie, baby!
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-09-25 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-09-25 Pub. Date: 2017-09-25
Image Number: 163103
Caption: On today's Ask Sadie Show, I, Sadie Cohen, will discuss one topic: Hillary Clinton's book, "What Happened." It reminds me of the very first political memoir I ever read. The year was 1921. Warren G. Harding had just pantsed the Democrat James M. Cox. After emerging form the woods, loser Cox was ready to reflect. He traveled by donkey from town to town to hawk his book: "That Which Occurred." When she's gone, all these little details will be lost to history. This is almost as good as her show about Grover Cleveland's third nipple.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-22 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-22 Pub. Date: 2017-08-22
Image Number: 161807
Caption: Charlottesville changed everything, Randy. How so, little buddy? It's totally changed how I argue with people online. For the last few years, insults like "beta" and "cuck" and "SJW" and "virtue-signaller" were trending, so I used them all the time. But I just read that racists just like those who rallied in Charlottesville are the ones who invented those terms to control discourse and make opposing bigotry seem lame. It's going to be a lot harder to win debates without making cogent arguments if I can't use those terms anymore. We all have to make sacrifices.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-17 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-17 Pub. Date: 2017-08-17
Image Number: 161546
Caption: A few years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie Show, our resident octogenarian* asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. *(give or take a decade). Dear Sadie, You could try taking a trip to the Sahara Desert. Not only would it be an adventure, but you'd be the perfect person to catalog all the changes it's undergone. After all, you're probably the last person alive who remembers it when it was still a lush, ancient swamp. Happy Crisis, Anderson W. Stockton, CA. If you'd like, I could show you what it felt like when the tectonic plates collided. Advise Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Rudy Park 2017-08-10 reader 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Rudy Park
Viewable Date: 2017-08-10 Pub. Date: 2017-08-10
Image Number: 161300
Caption: I just read an article at Candorville.com that shows Americans are less likely than other people to travel to another country. Tap tap tap tap tap. Clearly they're talking about the younger generations. In my day, we were well-traveled. Many of us visited France, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia, Italy, the Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, Germany, the Philippines, Japan, the Solomon Islands, Palau Islands, China, Korea, Formosa, Egypt, Vietnam, Lebanon, Cuba, Thailand, Cambodia ... I think the article means travel for non-military reasons. What's the difference?! Travel is travel!
     
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