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| Candorville |
| Result page: | 1 | 2 | 3 | Next | (46 images) |
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1. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2018-02-18 |
Pub. Date: |
2018-02-18 |
| Image Number: |
167988 |
| Caption: |
When I was a youth, I dreamt of becoming a gangsta rapper who'd someday go legit and found a major record label and sell it for billions to Apple. Dr. Noodle. I never did it, though. I didn't know that career path was really possible. But then Dr. Dre came along and he did it. That's an awfully specific dream you had. And then there was my Russian dream. I always dreamt of striking out in real estate, then catching the eye of Russian mobsters and foreign banks who'd bail me out if I agreed to launder tons of loot for them ... and then maybe I'd run for high office so I could repay the bank by giving it a waiter exempting it from paying some huge fine, and maybe be able to use my office to repay the mafia somehow too. Y'know ... sometimes when we're jealous, we rewrite history and actually believe I thought of that first. Oh, no, I've been laundering money for year - wait, this whole thing is confidential, right?
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2. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-07-28 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-07-28 |
| Image Number: |
146473 |
| Caption: |
What's your favorite poem, Clyde? I dig the classics, Big L. "I said a hip … hop … the hippie the hippie … to the hip hip ho, and you don't stop, a rock it to the bang bang boogie … to the rhythm of the boogie, beat." True story: That's one of the all-time best poems about man's inhumanity toward man. |
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3. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2016-03-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2016-03-04 |
| Image Number: |
139628 |
| Caption: |
Don't tell nobody, bruh, but I just recorded a song with Hall & Otis. Hall & Oates?! Really?! "Maneater" was one of my favorite songs when I was a kid! What that have to do with anything? That was Hall & Oates' biggest hit. Nah, bruh … Hall & Otis' biggest hit was "I Got Yo Stuff, @#$%." Hall & Oates recorded a song called "I Got Yo Stuff, @#$%"? Yeh, when they was in prison for that beatdown they gave Ice Cube. |
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4. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-10-15 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-10-15 |
| Image Number: |
117631 |
| Caption: |
I wonder if the Tupac Hologram feel joy or pain or whatnot. Thug 4 Life. Whachoo think it doin' right now? I think it eatin' cereal. It's not doing anything. Tupac a lotta things, but lazy ain't none of them. What? What? (This cartoon was originally published on 2012-05-23). |
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5. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2014-07-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2014-07-03 |
| Image Number: |
113186 |
| Caption: |
What's your favorite poem, Clyde? I dig the classics, Big L. "I said a hip … hop … the hippie the hippie … "To the hip hip hop, and you don’t stop, a rock it to the bang bang boogie … "To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat." True story: that's one of the all-time best poems about man's inhumanity toward man. |
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6. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-12-05 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-12-05 |
| Image Number: |
104627 |
| Caption: |
Here's the thing, C-Dog … Yeah, your last album sold almost 15,000 copies … … And yeah, we supposed to give you 50% of the profits … … But there was no profit, 'cause our expenses were more than the proceeds. … For instance, we had to pay a lawyer $50k. Thug 4 Life. What for? To make it look like your album didn't earn a profit. |
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7. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2013-12-04 |
Pub. Date: |
2013-12-04 |
| Image Number: |
104626 |
| Caption: |
You wanna do the verse now, C-Dog? Whachoo mean, dawg? Thug 4 Life. That WAS the verse. Oh. My bad. I didn’t realize it was the "VERSE." I thought it was the "outdated gangsta-rap cliché nobody wanna hear anymore." Not true. These is brand new cliches. |
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8. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-10-07 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-10-07 |
| Image Number: |
87890 |
| Caption: |
You ever thought of rapping in haiku? Nah. Thug 4 Life. I'd rather rap right here. Here is closer. What? What? Thug 4 Life. I ain't goin' to Asia. Huh? What? Listen … I wrote a rap for you in haiku. What? You ain't never been to Asia either, Big L. Who you foolin'? Haiku is poetry, Clyde. I don't care how beautiful it is, I ain't goin'! Thug 4 Life. |
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9. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2012-05-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2012-05-23 |
| Image Number: |
81179 |
| Caption: |
I wonder if the Tupac Hologram feel joy or pain or whatnot. Thug 4 Life. Whachoo think it doin' right now? I think it eatin' cereal. It's not doing anything. Tupac a lotta things, but lazy ain't none of them. What? What? |
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10. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2011-08-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-08-17 |
| Image Number: |
64451 |
| Caption: |
You don't know what countries are in the horn of Africa? You of all people should know that! You racist. Why should I know that ... 'Cause I'm a rapper? 'Cause I'm street? 'Cause I'm black? "Cause it was the title of your last CD! That's neither here nor there, David Duke. |
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11. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2011-07-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-07-03 |
| Image Number: |
62677 |
| Caption: |
