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1. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-17 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-17 Pub. Date: 2020-01-17
Image Number: 181262
Caption: Sometimes I wonder how far I could go in life if I didn't have a child to raise. But then I look into his little eyes … and I wonder if I'd have been motivated to get half as far as I have if I didn't have a child to impress. I told you to never do your Running Man in front of him. Now he doesn't even trust me about broccoli.
     
2. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2020-01-16 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2020-01-16 Pub. Date: 2020-01-16
Image Number: 181261
Caption: I'm going to go to Iran, Clyde. What for, bruh? Weren't you listening? I've been invited to give a speech about the dangers journalists face. Do you have any idea how many journalists I know who've lost their lives in the line of duty? How could I say no? I feel you. Don't worry, somethin' happens to you, I'll raise your little boy to be a good accompli -- a good man. I'm not going to Iran, Clyde.
     
3. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-11-08 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-11-08 Pub. Date: 2019-11-08
Image Number: 180282
Caption: Even after all these years, Momma still won't tell me who my father is. All I know is, she met him when she was a waitress at a casino in Vegans, back in the seventies. I feel like she owes it to me to tell me. Your mom gave you life, raised you all by herself, worked from sunup to sundown to give you everything you needed ... Yeah, she really does owe you something. Glad you agree.
     
4. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-09-21 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-09-21 Pub. Date: 2019-09-21
Image Number: 179503
Caption: You don't need a woman, Big L. You smart. You work hard. You honest. You a good man. You can raise your son on your own. That's not why I'm desperately looking for a woman! Maybe not honest.
     
5. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-03-23 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-03-23 Pub. Date: 2019-03-23
Image Number: 176840
Caption: I've decided to get Elon Musk to send me for a trip around the moon in two years. I set up a Gofundme page to crowdsource money for it. My goal is to raise ten billion dollars. That shouldn't be too hard, considering there are seven billion people on earth. Non of whom are going to give you a dime. I hope not. That would only come to seven hundred million. Annoyed? How'd you like to send me far away? Here's a link to my Gofundme.
     
6. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2019-02-18 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2019-02-18 Pub. Date: 2019-02-18
Image Number: 176391
Caption: I don't get annoyed by other people's odd habits. That's good. I mean, take Cheryl, at yoga. She raises her voice at the end of every single sentence as if she's asking a question. Doesn't annoy me at all. And then there's Dale, at work. He always incorrectly uses a semicolon instead of a comma. I never even give it a second thought ... Live and let live, that's my motto. You've counted them, haven't you. He did it 97 times last month alone.
     
7. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-10-12 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-10-12 Pub. Date: 2018-10-12
Image Number: 174391
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, Because we raised your APR, your most recent automatic payment to Feudalbanc Massacard was short by one cent. So we've charged you a $75 late fee. Unless you have as many lobbyists in Congress as Feudalbanc does, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than pay up. To admit defeat, sign here: Lemont Brown.
     
8. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-07-28 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-07-28 Pub. Date: 2018-07-28
Image Number: 173092
Caption: Garcia, it's come to my attention that you earn substantially less than your male colleagues, even though you do better work. That is totally unacceptable. I've discussed it with the partners, and we'd like to offer you a raise. CEO of the Year 2002. From now on, you'll be earning only slightly less than your male colleagues. I'm only slightly less disgusted. She's accepted. Draw up the paperwork.
     
9. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-05-04 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-05-04 Pub. Date: 2018-05-04
Image Number: 171056
Caption: I read our article about how lead poisoning might be one of the main causes of violent crimes in Chicago and other cities. I liked the cost-benefit analysis part the best … where you compared the cot of replacing our cities' lead pipes vs. the cost of incarcerating criminals who were raised near those lead pipes. I bet you're going to win a Pulitzer for this one, Lemont. I wonder if there's any lead in that trophy.
     
10. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-04-13 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-04-13 Pub. Date: 2018-04-13
Image Number: 170413
Caption: I don't see why you're so surprised I own a gun, Lemont. I was raised around guns. Papa was a sheriff's deputy. Remember? Of course I remember, Susan. How could I ever forget? He was the very first cop who ever pulled me over for no reason. You had just run over someone. the tricycle always has the right of way, everyone knows that!
     
11. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-02-11 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-02-11 Pub. Date: 2018-02-11
Image Number: 167702
Caption: Told you fellers Trump would make America great ag'n. He weren't lyin', neither. At&T gave out bonuses. Sure they laid off a buncha folks at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, so that don't count. Wal-Mart gave a buncha workers raises … An' they laid off a buncha folks at Sam's Club at the same time, but twasn't none of them me, go that don't count. MAGA. Over a hundred companies are givin' out one-time $1000 bonuses an' sayin' it's 'cause of the billions of dollars in tax cuts they got. During the last gilded age, the robber barons sometimes handed out pocket change to the poor. They were placating the masses who wanted to break up their huge, unscrupulous, slave-wage-paying corporations. Sounds like fake hist'ry to me. Just saying, $1000 isn't much to pay for pitchfork insurance. We eat the poor.
     
12. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2018-01-22 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2018-01-22 Pub. Date: 2018-01-22
Image Number: 167650
Caption: A teacher stood up during a public comment portion of a school board meeting … and calmly said it was wrong to give their unelected superintendent a $38,000 pay raise while the teachers got nothing and class sizes grew. Lemme guess what was next. A cop threw her to the ground, cuffed her, dragged her outta there an' arrested her. Clyde! You started watching the news? Don't need to, bruh. America a police state.
     
13. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-09-22 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-09-22 Pub. Date: 2017-09-22
Image Number: 162852
Caption: Even after all these years, momma still won't tell me who my father is. All I know is, she met him when she was a waitress at a casino in Vegas, back in the seventies. I feel like she owes it to me to tell me. Your mom gave you life, raised you all by herself, worked from sunup to sundown to give you everything you needed ... Yeah, she really does "owe" you something. Glad you agree.
     
14. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2017-04-27 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2017-04-27 Pub. Date: 2017-04-27
Image Number: 157287
Caption: Clyde, if something ever happens to me … Don’t worry, bruh. I'll take you kid an' raise him up for you. I'll teach him all he need to know about life. He'll be the baddest two-year-old on the block. Ain't nobody gonna mess with him. I'll also teach him erethang you woulda taught him: I'll make him watch Star Track an' Doctor Boo an' some @#$% like that. Long as he ain't a snitch, we'll be cool. I was just going to say "call Susan."
     
15. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-08 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-08 Pub. Date: 2016-07-08
Image Number: 145506
Caption: … so then they offered me a raise. But it wasn't as much of a raise as I deserved. That's when I reminded them I've personally brought in 72% of our major clients … and that most of those clients have asked to work only with me … so they added $50k per year to their offer. I found a $20 bill in my couch the other day.
     
16. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2016-07-07 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2016-07-07 Pub. Date: 2016-07-07
Image Number: 145505
Caption: Garcia, it's come to my attention that you earn substantially less than your male colleagues, even though you do better work. That is totally unacceptable. I've discussed it with the partners, and we'd like to offer you a raise. CEO of the Year 2002. From now on, you'll be earning only slightly less than your male colleagues. I'm only slightly less disgusted. She's accepted. Draw up the paperwork.
     
17. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-11-04 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-11-04 Pub. Date: 2015-11-04
Image Number: 134723
Caption: Dear Lemont Brown, Because we raised your APR, your most recent automatic payment to Feudalbanc Massacard was short by one cent. So we've charged you a $75 late fee. Unless you have as many lobbyists in Congress as Feudalbanc does, there is absolutely nothing you can do other than pay up. To admit defeat, sign here: x Lemont Brown.
     
18. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-09-04 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-09-04 Pub. Date: 2015-09-04
Image Number: 131902
Caption: Sell us your blog and come back to work for us, Lemont, and we'll set up a day-care service for your son. The Candorville Chronicle. And that's on top of the raise, the profit-sharing, the parking spot and the corner office. Editor-in-Chief. If you're offering me all that, you must see a lot of growth potential for my blog. Maybe that's a sign I should just see where it takes me. Is it that you've gotten used to working in your underwear? Because if so, I'm sure we can ... Yeah, definitely a sign.
     
19. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-08-29 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-08-29 Pub. Date: 2015-08-29
Image Number: 131718
Caption: Monopoly Cable, Ryan speaking. How may I hinder you? You dropped CBS. 10% of the shows I watched were on CBS. Since you're giving me 10% less product, I will be paying you 10% less money. Ok sir, that sounds reasonable. Coincidentally, we were about to raise your rates by 10%, so let's call it even.
     
20. Cartoonist Darrin Bell  Candorville 2015-06-28 raise 
Cartoonist(s): Darrin Bell
Comic/Cartoon: Candorville
Viewable Date: 2015-06-28 Pub. Date: 2015-06-28
Image Number: 128375
Caption: Hello Concast Cable? This is Lemont Brown. I'd like you to stop calling me. You don't really want that. Yes, I do. Stop trying to get me back. It's over. It's satellite … isn't it? I could give you more than satellite gives you … just give me a chance. No, its not ... Listen, it's not you, it's not satellite. A couple years ago, I discovered Roku. And all of a sudden, Roku gave me Netflix, and Hulu, and Crackle on my tv ... and all of a sudden I had what I never knew I'd been missing. So you see, it's not you, Concast ... it's me. You're just saying that. Yeah. I am. it IS you. You and your stupid van and your smug attitude and your crazy hidden fees. It would be a shame if I were to raise your broadband bill and then you couldn't afford to stream Netflix. See? This! This is exactly the sort of thing that made me leave you!
     
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