Dear Moron … I'm extremely offended by your latest blog where you defended Rihanna's "Man Down" video; where her character shoots a man who had sexually assaulted her. What a double-standard! If Chris Brown had made a video where HE shot a woman, you'd be outraged! And don't give me the excuse that "Well he beat HER up, not the other way around." That's neither here nor there. What kind of message does it send to show a sexual predator getting gunned down in cold blood? "DON'T RAPE PEOPLE." You and Rihanna owe rapists everywhere an apology. |
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12. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2011-05-29 |
Pub. Date: |
2011-05-29 |
| Image Number: |
61192 |
| Caption: |
Confirmation bias. Huh? It's where a person decides something to be true … … And then they look only for examples that prove they're right, and ignore all the ones that show they may be wrong. Like, for instance, someone who decides a politician is awful will dwell on his failures - no matter how tiny they may be - and ignore or marginalize his accomplishments, no matter how huge they are. What's this have to do with you being a big-ass nerd? You're ignoring my vintage Tupac collection. Don't nobody but a nerd say "vintage." |
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13. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-08-22 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-08-22 |
| Image Number: |
50982 |
| Caption: |
You ever thought of rapping in Haiku? Nah. I'd rather rap right here. Here is closer. What? What? I ain't goin' to Asian. Huh? What? Listen … I wrote a rap for you in Haiku. What? You ain't never been to Asia neither, Big L. Who you foolin'? Haiku is poetry, Clyde. I don't care how beautiful it is, I ain't goin'! |
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14. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2010-01-10 |
Pub. Date: |
2010-01-10 |
| Image Number: |
42642 |
| Caption: |
Know how Ms. Washington always said I'd never amount to nuthin'? Ms. Wash -- from first grade? … An' how when I sent Russell Simmons my first rap on the eight track, he shattered it with a baseball bat, lit it on fire and mailed it back to me C.O.D.? (Sigh) Just no call, doing that to a two-year-old. Well the C-Dog has finally arrived, fools. Look at this. A fan from Maine sent it. Is this a bear? Yeh, it -- what? No, fool, it's somebody SUV! An' the plates say "CDOGFAN"! MS. WASHINGTON, YOU AN' RUSSELL SIMMONS CAN KISS MY B ... Looks like a bear to me. |
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15. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-10-27 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-10-27 |
| Image Number: |
40265 |
| Caption: |
If you really Lemont from the future, tell me somethin' important. All right. Democrats wimp out, we don't get universal health care … … So a million or so Americans will die prematurely over the next 60 years. One of 'em, ironically, was close to discovering the cure for death. I said important, @#$%! (Sigh) ... In 2015, there'll be a big budget "Gilligan's Island" movie starring Wesley Snipes and Tom Hanks. Now we talkin'. I was hoping my memories of you were distorted by the senility. Will Kanye ever stop bein' a punk-@#$? |
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16. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-03-24 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-03-24 |
| Image Number: |
31148 |
| Caption: |
Who's down with G-O-P?! (Ahem) That's where y'all say "Yeah, you know me." It's a whole call-and-response, urban ghetto thing that the Republican National Committee totally gets. Who's down with G-O-P?! Is he moon-walking? I know a seizure when I see one. |
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17. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-03-23 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-03-23 |
| Image Number: |
31147 |
| Caption: |
Meanwhile, in the city… Where are you taking me?! Where are you taking me?! Make some noise one more time for my man Joaquin Phoenix! Clap. Yeh. All right. Man, this club is wack. It ain't that bad. Next up, we got someone new to the stage… Erebody make some noise for Republic National Committee Chairman MICHAEL STEELE! I'm going to Denny's. Y'all like bling? The GOP's got ya' bling. What! |
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18. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-02-03 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-02-03 |
| Image Number: |
29874 |
| Caption: |
Pros: Yo' new song is tight. It's positive. Uplifting. It makes it sound cool to be dignified. Cool. Cool. What's the cons? You don't say "n*****" even once. America elected a black man president. I ain't never sayin' "n*****" again. …D'oh! Good, I caught that, I'll jus' splice it in. |
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19. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-02-02 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-02-02 |
| Image Number: |
29873 |
| Caption: |
C-Dog. Your new track's tight. Whachoo call it? "Obama-rama." Love it, dude. It's positive. Hopeful. Inspires me to be a better man. Don't tell nobody, dawg, but… It made me cry. …Dude. Not CRY cry, jus'… y' know, what had happened was, it was raining, an' I confused that with tears. |
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20. |
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| Cartoonist(s): |
Darrin Bell |
| Comic/Cartoon: |
Candorville |
| Viewable Date: |
2009-01-17 |
Pub. Date: |
2009-01-17 |
| Image Number: |
29378 |
| Caption: |
Anything interesting happen today, Clyde? I bought Bebe's vintage man Parrish LP. The one with "Boogie Down Bronx" on it. Cool. Got it with the money I made sellin' inauguration tickets to the ghosts of Frederick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. See I'd probably have led with that, not with "Boogie Down Bronx," but that's just me. |
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| Result page: | 1 | 2 | 3 | Next | (46 images) |
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